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Arts & Culture |
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Shootout at the Batshit Corral Approved by City Council |
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The Discord’s Wilderness Survival Quiz |
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Oh My, You’ve Lost Some Weight! |
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Sure the Dark Knight Rises... |
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The Magnificent Apology Rides Again |
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The Lottery as an Investment Strategy |
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A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away... |
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Man Ends 39 Day "Moon Vigil" for Google Street View |
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America’s Newest Trend: Anti-life Coaching |
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Social Phobia Meetup Group Fails to Meet Again |
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Another Discord Apology, Rides Again |
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Sticks and Groans May Break My Balls |
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James Cameron Reaches Depth of his Box Office Flop Piranha II |
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Shocking New DNA Evidence of Wolverine’s Origins! |
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The Discord Staff Pledges to Binge Drink this Saint Patrick’s Day |
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Is Obama too Soft on this Wadiyian Tyrant? |
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Radcliffe Admits Constant Pressure of Facing Voldemort Led to Drinking |
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Alex Bone: Arizona’s New Homelessness Advocate |
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Nothing Golden Can Stay: Farewell Hostess with the Mostess |
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Live Blogging the Movie Twilight: Now I Know Why I Hate Anne Rice |
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Discord’s Word of the Day: Googootz! |
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The Ghetto Shaman's 'Barely Legal Kundalini Cruise' has been Indefinitely Suspended |
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Winslow Removes the Discord ‘Casting Couch’ from Zano’s Office |
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Edison’s Original Recordings Digitally Enhanced and Rereleased |
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Gripe of Frankenstein: Declining Popularity Forces Monster into Therapy |
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America Bans Defective French Breast Implants in Favor of Liberty Melons |
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Santa Claus' GPS Coordinates Hijacked by Iran! Sleigh Brought Down Near Tehran |
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Author Michael Griffiths' 'Zombie Christmas Story' Rejected for Lack of Gore. |
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How (and What) Does Santa Know? |
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Godzilla Always Has Trouble with Bra Strap |
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"Did Santa Just Hit On Mommy?" The Department Store Confidential |
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Horror Author Michael D. Griffiths a Zombie? |
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Buckingham Palace Rented to College Students |
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Watching the Recording Industry Shit on Me since the F-ing 60s |
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Bacon Announces ‘Six-Degrees to Kevin Bacon’ Victory |
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After the utility belt "incident" Batman could finally hit those high notes |
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Republicans Demand Muppet Segregation |
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There Ain’t No Church on Fire Tower Road |
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Geographical Answers to Global Problems |
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Bill Maher Admits He's Joe Walsh on Weekends |
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We are Discord! |
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I was a Teenage Discord Apology |
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Rise of the Archeostorageunitologist |
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The Great Recession Hits Springfield, DOH! |
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Another Job Lost |
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Las Vegas Welcomes its First Amelia Impersonator |
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Old Singers & 9/11 Don’t Mix |
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Hogwarts? Shit...this can't be right |
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"You've Got a Friend in Cheez-it" Campaign Causes Controversy |
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Searching for New Investors: The Blues Mobiles are Dead |
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Bed Bugs on the Rise? |
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The Goonification of Lovecraft: Why Universal Pictures is Dead to Me |
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Man Sentenced to Barrage of Good & Plentys, Jujubes, and Popcorn after Failing to Place Phone on Vibrate during Spy Kids 4 |
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Pierce Pissed About Private Pool Putzes |
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Rent-a-Center...I Think We Should See Other People |
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Discord's Winner of the Triple-Phallus Toon Award 2011 |
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"Job Creators" Discuss Plans for Massive Pyramid Complex |
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Arizona’s Asphalt Jungle: why the City of Glendale can stick its Corrugated Drainpipe up its own Drainpipe |
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Sesame Street Still Forcing Ernie & Bert to Live a Lie |
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U.S. Border Fence with Mexico Replaced with Banana Peels |
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Damn, I still Hate Facebook |
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Harry Potter: Ten Years I’ll Never Get Back |
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Jeff Conaway’s Death Further Proof of a Taxi Curse? |
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Holiday Inn? How about Holiday Out |
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And yet when I get a good Buzz, I can't even get a Woody |
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I don't always read the Discord |
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Discord Apology XXXIV |
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Etch A Scotch |
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Pakistanis Are Furious Beiber not Appearing in Islamabad |
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Attack Ad Goof: Tossed Real Old Lady from Cliff! |
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Grandmother Still Holding Birther Meetup Group this Saturday |
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Alex Bone Discovered in Belly of Giant Crawdad! |
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Giants Awarded Minority Status as Pants Impaired |
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Another One Bites the Dust |
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Crankin' from Long Island to Arizona |
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Alternate Royal Wedding Plans, Code Name: Operation Vegas Elope |
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The Daily Discord... |
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Why I Despise Netflix and Want My Old Video Store Back |
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Despite Extreme Cosmetic Gesture, Aflac Refusing to Rehire Gottfried |
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Daily Discord Ranked #1 among Discord Contributors |
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Bone’s Disappearance Blamed on Crawdad Attack |
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Discord Apology XXXV: The Fast and the Edit-less |
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Sheen Weaver: The Discord is Just Wild about Charlie |
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Why Were We All so Suprised that Judas Priest Guy was Gay? |
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Meet Available Discord Singles in Your Area |
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The Leslie Nielsen Foundation Suing Christina Aguilera for Plagiarism |
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47 Hobbits Missing while Working on Google Middle-Earth Project |
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Rocksongs.com Top 500 and Why I am Involving a Lawyer |
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All Two Hundred "N" Words Removed from Huckleberry Finn Resurface in Hillary Clinton’s Publication It Takes a Village |
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Welcome to My Nightmare: I was a Teenage Barbizon Parent |
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Starbucks Offers 146oz 24 shot Bucket-O-Joe |
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Attack of the Barbizons: Everyone Gets a Trophy, I get a Bill |
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Missing Snake Found Panhandling in Boston Subway |
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A 2010 Zano-Style Rebuttal |
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A 2010 Crank-Style Recap |
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Natalie Portman Pregnant with Twins! Is Hubby Slipping Toward Dark Side? |
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The X-Box 360: The Truth is in There |
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Study Suggests Winter Killed Off the Hippies |
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Christmas No Mas: or How the Crank Saved Christmas |
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BuickiLeaks Latest Dump |
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Discord to Flush All Toilet Humor |
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Hooping for Homos: Don’t Ask, Don’t…Just Don’t Ask |
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Why I Still Hate Phil Collins and Other Musical Observations |
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Best Wishes in Your Future Endeavors Mick Zano |
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Discord Hires New PR Manager |
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The Black Calling the Kettle Pot: or Something Like Fat |
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Discord Fans Sick of Rally Jokes |
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Discord Apology Episode II: Attack of the Groans |
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Jack Primus, The Ghetto Shaman, and All the Chicken Wings they could Rally |
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The Bard of Wasilla Tweets! |
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Discord Sponsored Jedi Rally! |
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Cobra Sucks: or why at 42 I want Obamacare to Allow Me Back on My Parent’s Insurance |
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Lauer Attempts to Mediate Pernick/Zano Feud |
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Post O’Donnell’s Defeat November 2nd Declared National Masturbation Day |
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Invest in Gold Plated AK-47s! |
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Ancient Dr. Zeuss Books Unearthed in Greece |
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Hey, Mr. Dominos Guy! |
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Earth is Flat Museum Opens in Kentucky! |
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GOP’s Pledge to America: More Unnecessary Wars and the Next Economic Collapse |
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The Discord's Way Off Track Betting |
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Guess the Ghetto Shaman's Last Bail Total and Win a Trip to Vegas with the Discord Gang! |
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The Obama’s Version of Mary Poppins Opens on Broadway |
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On Five Year Anniversary of Katrina, Last Victims Led from Superdome |
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Daily Discord Featured in Major Nouveau Avante Garde Magazine! |
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I’m Working with Dingbats! More Discord Editors Fired |
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Janet Jackson Brings Wardrobe Malfunction to a Whole New Level |
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Lohan is Back! |
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Several Missing Women Surface in Discord Contributor’s Freezer |
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Jihardening of the Arteries: Suicide Burgers on the Rise |
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The Hollywood Ending and Other Insightful Film Observations |
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Over 6,000 Daily Discord Emails Leaked to the Public |
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Study Suggests Facial Orifice Giantism (FOG) Decreasing in Rock Stars |
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Dear Mick Zano: You’re fired |
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Andrew Napolitano of Fox News |
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Miley Cyrus Encouraged to Visit Virtual Rehab to Prepare for Real Thing |
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Proof There's Hope for Islam! |
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A Big Thank You to N/A and Other Inane Website Statistics |
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Woman's Crib Screams for Dogs Shooting Pool and Playing Poker Theme |
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Gibson Admits His Portrayal on South Park is "Eerily Accurate" |
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Top 10 Reasons I Hate Top 10 Lists |
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House Foreclosures Increase 100% |
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Try Outs for Home Alone VII Go Poorly for McCartney |
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Dr. Conrad Murray Reports Recurring Nightmares Involving Michael Jackson's Litigious Father |
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Wanted: The Daily Discord Administrator Who Posted the Following Plug on Facebook |
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What the Fuck Did I Do? Self Background Check for People Who Can’t Remember College |
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Study Suggests a Dark Coloring Prejudice in America |
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Arizona Adds Social Site Addiction to Statewide Recovery Programs |
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Poll Finds Nine out of Ten Atheists Prefer Mormons over Jehovah Witnesses |
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Discord to Cancel Draw Mohammed in Drag Day |
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Bat Boy of Weekly World News Mauls The Onion’s Area Man |
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Serious Solutions Sought for Sesame Street's Social Slide |
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Breaking Sharia Law with Style! |
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Battle Beneath the Planet of Another Discord Apology |
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Texas Twits Twist Textbook Theme |
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Discord Editors Indicted on Error Charges |
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Cooking for Naked People |
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My Dreams Down the Twitter: Yet Another Daily Discord Lawsuit |
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Discord at the Discord: or, Why as a Contributor I’ve Resorted to Death Threats and Violence |
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Google Graphic Chafes Chinese Charge |
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It’s All Over But for the Funeral and for that I Am Sad |
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Sean Penn Diagnosed with Advanced Vincent Price Syndrome (AVPS) |
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Fledgling Discord Freelancers Felled by Unfriendly Fusillade |
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Lohan Sues E*Trade over "Milkaholic Linsday" Remark |
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Sea World Audience Fails to Identify Trainer's Killer in Police Lineup |
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Cameron's Premiere of Discord in 3D Flops |
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Nosferatu Rushed to St. Vincent’s |
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Are Anti-Depressants Destroying the Traditional Blues Band? |
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Daily Discord’s CEO to Ban All Acronym Jokes (BAAJ) |
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Discord's CEO Flies Plane into FarmVille |
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Winslow in Rehab; Six Days Off the Farm |
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Revenge of "Another Discord Apology" |
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Touched by the plight of the Navi during the 3D version of Avatar… |
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Tactics to Draw Out Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan Questioned |
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Vegas Blue Man Group Jumps Director James Cameron in Alley |
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Cadillac CTS-V: All that’s Wrong with the World? |
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Gallagher’s Autobiography Melonoma Moments Hammered by Critics |
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The Two Towers |
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John + Kate + 8 + Psychotic Bimbo - John - $230K – Show + Burglary = Who Gives a Flying Fuck? |
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Bacon Brownies an Al-Qaeda Plot? |
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R.U.S.H: Reptilian Ultra Sapient Hybrids? |
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I’ll Show You My Twitter if You’ll Sit on My Facebook |
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Poor Dad of Rich Dad Poor Dad Puzzled by Lack of Speaking Engagements |
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Mick Zano: Ambivalent Protesting at its Finest |
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Long Island Wal-Mart Celebrates Lack of Black Friday Fatalities this Year |
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Burger King: Just Out of Touch with America or Socialist Cheese Oppressing Nazis? |
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Cultural Facilitation for Dummies |
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Trend Rending |
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Yet Another Empty Discord Apology |
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Monty Python Turns Forty! Discord Staffer Laments of Life Pre-Python |
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Amidst Recession Kids Find Fun in the Simple Things |
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My First Impression of Joining Facebook |
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Bin Laden Targets Oktoberfest! Daily Discord Declares War on Al-Qaeda |
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Breaking News: Discord’s CEO Pierce Winslow to Fire Zano as Head Comedy Writer! |
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Spirographic Dianetics and the Evolution of Consciousness |
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Jacko's Doctor Speaks Out: Sure I Moved the Body... |
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Winslow Cancels Discord One Year Anniversary Celebration |
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I Don't Care What You Do to Me... |
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Obama's Hash-for-Punkers Initiative is All the Rave |
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Werewolf Caught Drinking Pina Coladas at Trader Vics: Obama Vows to send the Envoy |
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Top Ten Worst Bar Names |
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My Facebook Needs a Face Lift |
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Police Seek Ghetto Shaman as Person of Interest in Jackson Case |
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A CEO Update: Winslow Insists Michael Jackson Spoof Articles Should Taper Off by Mid-to-Late October |
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Jackson’s Doctor Insists He Only Prescribed the Diprivan, Xanax, Valium, Percoset, Demerol, Oxys, and Vicodin: But I Told Michael to Lay Off the Big Jug Extra Malt Liquor |
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Why I am Staying in the U.S. and Resolved to Eat Bugs |
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And on the Third Day He Rose: Jackson Emerges from UCLA Morgue |
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Michael Jackson Is Still Dead, for Now |
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Michael Jackson’s Autopsy Secrets Revealed! |
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Some Important Feedback from the Holy Land |
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Very Dated Discord (the Cock Dilemma) |
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Amurican Education and that Bitch Kimmy Grenawitz |
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Newly Discovered Seuss Manuscripts Are Troubling |
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The Daily Discord: 2009 An Editing Odyssey |
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What is the Southwest’s Fascination with Jerky and Will They Get Over It? |
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How Science Fiction Lost Its Soul and How We Can Beam It Back |
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Winslow: Discord to Return to its Glorious Past |
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Trump U.N. Hotel & Casino |
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Top Ten Inspirational Rock Songs |
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Local Forty-Six Year Old Decides to Finally Take Down Farrah Poster |
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Top 10 Butch Rocksters Showing Their Feminine Side |
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City Plans Several Soup-Kitchen Practice Runs |
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Institutional Inhibitors to National Development (Besides the Discord) |
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DON’T CALL ME I’LL CALL YOU |
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DNA Reveals Santa Slayer Actually Just Santa’s Helper |
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AC/DC Admits All Nineteen Albums Really Just One Long Song |
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Fear And Loathing With Mr. Giggles |
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The Articles Of Degeneration |
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CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY 2008 PARIS HILTON’S NEW BENTLEY |
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Top Ten Fictitious Drinks and Places to Enjoy Them |
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Ozzy Sues Sabbath Tribute Band for Plagiarism |
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Ancient Skeletal Remains May Just Be Keith Richards |
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Dexy of the Midnight Runners Vows Second Hit Coming |
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The Official Crank Manifesto 2008 “This Smells Like Ass” Top Fifteen |
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AARP: 50 Years of Innovation, Inspiration, and Incontinence |
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MICHAEL SAVAGE - Fight For Your Rights |
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Hit By Economy Woes Disney to Lay Off Sneezy and Doc |
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Fear And Loathing With Mr. Giggles |
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Pubs Vs. Clubs: The Case Against a Woman’s Right to Vote |
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Broadway Play on Erectile Dysfunction Flops |
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With Heath Ledger gone will it really be a problem finding the next Joker? |
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CRANK MANIFESTO On Driving and Cars |
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Top 10 Things to Slap on Back of Friend’s Unattended Laptop |
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RUSH LIMBAUGH: Step It Up, Bitch |
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The Rock Gods Fatal Flaws |
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Band of Klingons Ruin Local Civil War Reenactment |
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Top Ten Worst Documentaries Of All Time |
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Worst Rock Solo Careers of All Time |
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The Sir Woody Chronicles |
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Fox's Tentative Fall Line-Up |
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Toward an Elightened Media |
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News & Politics |
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Gingrich Reveals his 32-State Concession Speech Tour |
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2012: A Space Case Odyssey |
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Seattle Five-O: Post ‘em, Zano |
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Obama Dispatches Enterprise to Persian Gulf... |
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Pope Angers Gotham: Is Batman Working for the Vatican? |
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Krauthammer V Zano: The Hawk-Spank Redemption |
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Sarkozy Bitten by Werewolf! |
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Bleary Eyed Politician Declares War on Pollen |
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Onward Christian Actors |
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Secretaryian Violence Increases in Syria |
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Discord Dissident Disses the Debt Deal Debacle |
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Cheney's Doctor Speaks Out on His Controversial Operation |
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Dick Cheney "Doing Great" after Heart Transplant |
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Gingrich Vows to Campaign on Future Moon Base |
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What did you expect? Welcome, Sonny? Thanks for nabbing Bin Laden? Thanks for avoiding a depression? |
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Good Healthcare & Phoenix: Mutually Exclusive Terms |
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Mysterious Phoenix Explosion Explained |
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The Discord Caption Contest Winners Are: |
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Springfield Elects Mayor for 17th Term |
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Republicans Speak from Two Places, Ideology or Their Asses |
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Man Admits He's Not a Huge Paul Fan |
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Who Ordered the Drone Attack that Killed Breitbart? |
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GOP: You’re Squandering an Opportunity More Golden than Trump Friggin’ Towers! |
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Dingo Did Not Take Baby: Age Old Mystery Solved? |
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New GOP Frontrunner Land of the Lost's Chaka!! |
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Obama Threatens to Drop the F-Bomb on Iran |
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You Show Me Your Birth Certificate If You Want to See Mine |
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The Liz Cheney Interview: Brought to You by the Makers of Nexium |
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Gomez-Fester 2012 |
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Newt Gingrich Concedes Race and Endorses Younger Newt Gingrich |
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Did Romney Pander to Vegas Voters? |
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Brewer Queen of the Desert |
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Punxsutawney Pete Predicts Six-More-Weeks of Slow Economic Growth |
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Republicans STILL Seeking Likeable, Dangerously Incompetent Candidate |
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Ham Slam: Miss Piggy’s Fox News Roast |
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Is Gingrich Practicing his 'Knock Out' Campaign Promise on Lesser Dems? |
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Freudian Slippery? Gingrich Shakes Baby’s Hand and Kisses Mother |
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Cruise Captain Burns Down Home During House Arrest! |
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Megyn Kelly vs Andrew Sullivan: Reality vs the Neococoon |
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One Percenter Donates $7.5 Million to Repair Washington's 'All Seeing Eye' |
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Obama to Increase Deficit in New 'Fun Size' Increments |
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Does the Colbert Surge Mark the End for America? |
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Yes We Have No Bananas... |
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2011 The Discord’s Person of the Year |
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2012: The Choice between Smart Unconstitutional Power, or Incompetent Unconstitutional Power |
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Obama Falls Behind on White House Mortgage Payments |
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Stick to Writing Jokes, Mikko: The Zano Rebuttal Rides Again |
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DON'T TAUNT DR. EGO!!!! |
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The Taliban, the Hawks and the Biden "Gaffe" |
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Bachmann Hires North Korean Criers After Stunning Loss in Iowa |
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Actually, This is When the North Koreans Started Crying |
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The Alan Colmes of Facebook and the Comment Thread from Hell |
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Where is the Supercommittee Now? |
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Cain Funds Time Machine in Effort to Not Grope Women in Past |
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Georgia Woman Claims, "Despite My Advances, Cain Was Never Inappropriate" |
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Belgium Downgraded to Countrytoid |
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Save Some Real Money Supercomittee, Weed the People! |
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Gingrich Surge Fueled by Angry NBA Fans |
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Stunning Volcano Spews Hot Air and Lava Miles into the Air |
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Christmas Elves Forcibly Remove Occupy North Polers |
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Republicans Still Seeking Likeable, Dangerously Incompetent Candidate |
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Entitled Occupiers, Sociopaths, and those "Free Market" Slaves |
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What We All Can Agree On |
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Obama Expected to Give Up During Next Scheduled Press Conference |
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Mission to Be Accomplished for Real |
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Oklahoma Earthquake: Millions of Kernels Still Trapped under Downed Cornstalks! |
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RIP My Little Bundle of Nuclear Joy |
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Cain-Burns 2012 |
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Conviction Change is Real! |
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If America Promises to Disband Capitalism will you all take a Shower? |
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Making Fun of These Royals Means Prison or No Lunch Specials for a Lifetime |
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Tea Party Chooses Hypocrisy over Religiosity |
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Eric Holder's Amazon Purchases Hacked! |
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Occupy Wal*Mart Protest Lasts Six Grueling Hours |
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I Said I Wasn’t Going to Read Zano’s Post, But, Alas, I Did |
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The Shit Heard Round the World |
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Planting the Seeds of Discord and Unintended Consequences |
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Palin Not Running: Prefers to be "an Outsider" |
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E*Trade Baby Attacked by Wall Street Protestors! |
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Are Christie and Huntsman Too Smart for the GOP? |
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Onion Copycat Case Draws Anemic Ridicule for Discord |
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Chris Christie’s Speech: Revisionist History or Just Plain Bullshit? You Decide |
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Chris Christie Should Not Run!! |
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Mothman Found Dead! |
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Nation to Cryogenically Freeze itself until Current Job Problem Solvable |
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Merkel Agrees to EU Bailouts Only if Greece Submits to a Drug Test |
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ASPCA Mistakenly Euthanizes Tea Party Congressman |
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Live-Blogging the Republican Debate on Opiates |
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Osama Bin Laden’s Wife Claims Pot was "Mellowing him Out" |
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Cheney Reveals his Post 9/11 Undisclosed Location in New Book |
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He Rode a Blazing Deficit |
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Bachmann Lured through Hellish Nether Portal |
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English Bobbies to Quell Riots by Saying Stop…Again |
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You Say You Want a Revolution? |
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Perry Trump in 2012 |
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Right-Wing Blow-Hards Lead the Charge |
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England has the right idea... |
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Cthulhu Officially Endorses Palin |
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Egypt: Mubarak Faces Lethal Dose via Water Dispenser |
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Man Filling Void left by Glenn Beck with Cannibalism |
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Ill-Informed Citizens Unite, form of Tea Bag |
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The Romney3000 Breeched: Hackers make off with Sensitive Campaign Data! |
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Clemency for Clemens? Why Lying to a Politician Should Not Only Be Legal But Encouraged |
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Bush and Cheney Deny Employing Dementors at Guantanamo Bay |
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Life Impaired Protest Ends In Violence |
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Murdoch Claims Fox News is "Too Biased to Fail" |
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The Crank Redeemed! Everything in my Last Post was Liberal Propaganda |
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2007 Miss Teen U.S.A. Finalist the New Tea Party Queen? |
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Scientists Lied, Camels Died |
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North Korea Boasts Capability of New Ballistic Something: Taepowoodendong-2 |
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GOP Claims Gingrich’s Mouth Nearly Contained at this Time |
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No Negotiating with Teabaggerists! |
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Happy Crankipendence Day: for those who Give a Shit |
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Palin to Donate Frontal Lobes to Bachmann Campaign |
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Obama, "Our Borders are Secure!" |
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Palin Announces Exit Strategy |
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Climate Change, Global Weirding, and the Universally Wrong |
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Hey, Mikko, Stop Blowing Wind up My Ass |
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Government Contracts with Tornado Hunters |
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Spendthra VS. Cutzilla: Battle for Earth |
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Palin Leaves Children, Dog Outside of Bar for Two Hours with Tour Bus Running |
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The Last Supper: Progressive Thought and Reverse Peristalsis |
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2012 Palin Presidency Prophecy! |
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On Closer Inspection, Maybe the Birthers were Right! |
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I’m Running for President! |
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Discord Responds to Dems & Republicans...Release the CRANKEN!!! |
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Dateline: Saturday May 21st 6:00PM: World Ends |
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Dems Respond... |
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The Economy: $ome Ea$y $olution$ that Can’t Po$$ibly Work |
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We Have No Good Nominees? This Late? |
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Twisted Twister hits Adult Shoppe with Deadly-Hysterical Consequences |
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Bin Laden Death Photo Creates More Questions than Answers |
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Bin Laden Spent Final Hours Watching Baywatch Marathon |
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Due to Continued Al-Qaeda Threats to the Daily Discord... |
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ACLU Condemns Ocean’s Treatment of Bin Laden’s Body |
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Instead of an Islamic funeral, can't we just shove a bomb up his ass and drop him on Kaddafi? |
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The Discord Exclusive Sean Hannity/Mick Zano Interview! |
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Orcs Vying to Overthrow Sauron through Social Sites |
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FAA Bans Booze for Controllers, Recliners on Probation |
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The Garbage Gestapo Has Come to Mayberry |
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Trump’s Hairdresser Calling for Exploratory Committee |
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Never Mind that Shit, Here Comes Mongo! |
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Etrade Baby Arrested on Insider Trading Charges |
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Burger King Mascot Fails in Libya |
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Japanese Nuclear Engineers Seeking "Expert" Advice from Springfield Man |
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Crankin’ Up a Shutdown |
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NASA Discovers Planet Where Republican Views Make Sense |
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Neocons to Defund NPR to Raise Funds to Bomb Syria |
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The Grudge Report |
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Libya: Two Special Comments, Three Special Swear Words |
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Mattel to Introduce Moose Murder Barbie! |
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Plume with a View: The Best Place to View Radioactive Cloud is Southwestern U.S. |
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Obama Sends Fleet to Head off Japanese Radiation Plume |
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U.S. Cooling Japanese Reactors with Help from Snow Miser? |
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I’m Waving the Cranky White Towel of Disgust |
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Critics Accuse NRA of Marketing to Children |
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Texas Governor Calling for Death of Illinois Governor Who Abolished Death Penalty |
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Info from Japan's Nuclear Incidents Unreliable? |
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Being a Fox News Contributor: Few are Chosen, Fewer Still are Called |
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The Case for Obama’s Impeachment |
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Egypt's Aftermath: Looters Make Off with the Great Pyramid |
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Send in the Envoy: |
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There are No Heroes: Pox on Both Yer Budgets! |
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Intelligence Suggests Gaddafi Seeking Plutonium |
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Decision 2012, The New Face of Roulette |
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Dr. Zaius Banishes Democratic Leadership to Forbidden Zone |
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What Are You so Damn Proud of Real America? |
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Last Day in Office Mubarak to be Entombed in Great Pyramid of Giza |
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Ruperteiser Scrooge: A Post Christmas Carol Post |
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A Cranky Morning in New York |
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Cairo Unhappy with New Value Menu |
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Obama Apologizes to Pakistan for Next Dozen Drone attacks |
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Biden Reassures the Country of Afghanistan... |
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Narnia Boasts Successful Enrichment of a Weapons-Grade Mythical Element |
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Eric Holder: Not Exactly Sure Where His Keys Are |
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Did All 5,000 Birds Die by Flying into a Large Window Suspended from Two Hot Air Balloons? |
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Seven Mythical Creatures Dead after Botched Narnian Drone Attack |
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Fox News Linked to Rage, Paranoia, and Impotence in Lab Rats |
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Straight Marine Mistakenly "Comes Out" After DADT Verdict |
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Al-Qaeda Planning Christmas Attacks! |
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Hoover Dam Bridge Dismantled to Save Flying Salmon |
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The New York Times Suing The Daily Discord…Again |
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WikiLeaks: The Discord Makes Stuff Up! |
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City Employee Admits to Leaving Bat Signal on All Weekend |
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Obama Humiliated by "Singing Frog" Sensation |
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Al Gore , Men In Green, and the HARP that will Destroy Earth! |
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Airport Offers "Happy Ending" Security Screenings |
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In Defense of Our 44th President |
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Rangel's Pitty Plea at the Big Hearing: |
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Discord Derides Daily Show for Rally Folly |
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Dark Rider Sightings Shock Shirefolk |
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Apparently Only Five People Interested in Restoring Sanity in Arizona |
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The Crank's Idea of Em-bed-ded Reporting |
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Obama Sells Texas to Mexican Drug Cartel |
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Debate is the Death of Conversation: Especially with You! |
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Midterm Enthusiasm Gap Finally Identified |
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Another Unnecessary Scathing Personal Attack on Pernick |
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Midterms Looming: Will Republicans Stop the Budgetary Madness? |
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Fox on Both Your Houses: The Green Meanies and Patriotic Pinheads Deciphered |
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Petraeus Urges Discord to Halt Plans for Egg a Radical Muslim Cleric Day |
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Was the Red Toxic Sludgeslide a Result of Hellboy's Value Menu Night? |
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Glenn Beck! |
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Backyard Beer Summit: Obama Meets Jon Stewart and CNN’s Rick Sanchez over Beer |
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God Told Me to Masturbate to Christine O'Donnell Ads |
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Pictures of Discord’s D.C. Mall Rally Doctored? |
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Discord’s "I’m Having a Hard Time Giving a Shit" Rally Flops |
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Fox News & the Tea Party: Sometimes There Isn’t Safety in Numbers |
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Don’t Tell Me ‘bout Racism, I’m a $@#% Beige Gorilla! |
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Rahm Emanuel May Leave the White House This Week! |
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CNN: It Isn’t Just For Blitzer Anymore |
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Goodstock: Three Months of Jobs, Growth, and Prosperity has Died |
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Bush Forever Cements Legacy by Forfeiting Heisman Trophy |
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The Terrorists Win the War on Terror: Film at 11 |
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I’m Sure You Made a Valid Point Somewhere, Crank: We Have People Working on It Now |
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Mongo Tony Blair Grabs and Devours his Creator to the Horror of a Large UK Crowd |
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One More Time…with Feeling! A Zano Rebuttal |
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CHRISTIE/CRANK IN 2012 |
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Sure One Mosque at Ground Zero is Controversial, but a Pair... |
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Ms. Cretin USA Pageant 2010 a Dead Heat! |
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Mosque of the Red Death: Fundamentalism, Tribalism and the Fighting Foxeteers |
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Source of Iowa Egg Salmonella Outbreak Discovered |
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Kubrick Directed Obama Family Gulf Swim! |
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From My Cold Dead Amendments: Thomas Was Wrong to Invoke the 14th in Support of the 2nd Amendment |
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The ShamWhite |
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Boomeritis, College Trials, and the Infamous Starburst Incident |
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Petraeus to Expand Don’t Ask Don’t Tell to His War Exit Strategies |
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A Confused Senator Nelson Refuses to Confirm American Idol Judge Nomination |
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Plot to Bomb VP Biden’s Vocal Chords Mistakenly Foiled |
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OK, Crank, I’ll Stop Bitching: After this One Last Time |
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Latest BP Footage Shows New Well Cap Working |
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BP Photoshopper Vows to Make the Gulf Spill Look Better, One Pixel at a Time |
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Hung, Beaten, Impaled Iranian Nuclear Scientist’s Death Deemed Suicide |
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Funny Thing, but Breaking Something Called the Justice Department Might Have Consequences for, er…Justice |
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Obama Clones Dispatched for Gulf Clean Up |
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Interview with the Zanpire |
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In Bid for Reality TV Spot, Octomom Sends Children on Cross Atlantic Flying Canoe Trip |
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Is Barack Obama a Textbook Case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder? |
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BP Insists Their Containment Dome is State of the Art |
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Many Spend the 4th Reminiscing with Fox News: Harkening Back to a Time of Rampant Patriotism and ‘We’re # 1’ Absurdities |
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The Subliminal Mind Fuck America |
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State of Emergency Declared as Wave of Incompetence Slams into Washington |
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The Début of The Chronicles of Jack Primus, or Zombie and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance |
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BP Gusher Now Spewing Guinness! |
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Libertarians Anonymous: Breaking with the Tea Parties, Texas Tea, and All Things Lipton |
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BP Spends 1.3 Billion on Oil Gusher Video Makeover |
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Gen. McChrystal Sets the Record Straight: I'm inundated with tribal types, petty warlords, and corrupt leaders... |
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Valdez Vet to Pilot Petroleum Pickup |
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Cranking on the Border |
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HELP WANTED: m/f/other POSITION: President of large North American country |
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Obama Vying for Government Control over Financial Markets and Hookers |
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Palin: The Other White Meat |
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Daily Discord Admits to Photoshopping Giant Guatemalan Sink Hole |
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Screw You and the Deficit You Rode in On (a Zano Rant: Part Deux) |
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Thomas Suggests Controversial Discord Contributor Relocate to Poland! |
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The Truth about Liberal Lies |
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Ann Coulter Sued by Opportunistic Leftist Bitches |
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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Protest |
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Bush, the Tea Party, and Fiscal Conservatism for Dummies |
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BP Last Week: "Spill Tiny Compared to Ocean." BP This Week: "Earth’s Demise Insignificant compared to Whole Universe." |
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Don't Worry Shahzad, Failed Jihadists Get 72 Sturgeons in the Afterlife |
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Putin: Kicking Some Pirate Heine |
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Praising Arizona |
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Send Brewer, Guns, and Money |
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Greece is the Word |
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The Tea Party Deciphered |
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Beyond Petroleum Jelly |
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U.S. Coast Guard Releases Image of Oil Spill Response Efforts |
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Chinese Freighter Filled with Shark Fins, Whale Blubber, and Crude Oil Smashes into Great Barrier Reef |
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Dumb and Hummer |
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The Next 9-11!!! |
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Does America Need an Integral, Yet Raging, Nougat-Filled Center? |
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Black Box Reveals Polish President’s Desire to Restore the Polish Joke |
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The Ballad of Lizzie Board’em |
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U.S. Military to Weaponize Biden’s Mouth |
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Proctologist Fingered in Police Lineup |
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Second Inconvenient Truth Linked to Al Gore’s Cross-Dressing |
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Dr. Obamacare: or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Healthcare Bill |
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The Death Book Resurrection by Messiah Obama |
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A Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Engineer Exposed as Al-Qaeda Operative! |
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Free Speech for Those who Can Afford It: An Informed Rebuttal |
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Voter Victimization: How Do I Know When My Political Party is Abusive and Controlling? |
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Free Speech for Those who Can Afford It |
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Job Stimulus Package Patterned after Male Enhancement Pill Cialis |
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Think Outside the Fox: A Crank Rebuttal |
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Are Nashville Predator Drones Killing too Many Civilians? |
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Mick Zano: Dip 3 |
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Clash of Civilizations? |
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Military Wiccans Denounce Don’t Cast Don’t Spell |
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Obama Just Needs a 9/11 Moment to Unite Country Behind His Agenda |
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Obama’s Economic Team Seen Entering Cash Advance Establishment |
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Obama Fights Soft Image by Releasing Guantanamo Detainees… |
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The Transcosmetic Party: No. We Don’t Necessarily Wear Dresses |
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Discord Sues Sarah Palin on Charges of Self Satire |
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The Double Dip Recession and the Obama Illusion |
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Haitian Refugees Housed in Guantanamo Mistakenly Tortured |
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A Mikky-Twoshits Rebuttal |
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The Daily Discord: Breaking Down News into Tiny Shards of Sensationalism |
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Darth Eighter: The Proposition 8 Sith Lord |
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Obama Admits The Count Tallied Jobs Created by the Stimulus Package |
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Liberal Reaction to Sarah Palin Becoming a Fox News Contributor |
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Rescue Called Off in Haiti: Too Many Survivors Asking to Return to Rubble |
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Report Suggests Military Missed Signs Fort Hood Shootist was Radicalized |
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Silly Hat Day Goes Unnoticed at Afghani Parliament |
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Reid Walks on the Wild Side, Steps in Shit |
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New Book Game Change Reveals Palin’s Own V.P. Debate Prep Notes |
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The Crotch Bomber Kid |
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To Prove His Patriotism... |
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The Libranos |
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The Great Crank Hunter |
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Napolitano Finds No Evidence of Her Own Competence |
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Marriott Admits 27 Gingerbread Men Died During Construction of Castle Display |
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Bride of "Another Discord Apology" |
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An Open Letter to Ed "Erectile Dysfunction" Whiteacre, Chairman of GM |
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Economy Brightens! |
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Supplement Your Lack of Covered Breast Exams with an Uncovered Discord Mammogram Today! |
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Zano Warns of Double Dip Recession |
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Iran Insists their 'Death to America Jihad-9' Nuclear Warheads are for Peaceful Purposes Only |
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HIV Infections Spread During World AIDS Day Debacle |
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Second Bow Comes with a Not so Subtle Message |
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Brady Campaign Seeks to Disarm Military to Stop Gun Violence |
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Mayor Attacks Obama for Preempting Charlie Brown X-mas in America’s Fartland |
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It Might Not Happen Tomorrow: So Keep On Polluting |
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You Can Get Up Now Mr. Stowie. They're Onto Us. |
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Discord Discovers Real Reason Lou Dobbs Left CNN! |
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Happy Cranksgiving: Hey Congress, How ‘Bout a Reach Around? |
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The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's Recent Infatuation with Pornography... |
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Foghorn Leghorn Rocks Holder’s World |
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Hillary Pushing for Bill to Decrease Emissions |
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Obama Calls China Visit a Success: Annual Fee Waived and Two Late Payment Charges Lifted |
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Mahmoud Abbas Vows to Rid Palestine of Himself |
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You Shall Not Pass!!!! |
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Zano You Ignorant Slut (Remember SNL, Kids?) |
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Try Stealing This One American Digest! |
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Et tu Stewarte? Discord Sues The Daily Show and Declares War on American Digest |
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Crisis Center Dispensing Xanax in Lobby |
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Apocalypse Now: The Daily Discord Secretly Enriching Uranium? |
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Zano’s Real Fox News Blogathon: Why My Wife Insists I Switch Back to Porn (Part 2) |
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Michelle Obama Scrutinizes the Collective Spine of the Democrats |
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Ghetto Shaman Implicated in Sedona Death Lodge Incident |
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Zano’s Real Fox News Blogathon: Why My Wife Insists I Switch Back to Porn (Part 1) |
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Super Fox Me: Discord Staffer Snaps During 24 Hour Fox News Blogathon |
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Our Country Went with a Public Option |
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Additional Stimulus Funds Target Obama’s Sinking Poll Numbers |
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Worse than Carter? |
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Manson and Cooper in 2012 |
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Henee Family Balloon Hoax History |
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ACLU Wins! Court Orders Removal of All Religious Symbols from Federal Land |
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I WANT TO BELIEVE: American Digest Isn’t Abducting Our X-Files Shit |
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Let’s Make Sure This Never Happens Again by Making Another Shitty Law |
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Parachuting from Responsibility to Profit |
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Rick (I’m) Right (Dave You're Wrong) Pernick |
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A Change I Can Bereave In |
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Austin Police Chief to Criminalize Bloggers! |
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Apes, Shamans, and Atsals on Health Care |
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Healthcare: A Broken System Almost as Bad as Depicted by Michael Moore |
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God Punishes Southeast For Opposing Public Option |
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Holy Crap, Mick: Spirogyra and the Integral Blowfish? |
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Hey, Let’s Show the World How Well We’re Doing on Emissions by Hosting the G20 in Pittsburgh |
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Governor David A. Paterson: Running Blind |
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Happy Constitution Day! |
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I'd Rather Be Crank Boarding |
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Bin Laden Tape and Pelosi Close-Up Combine to Raise National Threat Level |
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Will the Real Conservatives Please Stand Up: At Least the Ones Who Are Medically Safe to Do So |
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Obama Appoints Girl Scout as FEMA Czar |
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Government GPS Proposed in All Cars: You Have Exceeded Legal Mileage Limit RETURN HOME NOW |
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Obamacare to not Cover Tourettes Syndrome; Congressman Pissed |
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Obama Science Czar Holdren Calls for Forced Abortions |
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The Rise and Propofall of Michael Jackson |
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Universal What Care? Once More unto the Crank, Dear Friends |
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If You Want to Put Out a Fire in Athens… |
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Why I Refuse to Vote in Afghani Elections to Enjoy Some Allah-Approved Domestic Violence |
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Hey Mick? You Win the Lottery? |
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Obamacare: Is the Public Option Really a Pain in the Privates? |
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Rahm Emanuel Named “Sith of Interest” in Death of Robert Novak |
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Sarah Palin: The New Frau Blücher! NEEEHeeHeheeheeeheh |
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Pelosi to Oversee Obama’s Death Panels |
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11th Grader Insists He’s “Too Big to Fail” |
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The Patriotard Menace: A Crank Rebuttal |
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GOP Runs Amuck in Town Hall Meetings |
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Earth To Mick: Can You Hear Me Now? |
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New Federal Healthcare Insurance Policies Only Benefit Klingons, Siamese Twins, and Earthworms |
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Clinton Admits the Two Girls He Brought Back From His Oriental Envoy Are Not the Missing Journalists |
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BOY! I Say, I Say BOY! |
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Brewhaha: Obama Beer Summit Breaks Down to Brew Swayin’ Bust |
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Obama Appoints Burger King Mascot as Petty Dictator Czar |
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Earth to All Patriotards |
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Cranking On Gadner |
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Russians Suggest Buttons for New World Currency |
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Those Libertarian Blues |
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Rahm Emanuel Told Me to Smile and Look Happy... |
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Top 10 Real Reasons Sarah Palin Resigned |
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An Open Letter To Whomever The Fuck Is Going To Actually Be “IN CHARGE” Of The “NEW” General Motors |
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Al Qaeda Planning to Use Our Own National Birds Against Us! |
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A Letter to Sergio Marchionne: Thoughts of Chrysler’s Future from an American Guido Car Guy (AG/CG) |
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Obama Claims Dealing with Iran is Not Difficult |
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Talk Awfully and Carry a Big Dick: The George W. Bush Story |
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Maersk Line's Answer to Somali Pirates |
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Mick Zano Detained After Slim Jim Factory Explosion |
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Discord Designates Cheney Enemy Combatant |
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Sadistic Cryptozoologist Found Plucking Feathers off of Rare Spotted Owl |
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Newly Leaked CIA Torture Pics Raise More Questions than They Answer |
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DAVID CARRADINE DIES IN HANGKOK, THAIHAND |
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Torture: It’s Not Just for Gitmo Anymore |
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The Brown Box Recovered from the Wreckage Reveals the Pilot’s Last Fateful Words, “SHEEEEEEEIT!” |
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Pelosi Deemed Too Stupid for Any Accountability on Torture |
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Pelosi's Statements Have Been Consistent! |
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Look What 183 Waterboarding Sessions Have Done to this Man! |
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Was Cheney the Sith Lord or Merely the Sith Apprentice? |
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From My Cold Dead Opposable Thumbs |
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Hey, Joe, Where You Going With My Gun in Your Hand? |
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Revolution is in the Err: Bachman Boehner Overdrive |
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New World Currency Provoking the Paranoid? |
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The Transcosmetic Party: Evolve or Dissolve |
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Discord Holds Protests in Six Cities to Bash the Media: No One Covers It |
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One Flew Safely from the Cuckoo's Nest |
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Why I Am Protesting All Protests and Finally Turning off Cable News |
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Liar vs. Exaggerator |
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Mounting Pressure Forces Discord Staff to Return Stimulus Bonuses |
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Struggling Discord to Slash Crossword Puzzle! |
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California Cranken |
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Romer Picked to Head Economic Advisory Council |
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Economy Forces Seven of Ten Discord Staffers to Move Back in with Their Parents |
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Kiester Island |
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Palin Outraged About Something |
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We Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: Paranoia and Secret Societies |
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Know Pope! The Mr. Sunshine Tour |
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Obama Refuses to Dismantle Bush’s All Seeing Eye |
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Obama’s Hate Speech |
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Dems Confused Why Billions of Imaginary Dollars Not Helping Economy |
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Top Ten Reasons Why the Government Should Not Nationalize Anything |
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Integral Men Are Real Men: Cranken Revisited |
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A Stimulating Conversation with Fox: I Got Your Package Right Here |
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Top Ten Things We Should Nationalize Before They’re Gone |
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Obama Administration Already Low on Promises |
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So Long My Friend; Real Men Will Miss You |
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Republicans Insist They Are Not Partisan, Just Stupid |
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The Audacity of, "Nope" |
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Top 10 Jobs Created by the Stimulus Package |
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Janet Napolitano Confirmation Hearing for Head of Homeland Security |
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Mikko, Mikko, Mikko |
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Al-Qaeda to Close Twenty-Seven Training Camps |
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Pork, It’s What’s for Package |
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SpankenCranken |
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The Crank Manifesto: On Hannity & Zano, a Match Made in Heaven! |
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Obama to Compromise on Immigration: Will Build Giant Wall Around Bush’s Texas Compound |
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Israel Insists Gaza Operation Nearing Completion |
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Our Obama Wish List: Please Restore... |
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Setting the Record Straight: A Daily Discord Apology |
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Discord Captures Celebrity Sighting |
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Bush to Cancel Obama’s Honeymoon Period |
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THE CRANK MANIFESTO: On Al Cranken and Minnesota Politics |
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World Shudders as Putin Feeds Kremlin After Midnight |
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Help, I Accidentally Turned on Hannity’s America Last Week! |
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Political Climate Change is Real! |
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Presidential Pet Pick Perturbs PETW |
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Recent Bombings Decimate Gaza’s Tourism |
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Back in 2000 Prince Charles made a bet that Bush would make a 'smashing' president. |
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Recent Greek Riots Destroy Several Old Buildings |
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The Daily Discord Man of the Year Bernard Madoff |
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For Appeal O.J. Requests His First Jury |
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The House Divided |
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Bush Hopes to Calm Global Market by Leaving Soon |
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Thus Spake Zanothustra |
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THE CRANK MANIFESTO: The Zano Rebuttal |
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Gay Marriage Rebutthole |
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Rahm Emanuel denies any wrongdoing in the Gov. Blagojevich case |
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THE CRANK MANIFESTO: Get a Life Zano! |
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No Link Between Discord Executive and Corrupt Illinois Gov. Blagojevich |
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Discord Announces Two Billion Dollar Bailout Request |
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Mawiage, Mawiage, that Dweam Within a Dweam |
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San Francisco Reinstates the Guillotine for Proposition 8" Voters |
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Is Obama Taking This Cabinet-of-Rivals-Thing Too Far? |
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SNEAK PEEK AT NEXT YEARS DETROIT AUTO SHOW! |
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Spiral Dynamics and American Politics |
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Congressman Paul Broun: I Call You Out, You Civics Class Dropout Douchebag! |
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Obama Announces His Four Point Econ Plan: Orders Next Four Digits on Debt Clock |
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My Flip Flop Reversal |
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Al-Qaeda: Mission Accomplished |
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Objective Blame vs. Qualitative Responsibility: The Blamesylvania Rebuttal |
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Much Discord in Blamesylvania |
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Enola Gay Flown Over Iraqi Airspace: Drops Thousands of 'Hint, Hint' Flyers |
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2008 Election: Redneck Reaction |
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When All Else Fails, Joe Walsh For President |
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Obama Clarifies PA Misstatement: Meant ‘Bible Thumping Hickwads’ |
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Today’s Worst Liberal in the World |
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Republicans, Democrats to Swap Symbology |
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Bush, Fascism, and the Other ‘N’ Word |
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Obama’s Campaign for Change is Every Beggar’s Dream |
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Barak Obama: You Mean I’m Going to Stay this Color? |
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A Recent Email Exchange Between Barak Obama and the Discord’s Own, Mick Zano |
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The Once and Future Nepotist |
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Hillary Names Running Mate |
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Emperor Barney Nero |
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Discord Discovers Shriver Secret Identity |
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Desperate for Experience Points, Dems Opt for Controversial Mind-Meld |
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Max Headroom Resurfaces |
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The Discord to Lay Off Seventeen Editers |
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Corporate Execs Earn Their Bonuses |
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Springtime for Wilber? |
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Palin Faces Ethics Panel |
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Cheney: King of the Damned? |
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Restore Habeas Corpus: Then Explain It to Me |
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Ron Paul For President! |
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Ahmadinejad Denies Last Name is Long, Confusing |
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On the Road: Off the Track? |
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NEO-HIPPIES - What the Hell? |
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No Biden Bounce, Democrats Opt for Conjoined Ticket |
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ACLU Demands That Undocumented Felons be Given the Right to Vote |
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Top 10 Dictatorial Sitcoms |
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The Campaign Slogan That May Have Cost Him The Nomination |
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Science & Technology |
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Is Bathroom Technology Becoming Sentient? |
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Russian Prehistoric Lake Drilling Unleashes Zombie Plague! |
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Pink Slime Content Revealed! |
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Review of the 'Accu-Check Aviva' Glucose Monitoring System |
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Cyber Geek Accidentally Summons Virtual Demon |
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Mysterious Crap Circles: Alien Messages or Intestinal Flu? |
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Fibonacci Was a Fruit Loop |
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Existence of Snuffleupagus Questioned by Expert |
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Scientists Discover then Ostracize "God Particle" |
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Archeologists Discover Time when Earth was "One Big Party" |
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World’s Entire Fossil Record Created by One Obsessive-Compulsive Hoaxter |
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Cantaloupe Attacks More Brazen! |
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Mayans Little Known 2013 Earth-Ovum Prediction |
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Local Man is First in Nuclear Nasal Fusion |
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The Daily Discord Presents CriminalAncestry.com |
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The Faces of Math |
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Methodology of Latest Discord Study Questioned |
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Steel Reinforced "Storm Shelters" Found to be Hoax in Heartland |
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TSA Unveils New Airport Security Screening Portals |
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Tens of Thousands of Zombie Feeders Recalled |
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Siberian Alien Proven a Hoax! |
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Should I be Concerned? |
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National Safety Council to Discontinue CPR on Grounds it’s "Too Gross" |
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The 2011 Cadillac CTS-V Wagon, or Mrs. Vader Your Car is Ready |
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Bone Escalates the Invertebrate Conflict into Outright War |
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Discord Proves Apollo Conspiracy! |
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|
In Search of the "God Particle" LHC Finds Something Completely Different |
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Is Our Scientific Research Becoming too Suggestive? |
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|
Subatomic Particles Protest Outside of LHC |
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|
PETA Rebuttal: All U.S. Beef from Free-Range Cattle |
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|
Asteroids Did Kill the Dinosaurs! |
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|
Apple to Unleash the iPud |
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Wikileaks Identify Iranian Nuke Crasher as Alaskan Bull Worm |
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Massive Ice Deposits Found in Man’s Freezer |
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NASA's Startling Mono Lake Admission |
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Ghost Scooter Haunts Northern England |
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The Event Verizon: How the Military Industrial Complex Tried to Kill The Daily Discord |
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Mysterious Crap Circles Found in FarmVille! |
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FDA Approves Morning After/Roofies Combo |
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Crankin on the 2011 Hyundai Sonata, or Captain Nemo, your ride is here |
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The Bone Gang Destroys Pluto |
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Is that a Protruding Pectoral Fin, or are You Just Glad to See Me? |
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New Sierra Club Measures to Protect Non-Numanity Habitats |
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|
Toyota Finds First Clue for Recent Glitches |
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Massive Home Scrotal Defibrillator Recall! |
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Jupiter Has Success on South Belt Diet |
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NASA Probe Glitch: Scout is Spirit’s Bitch |
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Hawk V. Alien: Hawking Calls for Preemptive Attack on All Class M Planets |
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Arizona’s Crawdad Menace and Other Disturbing Observations |
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North Pole Packs Up, Moves to the Far East: Discord Discovers Cause! |
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|
Long-Term Cannabis Use Linked to Partying in Lab Rats |
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|
City’s Expansion of Zombie Addiction Clinic Questioned |
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|
|
Toyota Announces Fix for Stuck Gas Pedals and Failed Brakes |
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|
Can You Scare Me Now? |
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|
Toyota or Christine the Next Generation? |
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|
iTit Set to Perk up Winter Sales |
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|
Archeologist Dates Great Pyramid of Vegas to 1991 AD |
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|
Discord Discovers Truth Behind Mysterious Norway Cloud! |
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|
Large Hadron Collider Downed by Refried Beans |
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|
Did Darwin's Family Influence His Theory? |
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|
Moon Ambassadors Claim NASA Bomb Obliterates Daycare Center |
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H1N1 Straining Human/Cyborg Relations |
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Where DID the 21st Century Earth Republicans REALLY Go? |
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|
Lowell Observatory Discovers Really Hot Chick in Sedona |
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NASA Forges Ahead with Increasingly Suggestive Space Missions |
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|
New, Universal Scientific Unit System Unveiled |
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Specially Processed Swine Food Sparks Global Spamdemic? |
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|
Increased Logging Endangers ROUS Habitat |
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|
McDOORIS: A Very Late Rebuttal Indeed |
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|
Al-Jazeera to Broadcast New Bin Laden Videotape in HD?! |
|
|
|
The CRANK MANIFESTO: The Sheer Stupidity Of Going “Green” |
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|
Neurillogical: Why Some People Are Wrong For Soooo Long |
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|
Peter Sellers had it Right: Swine Flu 101 |
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|
The Dimming Dilemma |
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|
Ever since the private demo “incident” |
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|
Study finds nine out of ten elephant-artists actually just huffing |
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|
Marijuana Linked to Losing Sponsors |
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Attempt to Fly Texas Panhandle to Gulf Deemed ‘Abysmal Failure’ |
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|
Breaking Wind |
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The West Nile, Virus, Bird Flu, Weaponized Anthrax, and Other Things that Make You Go Hmmmm. |
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Hurricane Norbert Targeted Weather Station that Named It |
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Risk of SIDS Increasing in U.S. |
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|
Man Hastens Plastic Decomposition While Keeping Family Fed |
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|
Franco-Swiss “Research” Alliance Will Create Earth-Swallowing Black Hole! |
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|
Study Finds Obese Children at Greater Risk for Fat Jokes |
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|
Study Finds Fibromyalgia Linked to Bull Shit |
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|
Huge Stone Egg Discovered Under Notre-Dame Gargoyle |
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Pterodactyls and Thunderbirds Account for Most UFO Sightings Says Elvis Clone |
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How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Global Warming and Learned to Love the Sun |
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|
Hurricane Kills 7, Harasses 3, Before Downgrading to Tropical Storm in an Effort to Elude Police |
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Cloning of Japanese Chia Pet Condemned as ‘Abomination’ by local Sea Monkeys |
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|
Bones of Ancient "Real" Republican Unearthed |
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Virgin Contracts VD: Hailed as Immaculate Infection |
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Viagra Warns: Number of Uncontrollable Erections Set to Rise |
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|
Time Traveling Prankster Tells Aztecs the Sun Will Extinguish Without Human Blood. |
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Spirituality & Enlightenment |
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Taken Outside Cokie McGrath's Place |
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|
Verbal Charades and ADHD |
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|
The Land Speaks and We Listen... |
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Church Apologizes for Using Real Nails during Crucifixion Reenactment |
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|
Finger Puppets the Most Misunderstood of Toys |
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If I Had 325 Million Dollars: Song Sold Separately |
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Religion V. Spirituality: Hint, Religion Loses |
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|
Job Creator, Zeus, Angered with Obamacare Mandates |
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God Denies Existence of Christopher Hitchens |
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A Memorable Cranksgiving |
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Aliens Set to Invade Earth have Bagged the Idea |
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Man's Attempt to Snort the Gobi Desert Ends Poorly |
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Never Mind those Mayans... |
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Squidthulhu! |
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Ronco’s Woes Continue with Recall of Zombie Pinata |
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|
Famous Jesus Outtakes: |
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Fantasy Characters Living Through Real Apocalypses Protest Fake End of Days |
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Would be Raptured Couple "Just Having Sex" |
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God’s Tornado Rapture Weekend a Bust |
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Pope John Paul II's Body Exhumed for Beatification |
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Eden Trial WikiLeaks Dump Revelation! (Not to be Confused with Revelations) |
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|
ALIEN UPDATE: The Truth is Really Out There |
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|
God Angry with Obama for Supporting Republican Energy Views? |
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|
Pope Tells Altar Boys to "Get the Flock Out of Here" |
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|
Beer Cleansing |
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|
Canarsie Couple Resurrects Stone Age Fertility Ritual |
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|
The Prince of Darkness and the Anti-Christ! |
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|
Ghetto Shaman Threat Level Raised to Red: World Tour Over |
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|
Opinion on Over Fishing: |
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|
Seven Minutes to Last Call: The Discord Doomsday Clock |
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Massive Bird Droppings Reported In Arkansas and Louisiana |
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|
Bill and Dead’s Excellent Adventure, or that Zombie is sooo Cute |
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It’s Not "The Holiday Season": Insult Removed for Christ’s sake |
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Institutional Inhibitors to US Development: Stand Back & Embrace the Suckage |
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|
Pennsylvanian Women Swept Away by Aliens |
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|
Supreme Being Riled by Wikileaks! |
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|
Giant Ghetto Shaman Head Unearthed in Clifton! |
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Hawking Names Successor: Scientism, Cthulhu, and the Perennial Philosophy |
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|
SUCCESS! |
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|
Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Are You Going to The Ghetto Shaman's D.C. Rally Saturday? |
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|
The Ghetto Shaman: Soul Retriever or Foul Deceiver? |
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|
Ghetto Shaman Set to Take D.C. by Storm! |
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|
Serendrunkity and Drinkronicity |
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|
Discord Declares October 31st Egg a Radical Muslim Cleric Day |
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Against My Doctor and My Lawyers Advice, I Have Taken Glenn Beck's 40/40 Challenge |
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|
Is the Liberal Libido Warping Our Children? |
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|
Sage Rage: Incarceration for Dummies |
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|
Ghetto Shaman Makes "Surprise" Appearance on To Catch a Predator |
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|
Pope Delivers Henry VIII’s Annulment: Queen Anne Boleyn Resurrected in Wembley Stadium Revival |
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Discord Seeks Mob Protection from Devo |
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Devo Calling for Beheading of Discord Staff |
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Discord Threatens to Burn the Duran! |
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Parenting: Why I Stopped |
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Rev. Jones agrees to halt Koran burning… |
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|
Local Exorcism Linked to Gastritis |
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Jesus Fingers Zeus as Assailant in Police Lineup |
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Zeus Claims Responsibility for Destroying Ohio Jesus Statue |
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God Responds to Daily Discord’s "Draw Muhammad Day" Entry |
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Everybody Photoshop Muhammad Day? |
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In Honor of "Draw Muhammad Day" |
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Zeus's Balls Found in Malta |
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Heroin Addicts Protest Military’s Plan to Eradicate Opium in Afghanistan |
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Vatican to Use Harry Potter’s ‘Sorting Hat’ to Pick Next Pope |
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Jesus to be Brought Before Grand Jury in Church Abuse Case |
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In an Effort to Elude Authorities the Pope Ducks Behind this Holy Prop |
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|
Hitch-Slapping 101: Why Christopher Hitchens Should be King |
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|
To Protect Against Church Abuses... |
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|
Flappy Yeaster Everybody! |
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|
Gaffe Guru Biden Introduces a Scandal Weary Pope |
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|
Jesus Tells Obama to "Grow a Pair" |
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|
This Just In: |
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|
Fox News Alert: Five Reasons Why We Should Always Remember to Hate Homosexuals. |
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|
|
Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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|
|
Your Insistence, Fair Reader, that I’m Glum and Hopeless Makes Me Want to Shoot My Face Off |
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|
|
McMahon Replaces St. Peter! First Job: Heeeeeeere’s Michael! |
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|
The Good Opinions of Others |
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|
Archeologist Ignores Disembodied Call of Subterranean Old Ones |
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|
|
Proof of an Evolution of Consciousness? |
|
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|
Proof of Jurassic Ark? |
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|
Jurassic Ark? |
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|
Ode to Nunchaku |
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|
|
Thou Shart That? |
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|
Separation of State and Church |
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|
Easter Special Edition: Jesus Lives! |
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|
POSITION DESIRED: PRESIDENT OF THE DISCORD NATION |
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POSITION DESIRED: ADVISOR TO THE INTEGRAL WARLORD |
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|
Unemployment Compensation for Dummies |
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|
The Daily Discord’s Top 10 Survival Guide |
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|
The Horny Goat Weed Question |
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|
Discord Horoscope |
|
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|
Putting the Mental Back in Fundamentalism |
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|
Rethinking Traditionalism or Putting the ‘Fun’ Back Into Fundamentalism |
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|
Hitch is Not Great: How Rationalists Are Wrong About One Thing |
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|
A Brief History of Anything |
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|
Top 10 things I learned at college |
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|
Burger King Mascot Linked to Night Terrors in Children |
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|
Jesus’ Agenda Found! |
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|
Enter the Ghetto Shaman |
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|
|
Who’s Looking Out for “True”? |
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|
Sexism, Paganism and the Lost Gospel of Moe |
|
|
Sports |
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|
Garbage Basketball a Lost Art for One Man |
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|
Go Coyotes! No, Really...You Can Move to Seattle |
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|
Uh Oh, Tebow's Getting Weird |
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Winnipeg Wilderness Wipes out Warm Weather Wussies |
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|
Jimmy Makes a Fatal Mistake |
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NHL Charges Goaltender for 3rd Intermission Zamboni Fuel |
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|
Flames/Oilers Hockey Check Causes Deadly Explosion |
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|
N.F.L./R.I.P. |
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|
Super Game XXVIIV |
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Crank on the Super Bowl |
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Vince Shlomi of ShamWow Fame’s Infomercial Mix Up |
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Discord’s Pierce Winslow Bids to Buy Phoenix Coyotes |
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Kobe Bryant to Announce Location of Next Planned Sexual Assault in One-Hour Special Announcement |
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Sex Addiction Classes Fail |
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Being the Worst NHL Fans Year after Year |
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Putin Blames Russia’s Poor Olympic Performance on Global Warming |
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U.S. National Park Service: Canada Sold to Exxon Mobile |
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X-Men Mutants Banned from Winter Olympics |
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They’re Calling it Arson… |
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With the Shaman, The Ghetto Shaman... |
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Super Bowl Ads Unaffordable: CBS to Replay Footage of Janet Jackson’s Breast |
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All Hail Tiger Woods |
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PETA Condemns Discord’s Latest Grudge Match |
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If a Woods Drives into a Tree with Nobody Around to Recount It, Does It Make a Sound? |
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Wayne Gretzky Goes from the Great One to the Late One: Calls it Quits without Actually Calling |
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Eagles Sign Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme to 5-year Deal |
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Yankees Acquire O’Liberte’ |
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$28.00 |
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Top Ten Failed Football Mascots |
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Weird & Haunted Travel |
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Apparently, Two Beers and a Free Meal = $48.50 |
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Flagstaff’s Brew Ha-Ha Gets the Last Laugh |
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Oklahoma Town Baffled by Lack of Tourism |
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The Haunted Weatherford and the Yahtzee Séance |
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Hiking Sedona: The Do’s and the...well, just the Don’ts |
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Chinatown Vegas: You Go Now! |
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Top 10: The Best Guinness in Las Vegas Revealed! |
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Vegas San Gennaro: Leave the Feast, Take the Cannoli |
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Made in the Shade Brew Fest: Bring Sunscreen |
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Sedona’s Red Rock Café…BWTF? |
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Holy Rollercoaster, Batman! |
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And now for Something Completely Celtic |
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Celtic Crossings: Best Guinness Pour in AZ |
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The View from My Guinness: A Stout Pours in Sedona |
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ATVs: A-hole Trashy Victimizers and Why I Hate Them |
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Viva Lost Coverage: Zano’s Vegas Coverage Fiasco |
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The Discord’s Para Abnormal Research Team vs. Haunted Jerome |
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License to Craw |
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Flagstaff’s Big Red Poor |
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Stout and Java: the Next PB&J? |
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The Heart Attack Grill Charged with Assisted Suicide: No Charge, Cash Only |
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Porn Free: One Cabby’s Vegas Tail |
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Bighoot and the Owl People |
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Hey, Bed, Bath & Beyond Bull Shit, Stick that Ergonomic Gravy-Separator Up Yer… |
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Beer and Frothing in Las Vegas |
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The Danger and Intrigue of Live Girl Billboards: Turning Road Rage into Road Raging Hard Ons |
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An American Werewolf at Zeta |
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Tomorrow Bissua Edouardo Rides His Last Bull, or Not |
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The Bucks County Badlands: Haunted Pennsylvania |
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Area 51: The Undiscovered Country |
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Ghost Writers in the Sand |
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Flagstaff’s Infamous Monte Vista Hotel |
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The Ghosts of Brewers Past: Philly’s General Lafayette Inn |
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Haunted Gettysburg |
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America’s Stonehenge: Intrigue, Mystery and Closet Space |
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P.U.B.B. (Poets United for a Better Barroom) |
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Plight of the Phoenix: How I Stopped Worrying About On-Coming Traffic and Learned to Love the Valley |
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Losing Pub Friends in the Starbuckarama (Rebuttal) |
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Losing Pub Friends in the Starbuckarama |
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Hope Wanes of Ever Finding Amelia Earhart Alive |
| Contributors |
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Alex Bone |
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The Discord’s Wilderness Survival Quiz |
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America’s Newest Trend: Anti-life Coaching |
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The Discord Staff Pledges to Binge Drink this Saint Patrick’s Day |
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Winslow Removes the Discord ‘Casting Couch’ from Zano’s Office |
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Gripe of Frankenstein: Declining Popularity Forces Monster into Therapy |
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Author Michael Griffiths' 'Zombie Christmas Story' Rejected for Lack of Gore. |
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Horror Author Michael D. Griffiths a Zombie? |
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Aliens Set to Invade Earth have Bagged the Idea |
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U.S. Border Fence with Mexico Replaced with Banana Peels |
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Cthulhu Officially Endorses Palin |
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Life Impaired Protest Ends In Violence |
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Fantasy Characters Living Through Real Apocalypses Protest Fake End of Days |
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Bone Escalates the Invertebrate Conflict into Outright War |
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Beer Cleansing |
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ATVs: A-hole Trashy Victimizers and Why I Hate Them |
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Bill and Dead’s Excellent Adventure, or that Zombie is sooo Cute |
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Al Gore , Men In Green, and the HARP that will Destroy Earth! |
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Jack Primus, The Ghetto Shaman, and All the Chicken Wings they could Rally |
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Sage Rage: Incarceration for Dummies |
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License to Craw |
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The Bone Gang Destroys Pluto |
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Arizona Adds Social Site Addiction to Statewide Recovery Programs |
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Arizona’s Crawdad Menace and Other Disturbing Observations |
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My Dreams Down the Twitter: Yet Another Daily Discord Lawsuit |
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The Crotch Bomber Kid |
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Fox News Alert: Five Reasons Why We Should Always Remember to Hate Homosexuals. |
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Trend Rending |
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Andre Gadner |
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Those Libertarian Blues |
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Art Fenski |
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Ms. Cretin USA Pageant 2010 a Dead Heat! |
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Libertarians Anonymous: Breaking with the Tea Parties, Texas Tea, and All Things Lipton |
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Texas Twits Twist Textbook Theme |
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Cooking for Naked People |
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Bald Tony |
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Chinatown Vegas: You Go Now! |
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Vegas San Gennaro: Leave the Feast, Take the Cannoli |
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Another One Bites the Dust |
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And now for Something Completely Celtic |
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The First Rule of Pizza Club is Don’t Talk About Pizza Club |
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Flagstaff’s Big Red Poor |
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The Heart Attack Grill Charged with Assisted Suicide: No Charge, Cash Only |
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Porn Free: One Cabby’s Vegas Tail |
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The Danger and Intrigue of Live Girl Billboards: Turning Road Rage into Road Raging Hard Ons |
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Area 51: The Undiscovered Country |
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Ghost Writers in the Sand |
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Cokie McGrath |
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Alex Bone: Arizona’s New Homelessness Advocate |
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Life Coach Cokie |
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Life Coach Cokie |
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Life Coach Cokie: On Social Site Bombing |
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Dave Atsals |
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Sarkozy Bitten by Werewolf! |
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Apparently, Two Beers and a Free Meal = $48.50 |
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Did Romney Pander to Vegas Voters? |
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Uh Oh, Tebow's Getting Weird |
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There Ain’t No Church on Fire Tower Road |
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We are Discord! |
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Cantaloupe Attacks More Brazen! |
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Palin Not Running: Prefers to be "an Outsider" |
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Mayans Little Known 2013 Earth-Ovum Prediction |
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"You've Got a Friend in Cheez-it" Campaign Causes Controversy |
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Bed Bugs on the Rise? |
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Holiday Inn? How about Holiday Out |
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Shop VoldeMart! |
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Methodology of Latest Discord Study Questioned |
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Etch A Scotch |
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Jimmy Makes a Fatal Mistake |
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On Closer Inspection, Maybe the Birthers were Right! |
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I’m Running for President! |
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Pakistanis Are Furious Beiber not Appearing in Islamabad |
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Critics Accuse NRA of Marketing to Children |
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Wikileaks Identify Iranian Nuke Crasher as Alaskan Bull Worm |
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Pennsylvanian Women Swept Away by Aliens |
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Cobra Sucks: or why at 42 I want Obamacare to Allow Me Back on My Parent’s Insurance |
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Serendrunkity and Drinkronicity |
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Guess the Ghetto Shaman's Last Bail Total and Win a Trip to Vegas with the Discord Gang! |
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Sure One Mosque at Ground Zero is Controversial, but a Pair... |
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Latest BP Footage Shows New Well Cap Working |
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Toyota Finds First Clue for Recent Glitches |
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The Tea Party Deciphered |
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Breaking Sharia Law with Style! |
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The Ballad of Lizzie Board’em |
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Proctologist Fingered in Police Lineup |
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Gaffe Guru Biden Introduces a Scandal Weary Pope |
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Sea World Audience Fails to Identify Trainer's Killer in Police Lineup |
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Cameron's Premiere of Discord in 3D Flops |
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Southwest to Accommodate Kevin Smith |
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Free Speech for Those who Can Afford It |
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Are Nashville Predator Drones Killing too Many Civilians? |
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X-Men Mutants Banned from Winter Olympics |
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Obama Fights Soft Image by Releasing Guantanamo Detainees… |
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With the Shaman, The Ghetto Shaman... |
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All Hail Tiger Woods |
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Discord Discovers Real Reason Lou Dobbs Left CNN! |
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Apes, Shamans, and Atsals on Health Care |
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Werewolf Caught Drinking Pina Coladas at Trader Vics: Obama Vows to send the Envoy |
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My Facebook Needs a Face Lift |
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Very Dated Discord (the Cock Dilemma) |
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The Daily Discord: 2009 An Editing Odyssey |
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POSITION DESIRED: PRESIDENT OF THE DISCORD NATION |
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Unemployment Compensation for Dummies |
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$28.00 |
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The House Divided |
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My Flip Flop Reversal |
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Hillary Names Running Mate |
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Losing Pub Friends in the Starbuckarama (Rebuttal) |
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Erisa Brahe |
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Russian Prehistoric Lake Drilling Unleashes Zombie Plague! |
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Ertel |
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If I Had 325 Million Dollars: Song Sold Separately |
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"Did Santa Just Hit On Mommy?" The Department Store Confidential |
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Rise of the Archeostorageunitologist |
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L. Wolfe |
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TSA Unveils New Airport Security Screening Portals |
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Discord Proves Apollo Conspiracy! |
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PETA Rebuttal: All U.S. Beef from Free-Range Cattle |
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Christmas No Mas: or How the Crank Saved Christmas |
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Discord to Flush All Toilet Humor |
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Is the Liberal Libido Warping Our Children? |
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Earth is Flat Museum Opens in Kentucky! |
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Daily Discord Featured in Major Nouveau Avante Garde Magazine! |
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Hung, Beaten, Impaled Iranian Nuclear Scientist’s Death Deemed Suicide |
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Study Suggests a Dark Coloring Prejudice in America |
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Jupiter Has Success on South Belt Diet |
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U.S. Coast Guard Releases Image of Oil Spill Response Efforts |
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Serious Solutions Sought for Sesame Street's Social Slide |
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North Pole Packs Up, Moves to the Far East: Discord Discovers Cause! |
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Discord at the Discord: or, Why as a Contributor I’ve Resorted to Death Threats and Violence |
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Large Hadron Collider Downed by Refried Beans |
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New Federal Healthcare Insurance Policies Only Benefit Klingons, Siamese Twins, and Earthworms |
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New, Universal Scientific Unit System Unveiled |
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Peter Sellers had it Right: Swine Flu 101 |
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The Dimming Dilemma |
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Breaking Wind |
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The West Nile, Virus, Bird Flu, Weaponized Anthrax, and Other Things that Make You Go Hmmmm. |
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Franco-Swiss “Research” Alliance Will Create Earth-Swallowing Black Hole! |
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How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Global Warming and Learned to Love the Sun |
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Mick Zano |
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2012: A Space Case Odyssey |
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Go Coyotes! No, Really...You Can Move to Seattle |
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The Land Speaks and We Listen... |
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Kirkpatrick/Zano: The Interview |
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Krauthammer V Zano: The Hawk-Spank Redemption |
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Discord Dissident Disses the Debt Deal Debacle |
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Republicans Speak from Two Places, Ideology or Their Asses |
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Religion V. Spirituality: Hint, Religion Loses |
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Flagstaff’s Brew Ha-Ha Gets the Last Laugh |
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The Liz Cheney Interview: Brought to You by the Makers of Nexium |
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Live Blogging the Movie Twilight: Now I Know Why I Hate Anne Rice |
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Megyn Kelly vs Andrew Sullivan: Reality vs the Neococoon |
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Does the Colbert Surge Mark the End for America? |
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The Taliban, the Hawks and the Biden "Gaffe" |
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I Must Retract an Old Retraction as we Retract from Iraq |
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The Alan Colmes of Facebook and the Comment Thread from Hell |
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Save Some Real Money Supercomittee, Weed the People! |
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Stunning Volcano Spews Hot Air and Lava Miles into the Air |
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Entitled Occupiers, Sociopaths, and those "Free Market" Slaves |
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The Haunted Weatherford and the Yahtzee Séance |
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Hiking Sedona: The Do’s and the...well, just the Don’ts |
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The Shit Heard Round the World |
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Chris Christie’s Speech: Revisionist History or Just Plain Bullshit? You Decide |
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Top 10: The Best Guinness in Las Vegas Revealed! |
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Live-Blogging the Republican Debate on Opiates |
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The Goonification of Lovecraft: Why Universal Pictures is Dead to Me |
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Rent-a-Center...I Think We Should See Other People |
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You Say You Want a Revolution? |
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Damn, I still Hate Facebook |
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Harry Potter: Ten Years I’ll Never Get Back |
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Ill-Informed Citizens Unite, form of Tea Bag |
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Clemency for Clemens? Why Lying to a Politician Should Not Only Be Legal But Encouraged |
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The Crank Redeemed! Everything in my Last Post was Liberal Propaganda |
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In a Perfect World... |
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No Negotiating with Teabaggerists! |
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Made in the Shade Brew Fest: Bring Sunscreen |
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Climate Change, Global Weirding, and the Universally Wrong |
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Spendthra VS. Cutzilla: Battle for Earth |
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Sedona’s Red Rock Café…BWTF? |
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The Debate We Should be Having: Why My "No Foxeeter Left Behind Program" is Failing |
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The Economy: $ome Ea$y $olution$ that Can’t Po$$ibly Work |
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Holy Rollercoaster, Batman! |
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The Discord Exclusive Sean Hannity/Mick Zano Interview! |
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Celtic Crossings: Best Guinness Pour in AZ |
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Why I Despise Netflix and Want My Old Video Store Back |
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Never Mind that Shit, Here Comes Mongo! |
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The View from My Guinness: A Stout Pours in Sedona |
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Libya: Two Special Comments, Three Special Swear Words |
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Sheen Weaver: The Discord is Just Wild about Charlie |
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The Case for Obama’s Impeachment |
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There are No Heroes: Pox on Both Yer Budgets! |
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What Are You so Damn Proud of Real America? |
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Super Game XXVIIV |
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Rocksongs.com Top 500 and Why I am Involving a Lawyer |
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Welcome to My Nightmare: I was a Teenage Barbizon Parent |
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Attack of the Barbizons: Everyone Gets a Trophy, I get a Bill |
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A 2010 Zano-Style Rebuttal |
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The X-Box 360: The Truth is in There |
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Hooping for Homos: Don’t Ask, Don’t…Just Don’t Ask |
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Why I Still Hate Phil Collins and Other Musical Observations |
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In Defense of Our 44th President |
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Dueling Youtubes |
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Hawking Names Successor: Scientism, Cthulhu, and the Perennial Philosophy |
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Apparently Only Five People Interested in Restoring Sanity in Arizona |
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Another Unnecessary Scathing Personal Attack on Pernick |
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Fox on Both Your Houses: The Green Meanies and Patriotic Pinheads Deciphered |
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Fox News & the Tea Party: Sometimes There Isn’t Safety in Numbers |
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CNN: It Isn’t Just For Blitzer Anymore |
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The Terrorists Win the War on Terror: Film at 11 |
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Parenting: Why I Stopped |
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I’m Sure You Made a Valid Point Somewhere, Crank: We Have People Working on It Now |
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The Discord’s Para Abnormal Research Team vs. Haunted Jerome |
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Mosque of the Red Death: Fundamentalism, Tribalism and the Fighting Foxeteers |
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Boomeritis, College Trials, and the Infamous Starburst Incident |
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The Hollywood Ending and Other Insightful Film Observations |
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OK, Crank, I’ll Stop Bitching: After this One Last Time |
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Funny Thing, but Breaking Something Called the Justice Department Might Have Consequences for, er…Justice |
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Top 10 Reasons I Hate Top 10 Lists |
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The Subliminal Mind Fuck America |
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The Début of The Chronicles of Jack Primus, or Zombie and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance |
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Screw You and the Deficit You Rode in On (a Zano Rant: Part Deux) |
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Bush, the Tea Party, and Fiscal Conservatism for Dummies |
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Send Brewer, Guns, and Money |
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Stout and Java: the Next PB&J? |
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Does America Need an Integral, Yet Raging, Nougat-Filled Center? |
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Hitch-Slapping 101: Why Christopher Hitchens Should be King |
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Dr. Obamacare: or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Healthcare Bill |
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Voter Victimization: How Do I Know When My Political Party is Abusive and Controlling? |
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Nosferatu Rushed to St. Vincent’s |
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Clash of Civilizations? |
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They’re Calling it Arson… |
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The Transcosmetic Party: No. We Don’t Necessarily Wear Dresses |
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The Double Dip Recession and the Obama Illusion |
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The Daily Discord: Breaking Down News into Tiny Shards of Sensationalism |
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Bighoot and the Owl People |
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Hey, Bed, Bath & Beyond Bull Shit, Stick that Ergonomic Gravy-Separator Up Yer… |
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Beer and Frothing in Las Vegas |
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I’ll Show You My Twitter if You’ll Sit on My Facebook |
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It Might Not Happen Tomorrow: So Keep On Polluting |
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Burger King: Just Out of Touch with America or Socialist Cheese Oppressing Nazis? |
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Zano’s Real Fox News Blogathon: Why My Wife Insists I Switch Back to Porn (Part 1) |
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An American Werewolf at Zeta |
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Let’s Make Sure This Never Happens Again by Making Another Shitty Law |
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Tomorrow Bissua Edouardo Rides His Last Bull, or Not |
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My First Impression of Joining Facebook |
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Healthcare: A Broken System Almost as Bad as Depicted by Michael Moore |
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Will the Real Conservatives Please Stand Up: At Least the Ones Who Are Medically Safe to Do So |
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Spirographic Dianetics and the Evolution of Consciousness |
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Universal What Care? Once More unto the Crank, Dear Friends |
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Obamacare: Is the Public Option Really a Pain in the Privates? |
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Your Insistence, Fair Reader, that I’m Glum and Hopeless Makes Me Want to Shoot My Face Off |
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The Patriotard Menace: A Crank Rebuttal |
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The Bucks County Badlands: Haunted Pennsylvania |
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Earth to All Patriotards |
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Why I am Staying in the U.S. and Resolved to Eat Bugs |
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Discord Designates Cheney Enemy Combatant |
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Amurican Education and that Bitch Kimmy Grenawitz |
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Torture: It’s Not Just for Gitmo Anymore |
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What is the Southwest’s Fascination with Jerky and Will They Get Over It? |
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How Science Fiction Lost Its Soul and How We Can Beam It Back |
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Neurillogical: Why Some People Are Wrong For Soooo Long |
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Hey, Joe, Where You Going With My Gun in Your Hand? |
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Revolution is in the Err: Bachman Boehner Overdrive |
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Why I Am Protesting All Protests and Finally Turning off Cable News |
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We Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: Paranoia and Secret Societies |
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Obama’s Hate Speech |
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The Horny Goat Weed Question |
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Integral Men Are Real Men: Cranken Revisited |
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A Stimulating Conversation with Fox: I Got Your Package Right Here |
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Ghost Writers in the Sand |
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SpankenCranken |
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|
Flagstaff’s Infamous Monte Vista Hotel |
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The Ghosts of Brewers Past: Philly’s General Lafayette Inn |
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Putting the Mental Back in Fundamentalism |
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Help, I Accidentally Turned on Hannity’s America Last Week! |
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Hitch is Not Great: How Rationalists Are Wrong About One Thing |
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Haunted Gettysburg |
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Thus Spake Zanothustra |
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Mawiage, Mawiage, that Dweam Within a Dweam |
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A Brief History of Anything |
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Spiral Dynamics and American Politics |
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Congressman Paul Broun: I Call You Out, You Civics Class Dropout Douchebag! |
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Al-Qaeda: Mission Accomplished |
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Much Discord in Blamesylvania |
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Today’s Worst Liberal in the World |
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Bush, Fascism, and the Other ‘N’ Word |
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Obama’s Campaign for Change is Every Beggar’s Dream |
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A Recent Email Exchange Between Barak Obama and the Discord’s Own, Mick Zano |
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The Once and Future Nepotist |
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Losing Pub Friends in the Starbuckarama |
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Band of Klingons Ruin Local Civil War Reenactment |
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Pterodactyls and Thunderbirds Account for Most UFO Sightings Says Elvis Clone |
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Hurricane Kills 7, Harasses 3, Before Downgrading to Tropical Storm in an Effort to Elude Police |
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Who’s Looking Out for “True”? |
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Palin Faces Ethics Panel |
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Cheney: King of the Damned? |
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Restore Habeas Corpus: Then Explain It to Me |
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On the Road: Off the Track? |
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Sexism, Paganism and the Lost Gospel of Moe |
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Viagra Warns: Number of Uncontrollable Erections Set to Rise |
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Hope Wanes of Ever Finding Amelia Earhart Alive |
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Time Traveling Prankster Tells Aztecs the Sun Will Extinguish Without Human Blood. |
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Nancy Mickwick |
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America’s Stonehenge: Intrigue, Mystery and Closet Space |
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Oscar Fogg |
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Barak Obama: You Mean I’m Going to Stay this Color? |
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The Sir Woody Chronicles |
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Pierce Winslow |
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Vetting Process Not Going Well for Christie |
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Obama Dispatches Enterprise to Persian Gulf... |
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Secretaryian Violence Increases in Syria |
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Cheney's Doctor Speaks Out on His Controversial Operation |
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Santorum? No. No, we haven't seen him |
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2012: The Choice between Smart Unconstitutional Power, or Incompetent Unconstitutional Power |
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Actually, This is When the North Koreans Started Crying |
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How (and What) Does Santa Know? |
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Where is the Supercommittee Now? |
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Cain-Burns 2012 |
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A Story of One Man's Incompetence...and Incontinence |
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Pierce Pissed About Private Pool Putzes |
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Today's Conservative "Thought"... |
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Siberian Alien Proven a Hoax! |
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Burger King Mascot Fails in Libya |
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Mattel to Introduce Moose Murder Barbie! |
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Decision 2012, The New Face of Roulette |
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Viva Lost Coverage: Zano’s Vegas Coverage Fiasco |
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Ghetto Shaman Makes "Surprise" Appearance on To Catch a Predator |
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Bush Forever Cements Legacy by Forfeiting Heisman Trophy |
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The Terrorists Win the War on Terror: Film at 11 |
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The Event Verizon: How the Military Industrial Complex Tried to Kill The Daily Discord |
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Mysterious Crap Circles Found in FarmVille! |
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Source of Iowa Egg Salmonella Outbreak Discovered |
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The ShamWhite |
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Janet Jackson Brings Wardrobe Malfunction to a Whole New Level |
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Wanted: The Daily Discord Administrator Who Posted the Following Plug on Facebook |
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Thomas Suggests Controversial Discord Contributor Relocate to Poland! |
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New Sierra Club Measures to Protect Non-Numanity Habitats |
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In Honor of "Draw Muhammad Day" |
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Google Graphic Chafes Chinese Charge |
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Lohan Sues E*Trade over "Milkaholic Linsday" Remark |
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Discord's CEO Flies Plane into FarmVille |
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Winslow in Rehab; Six Days Off the Farm |
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Tactics to Draw Out Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan Questioned |
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Toyota or Christine the Next Generation? |
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Report Suggests Military Missed Signs Fort Hood Shootist was Radicalized |
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Reid Walks on the Wild Side, Steps in Shit |
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The Two Towers |
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PETA Condemns Discord’s Latest Grudge Match |
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John + Kate + 8 + Psychotic Bimbo - John - $230K – Show + Burglary = Who Gives a Flying Fuck? |
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You Can Get Up Now Mr. Stowie. They're Onto Us. |
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I'd Rather Be Crank Boarding |
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BOY! I Say, I Say BOY! |
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Michael Jackson Is Still Dead, for Now |
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Ode to Nunchaku |
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Separation of State and Church |
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Romer Picked to Head Economic Advisory Council |
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Presidential Pet Pick Perturbs PETW |
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2008 Election: Redneck Reaction |
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Republicans, Democrats to Swap Symbology |
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Betty Ford |
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Beano Lethal Weapon |
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No Biden Bounce, Democrats Opt for Conjoined Ticket |
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Pokey McDooris |
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Institutional Inhibitors to US Development: Stand Back & Embrace the Suckage |
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Cultural Facilitation for Dummies |
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The Good Opinions of Others |
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The Transcosmetic Party: Evolve or Dissolve |
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POSITION DESIRED: ADVISOR TO THE INTEGRAL WARLORD |
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Institutional Inhibitors to National Development (Besides the Discord) |
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DON’T CALL ME I’LL CALL YOU |
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The Audacity of, "Nope" |
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Fear And Loathing With Mr. Giggles |
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The Articles Of Degeneration |
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Rethinking Traditionalism or Putting the ‘Fun’ Back Into Fundamentalism |
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Gay Marriage Rebutthole |
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MICHAEL SAVAGE - Fight For Your Rights |
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Fear And Loathing With Mr. Giggles |
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Objective Blame vs. Qualitative Responsibility: The Blamesylvania Rebuttal |
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P.U.B.B. (Poets United for a Better Barroom) |
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Pubs Vs. Clubs: The Case Against a Woman’s Right to Vote |
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RUSH LIMBAUGH: Step It Up, Bitch |
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Enter the Ghetto Shaman |
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Springtime for Wilber? |
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Toward an Elightened Media |
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Sexism, Paganism and the Lost Gospel of Moe |
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NEO-HIPPIES - What the Hell? |
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ACLU Demands That Undocumented Felons be Given the Right to Vote |
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Rick Right Pernick |
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Midterms Looming: Will Republicans Stop the Budgetary Madness? |
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Goodstock: Three Months of Jobs, Growth, and Prosperity has Died |
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From My Cold Dead Amendments: Thomas Was Wrong to Invoke the 14th in Support of the 2nd Amendment |
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Is Barack Obama a Textbook Case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder? |
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Obama Vying for Government Control over Financial Markets and Hookers |
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The Truth about Liberal Lies |
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Praising Arizona |
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The Death Book Resurrection by Messiah Obama |
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Free Speech for Those who Can Afford It: An Informed Rebuttal |
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Obama Just Needs a 9/11 Moment to Unite Country Behind His Agenda |
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Brady Campaign Seeks to Disarm Military to Stop Gun Violence |
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Rick (I’m) Right (Dave You're Wrong) Pernick |
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Happy Constitution Day! |
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Obama Science Czar Holdren Calls for Forced Abortions |
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Sarah Angelfire |
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ALIEN UPDATE: The Truth is Really Out There |
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R.U.S.H: Reptilian Ultra Sapient Hybrids? |
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One Flew Safely from the Cuckoo's Nest |
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Sean Kelsey |
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BP Spends 1.3 Billion on Oil Gusher Video Makeover |
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Being the Worst NHL Fans Year after Year |
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You Shall Not Pass!!!! |
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Try Stealing This One American Digest! |
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Did Darwin's Family Influence His Theory? |
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Parachuting from Responsibility to Profit |
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I Don't Care What You Do to Me... |
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Obama Appoints Burger King Mascot as Petty Dictator Czar |
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Obama Claims Dealing with Iran is Not Difficult |
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Maersk Line's Answer to Somali Pirates |
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Kiester Island |
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Risk of SIDS Increasing in U.S. |
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When All Else Fails, Joe Walsh For President |
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Corporate Execs Earn Their Bonuses |
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The Crank |
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Verbal Charades and ADHD |
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Oh My, You’ve Lost Some Weight! |
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The Lottery as an Investment Strategy |
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Seattle Five-O: Post ‘em, Zano |
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Sticks and Groans May Break My Balls |
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Good Healthcare & Phoenix: Mutually Exclusive Terms |
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GOP: You’re Squandering an Opportunity More Golden than Trump Friggin’ Towers! |
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Review of the 'Accu-Check Aviva' Glucose Monitoring System |
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Nothing Golden Can Stay: Farewell Hostess with the Mostess |
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Discord’s Word of the Day: Googootz! |
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2011 The Discord’s Person of the Year |
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Stick to Writing Jokes, Mikko: The Zano Rebuttal Rides Again |
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A Memorable Cranksgiving |
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Watching the Recording Industry Shit on Me since the F-ing 60s |
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How You Lakka Me Now? Noticio to All Fiat S.P.A. Shareholders |
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Geographical Answers to Global Problems |
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RIP My Little Bundle of Nuclear Joy |
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I Said I Wasn’t Going to Read Zano’s Post, But, Alas, I Did |
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Planting the Seeds of Discord and Unintended Consequences |
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Old Singers & 9/11 Don’t Mix |
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Searching for New Investors: The Blues Mobiles are Dead |
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He Rode a Blazing Deficit |
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Arizona’s Asphalt Jungle: why the City of Glendale can stick its Corrugated Drainpipe up its own Drainpipe |
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Scientists Lied, Camels Died |
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Happy Crankipendence Day: for those who Give a Shit |
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Hey, Mikko, Stop Blowing Wind up My Ass |
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The Last Supper: Progressive Thought and Reverse Peristalsis |
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Dateline: Saturday May 21st 6:00PM: World Ends |
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Crankin' from Long Island to Arizona |
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The 2011 Cadillac CTS-V Wagon, or Mrs. Vader Your Car is Ready |
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Crankin’ Up a Shutdown |
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N.F.L./R.I.P. |
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I’m Waving the Cranky White Towel of Disgust |
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Crank on the Super Bowl |
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A Cranky Morning in New York |
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A 2010 Crank-Style Recap |
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It’s Not "The Holiday Season": Insult Removed for Christ’s sake |
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The Black Calling the Kettle Pot: or Something Like Fat |
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Debate is the Death of Conversation: Especially with You! |
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Don’t Tell Me ‘bout Racism, I’m a $@#% Beige Gorilla! |
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One More Time…with Feeling! A Zano Rebuttal |
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Dear Mick Zano: You’re fired |
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Interview with the Zanpire |
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Cranking on the Border |
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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Protest |
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Greece is the Word |
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Dumb and Hummer |
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It’s All Over But for the Funeral and for that I Am Sad |
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Mick Zano: Dip 3 |
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A Mikky-Twoshits Rebuttal |
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Cadillac CTS-V: All that’s Wrong with the World? |
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The Great Crank Hunter |
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An Open Letter to Ed "Erectile Dysfunction" Whiteacre, Chairman of GM |
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Happy Cranksgiving: Hey Congress, How ‘Bout a Reach Around? |
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Zano You Ignorant Slut (Remember SNL, Kids?) |
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Worse than Carter? |
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A Change I Can Bereave In |
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Holy Crap, Mick: Spirogyra and the Integral Blowfish? |
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Government GPS Proposed in All Cars: You Have Exceeded Legal Mileage Limit RETURN HOME NOW |
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Where DID the 21st Century Earth Republicans REALLY Go? |
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Hey Mick? You Win the Lottery? |
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Sarah Palin: The New Frau Blücher! NEEEHeeHeheeheeeheh |
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Earth To Mick: Can You Hear Me Now? |
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Cranking On Gadner |
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An Open Letter To Whomever The Fuck Is Going To Actually Be “IN CHARGE” Of The “NEW” General Motors |
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A Letter to Sergio Marchionne: Thoughts of Chrysler’s Future from an American Guido Car Guy (AG/CG) |
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McDOORIS: A Very Late Rebuttal Indeed |
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The CRANK MANIFESTO: The Sheer Stupidity Of Going “Green” |
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California Cranken |
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So Long My Friend; Real Men Will Miss You |
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Mikko, Mikko, Mikko |
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The Crank Manifesto: On Hannity & Zano, a Match Made in Heaven! |
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THE CRANK MANIFESTO: On Al Cranken and Minnesota Politics |
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THE CRANK MANIFESTO: The Zano Rebuttal |
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THE CRANK MANIFESTO: Get a Life Zano! |
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CRANK MANIFESTO On Driving and Cars |
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Plight of the Phoenix: How I Stopped Worrying About On-Coming Traffic and Learned to Love the Valley |
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The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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The Librarian |
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Onward Christian Actors |
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You Show Me Your Birth Certificate If You Want to See Mine |
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Mission to Be Accomplished for Real |
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Tea Party Chooses Hypocrisy over Religiosity |
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Ad 250x250 |
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Four Flags |
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Buddhist Geeks |
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Beano |
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Betty Ford Center |
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Dick Cheyney |
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Join the Navy |
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The Chronicles of Jack Primus Book 1 |
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Advice Column |
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Ask The Ghetto Shaman |
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Life Coach Cokie |
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Life Coach Cokie |
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Life Coach Cokie: On Social Site Bombing |
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Article |
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Verbal Charades and ADHD |
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2012: A Space Case Odyssey |
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The Discord’s Wilderness Survival Quiz |
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Russian Prehistoric Lake Drilling Unleashes Zombie Plague! |
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Oh My, You’ve Lost Some Weight! |
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Go Coyotes! No, Really...You Can Move to Seattle |
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Kirkpatrick/Zano: The Interview |
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The Lottery as an Investment Strategy |
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Seattle Five-O: Post ‘em, Zano |
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Krauthammer V Zano: The Hawk-Spank Redemption |
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America’s Newest Trend: Anti-life Coaching |
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Onward Christian Actors |
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Discord Dissident Disses the Debt Deal Debacle |
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Sticks and Groans May Break My Balls |
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Apparently, Two Beers and a Free Meal = $48.50 |
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The Discord Staff Pledges to Binge Drink this Saint Patrick’s Day |
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Good Healthcare & Phoenix: Mutually Exclusive Terms |
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Republicans Speak from Two Places, Ideology or Their Asses |
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GOP: You’re Squandering an Opportunity More Golden than Trump Friggin’ Towers! |
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If I Had 325 Million Dollars: Song Sold Separately |
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Religion V. Spirituality: Hint, Religion Loses |
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Review of the 'Accu-Check Aviva' Glucose Monitoring System |
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Flagstaff’s Brew Ha-Ha Gets the Last Laugh |
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You Show Me Your Birth Certificate If You Want to See Mine |
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The Liz Cheney Interview: Brought to You by the Makers of Nexium |
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Alex Bone: Arizona’s New Homelessness Advocate |
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Nothing Golden Can Stay: Farewell Hostess with the Mostess |
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Live Blogging the Movie Twilight: Now I Know Why I Hate Anne Rice |
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Discord’s Word of the Day: Googootz! |
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Megyn Kelly vs Andrew Sullivan: Reality vs the Neococoon |
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Does the Colbert Surge Mark the End for America? |
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Winslow Removes the Discord ‘Casting Couch’ from Zano’s Office |
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2011 The Discord’s Person of the Year |
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Stick to Writing Jokes, Mikko: The Zano Rebuttal Rides Again |
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The Taliban, the Hawks and the Biden "Gaffe" |
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Gripe of Frankenstein: Declining Popularity Forces Monster into Therapy |
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I Must Retract an Old Retraction as we Retract from Iraq |
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Author Michael Griffiths' 'Zombie Christmas Story' Rejected for Lack of Gore. |
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How (and What) Does Santa Know? |
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"Did Santa Just Hit On Mommy?" The Department Store Confidential |
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A Memorable Cranksgiving |
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The Alan Colmes of Facebook and the Comment Thread from Hell |
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Horror Author Michael D. Griffiths a Zombie? |
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Watching the Recording Industry Shit on Me since the F-ing 60s |
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How You Lakka Me Now? Noticio to All Fiat S.P.A. Shareholders |
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Save Some Real Money Supercomittee, Weed the People! |
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There Ain’t No Church on Fire Tower Road |
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Geographical Answers to Global Problems |
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Entitled Occupiers, Sociopaths, and those "Free Market" Slaves |
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Mission to Be Accomplished for Real |
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RIP My Little Bundle of Nuclear Joy |
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The Haunted Weatherford and the Yahtzee Séance |
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Aliens Set to Invade Earth have Bagged the Idea |
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Rise of the Archeostorageunitologist |
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Hiking Sedona: The Do’s and the...well, just the Don’ts |
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Tea Party Chooses Hypocrisy over Religiosity |
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I Said I Wasn’t Going to Read Zano’s Post, But, Alas, I Did |
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The Shit Heard Round the World |
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Planting the Seeds of Discord and Unintended Consequences |
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Chinatown Vegas: You Go Now! |
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Chris Christie’s Speech: Revisionist History or Just Plain Bullshit? You Decide |
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Old Singers & 9/11 Don’t Mix |
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Top 10: The Best Guinness in Las Vegas Revealed! |
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Vegas San Gennaro: Leave the Feast, Take the Cannoli |
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Searching for New Investors: The Blues Mobiles are Dead |
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Live-Blogging the Republican Debate on Opiates |
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The Goonification of Lovecraft: Why Universal Pictures is Dead to Me |
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He Rode a Blazing Deficit |
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Pierce Pissed About Private Pool Putzes |
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Rent-a-Center...I Think We Should See Other People |
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Arizona’s Asphalt Jungle: why the City of Glendale can stick its Corrugated Drainpipe up its own Drainpipe |
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You Say You Want a Revolution? |
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U.S. Border Fence with Mexico Replaced with Banana Peels |
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Damn, I still Hate Facebook |
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Harry Potter: Ten Years I’ll Never Get Back |
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Cthulhu Officially Endorses Palin |
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Ill-Informed Citizens Unite, form of Tea Bag |
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Holiday Inn? How about Holiday Out |
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Clemency for Clemens? Why Lying to a Politician Should Not Only Be Legal But Encouraged |
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Life Impaired Protest Ends In Violence |
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The Crank Redeemed! Everything in my Last Post was Liberal Propaganda |
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Scientists Lied, Camels Died |
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No Negotiating with Teabaggerists! |
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Happy Crankipendence Day: for those who Give a Shit |
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Made in the Shade Brew Fest: Bring Sunscreen |
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Fantasy Characters Living Through Real Apocalypses Protest Fake End of Days |
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Climate Change, Global Weirding, and the Universally Wrong |
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Hey, Mikko, Stop Blowing Wind up My Ass |
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Spendthra VS. Cutzilla: Battle for Earth |
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The Last Supper: Progressive Thought and Reverse Peristalsis |
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Sedona’s Red Rock Café…BWTF? |
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I’m Running for President! |
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The Debate We Should be Having: Why My "No Foxeeter Left Behind Program" is Failing |
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Dateline: Saturday May 21st 6:00PM: World Ends |
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The Economy: $ome Ea$y $olution$ that Can’t Po$$ibly Work |
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Alex Bone Discovered in Belly of Giant Crawdad! |
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Holy Rollercoaster, Batman! |
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Another One Bites the Dust |
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Crankin' from Long Island to Arizona |
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The Discord Exclusive Sean Hannity/Mick Zano Interview! |
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And now for Something Completely Celtic |
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Celtic Crossings: Best Guinness Pour in AZ |
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The 2011 Cadillac CTS-V Wagon, or Mrs. Vader Your Car is Ready |
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Why I Despise Netflix and Want My Old Video Store Back |
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ALIEN UPDATE: The Truth is Really Out There |
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Never Mind that Shit, Here Comes Mongo! |
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Bone’s Disappearance Blamed on Crawdad Attack |
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Crankin’ Up a Shutdown |
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The View from My Guinness: A Stout Pours in Sedona |
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N.F.L./R.I.P. |
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Libya: Two Special Comments, Three Special Swear Words |
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I’m Waving the Cranky White Towel of Disgust |
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Sheen Weaver: The Discord is Just Wild about Charlie |
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Bone Escalates the Invertebrate Conflict into Outright War |
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The Case for Obama’s Impeachment |
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Discord Proves Apollo Conspiracy! |
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There are No Heroes: Pox on Both Yer Budgets! |
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Beer Cleansing |
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What Are You so Damn Proud of Real America? |
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PETA Rebuttal: All U.S. Beef from Free-Range Cattle |
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Super Game XXVIIV |
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Crank on the Super Bowl |
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The First Rule of Pizza Club is Don’t Talk About Pizza Club |
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Rocksongs.com Top 500 and Why I am Involving a Lawyer |
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A Cranky Morning in New York |
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Welcome to My Nightmare: I was a Teenage Barbizon Parent |
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Seven Minutes to Last Call: The Discord Doomsday Clock |
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Attack of the Barbizons: Everyone Gets a Trophy, I get a Bill |
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ATVs: A-hole Trashy Victimizers and Why I Hate Them |
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A 2010 Zano-Style Rebuttal |
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A 2010 Crank-Style Recap |
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Viva Lost Coverage: Zano’s Vegas Coverage Fiasco |
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The X-Box 360: The Truth is in There |
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Bill and Dead’s Excellent Adventure, or that Zombie is sooo Cute |
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Christmas No Mas: or How the Crank Saved Christmas |
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It’s Not "The Holiday Season": Insult Removed for Christ’s sake |
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Institutional Inhibitors to US Development: Stand Back & Embrace the Suckage |
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Discord to Flush All Toilet Humor |
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Hooping for Homos: Don’t Ask, Don’t…Just Don’t Ask |
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Pennsylvanian Women Swept Away by Aliens |
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Why I Still Hate Phil Collins and Other Musical Observations |
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Al Gore , Men In Green, and the HARP that will Destroy Earth! |
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In Defense of Our 44th President |
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The Black Calling the Kettle Pot: or Something Like Fat |
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Dueling Youtubes |
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Jack Primus, The Ghetto Shaman, and All the Chicken Wings they could Rally |
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Hawking Names Successor: Scientism, Cthulhu, and the Perennial Philosophy |
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Cobra Sucks: or why at 42 I want Obamacare to Allow Me Back on My Parent’s Insurance |
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Apparently Only Five People Interested in Restoring Sanity in Arizona |
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Debate is the Death of Conversation: Especially with You! |
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Another Unnecessary Scathing Personal Attack on Pernick |
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Midterms Looming: Will Republicans Stop the Budgetary Madness? |
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Fox on Both Your Houses: The Green Meanies and Patriotic Pinheads Deciphered |
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Serendrunkity and Drinkronicity |
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Against My Doctor and My Lawyers Advice, I Have Taken Glenn Beck's 40/40 Challenge |
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Is the Liberal Libido Warping Our Children? |
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Sage Rage: Incarceration for Dummies |
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Fox News & the Tea Party: Sometimes There Isn’t Safety in Numbers |
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Don’t Tell Me ‘bout Racism, I’m a $@#% Beige Gorilla! |
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Earth is Flat Museum Opens in Kentucky! |
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CNN: It Isn’t Just For Blitzer Anymore |
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Goodstock: Three Months of Jobs, Growth, and Prosperity has Died |
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The Terrorists Win the War on Terror: Film at 11 |
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Parenting: Why I Stopped |
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The Event Verizon: How the Military Industrial Complex Tried to Kill The Daily Discord |
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I’m Sure You Made a Valid Point Somewhere, Crank: We Have People Working on It Now |
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One More Time…with Feeling! A Zano Rebuttal |
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The Discord’s Para Abnormal Research Team vs. Haunted Jerome |
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Ms. Cretin USA Pageant 2010 a Dead Heat! |
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Mosque of the Red Death: Fundamentalism, Tribalism and the Fighting Foxeteers |
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From My Cold Dead Amendments: Thomas Was Wrong to Invoke the 14th in Support of the 2nd Amendment |
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Boomeritis, College Trials, and the Infamous Starburst Incident |
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License to Craw |
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Flagstaff’s Big Red Poor |
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The Hollywood Ending and Other Insightful Film Observations |
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Crankin on the 2011 Hyundai Sonata, or Captain Nemo, your ride is here |
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OK, Crank, I’ll Stop Bitching: After this One Last Time |
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Dear Mick Zano: You’re fired |
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Hung, Beaten, Impaled Iranian Nuclear Scientist’s Death Deemed Suicide |
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Funny Thing, but Breaking Something Called the Justice Department Might Have Consequences for, er…Justice |
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Top 10 Reasons I Hate Top 10 Lists |
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Interview with the Zanpire |
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Is Barack Obama a Textbook Case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder? |
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The Subliminal Mind Fuck America |
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The Début of The Chronicles of Jack Primus, or Zombie and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance |
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Libertarians Anonymous: Breaking with the Tea Parties, Texas Tea, and All Things Lipton |
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Wanted: The Daily Discord Administrator Who Posted the Following Plug on Facebook |
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Cranking on the Border |
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The Bone Gang Destroys Pluto |
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Obama Vying for Government Control over Financial Markets and Hookers |
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Screw You and the Deficit You Rode in On (a Zano Rant: Part Deux) |
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The Truth about Liberal Lies |
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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Protest |
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Bush, the Tea Party, and Fiscal Conservatism for Dummies |
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Study Suggests a Dark Coloring Prejudice in America |
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Arizona Adds Social Site Addiction to Statewide Recovery Programs |
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Jupiter Has Success on South Belt Diet |
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Praising Arizona |
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Send Brewer, Guns, and Money |
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Greece is the Word |
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Stout and Java: the Next PB&J? |
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Arizona’s Crawdad Menace and Other Disturbing Observations |
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Serious Solutions Sought for Sesame Street's Social Slide |
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Dumb and Hummer |
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North Pole Packs Up, Moves to the Far East: Discord Discovers Cause! |
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Does America Need an Integral, Yet Raging, Nougat-Filled Center? |
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Texas Twits Twist Textbook Theme |
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The Heart Attack Grill Charged with Assisted Suicide: No Charge, Cash Only |
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Hitch-Slapping 101: Why Christopher Hitchens Should be King |
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Cooking for Naked People |
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My Dreams Down the Twitter: Yet Another Daily Discord Lawsuit |
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Discord at the Discord: or, Why as a Contributor I’ve Resorted to Death Threats and Violence |
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It’s All Over But for the Funeral and for that I Am Sad |
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Dr. Obamacare: or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Healthcare Bill |
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The Death Book Resurrection by Messiah Obama |
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Free Speech for Those who Can Afford It: An Informed Rebuttal |
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Voter Victimization: How Do I Know When My Political Party is Abusive and Controlling? |
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Free Speech for Those who Can Afford It |
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Think Outside the Fox: A Crank Rebuttal |
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Mick Zano: Dip 3 |
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Clash of Civilizations? |
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Obama Just Needs a 9/11 Moment to Unite Country Behind His Agenda |
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Winslow in Rehab; Six Days Off the Farm |
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The Transcosmetic Party: No. We Don’t Necessarily Wear Dresses |
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Porn Free: One Cabby’s Vegas Tail |
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The Double Dip Recession and the Obama Illusion |
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A Mikky-Twoshits Rebuttal |
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Toyota or Christine the Next Generation? |
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The Daily Discord: Breaking Down News into Tiny Shards of Sensationalism |
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Cadillac CTS-V: All that’s Wrong with the World? |
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Bighoot and the Owl People |
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All Hail Tiger Woods |
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Reid Walks on the Wild Side, Steps in Shit |
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The Crotch Bomber Kid |
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The Great Crank Hunter |
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Hey, Bed, Bath & Beyond Bull Shit, Stick that Ergonomic Gravy-Separator Up Yer… |
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John + Kate + 8 + Psychotic Bimbo - John - $230K – Show + Burglary = Who Gives a Flying Fuck? |
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An Open Letter to Ed "Erectile Dysfunction" Whiteacre, Chairman of GM |
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Beer and Frothing in Las Vegas |
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R.U.S.H: Reptilian Ultra Sapient Hybrids? |
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I’ll Show You My Twitter if You’ll Sit on My Facebook |
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Fox News Alert: Five Reasons Why We Should Always Remember to Hate Homosexuals. |
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Brady Campaign Seeks to Disarm Military to Stop Gun Violence |
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It Might Not Happen Tomorrow: So Keep On Polluting |
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Large Hadron Collider Downed by Refried Beans |
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Happy Cranksgiving: Hey Congress, How ‘Bout a Reach Around? |
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Burger King: Just Out of Touch with America or Socialist Cheese Oppressing Nazis? |
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The Danger and Intrigue of Live Girl Billboards: Turning Road Rage into Road Raging Hard Ons |
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Zano You Ignorant Slut (Remember SNL, Kids?) |
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Cultural Facilitation for Dummies |
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Zano’s Real Fox News Blogathon: Why My Wife Insists I Switch Back to Porn (Part 2) |
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Zano’s Real Fox News Blogathon: Why My Wife Insists I Switch Back to Porn (Part 1) |
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Trend Rending |
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Worse than Carter? |
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An American Werewolf at Zeta |
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Let’s Make Sure This Never Happens Again by Making Another Shitty Law |
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Rick (I’m) Right (Dave You're Wrong) Pernick |
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Tomorrow Bissua Edouardo Rides His Last Bull, or Not |
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A Change I Can Bereave In |
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Apes, Shamans, and Atsals on Health Care |
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Healthcare: A Broken System Almost as Bad as Depicted by Michael Moore |
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Holy Crap, Mick: Spirogyra and the Integral Blowfish? |
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Happy Constitution Day! |
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Will the Real Conservatives Please Stand Up: At Least the Ones Who Are Medically Safe to Do So |
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Spirographic Dianetics and the Evolution of Consciousness |
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Government GPS Proposed in All Cars: You Have Exceeded Legal Mileage Limit RETURN HOME NOW |
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Where DID the 21st Century Earth Republicans REALLY Go? |
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Obama Science Czar Holdren Calls for Forced Abortions |
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Universal What Care? Once More unto the Crank, Dear Friends |
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Hey Mick? You Win the Lottery? |
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Obamacare: Is the Public Option Really a Pain in the Privates? |
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Sarah Palin: The New Frau Blücher! NEEEHeeHeheeheeeheh |
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Your Insistence, Fair Reader, that I’m Glum and Hopeless Makes Me Want to Shoot My Face Off |
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Werewolf Caught Drinking Pina Coladas at Trader Vics: Obama Vows to send the Envoy |
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The Patriotard Menace: A Crank Rebuttal |
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Earth To Mick: Can You Hear Me Now? |
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New Federal Healthcare Insurance Policies Only Benefit Klingons, Siamese Twins, and Earthworms |
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The Bucks County Badlands: Haunted Pennsylvania |
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My Facebook Needs a Face Lift |
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Earth to All Patriotards |
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Cranking On Gadner |
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Those Libertarian Blues |
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Why I am Staying in the U.S. and Resolved to Eat Bugs |
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An Open Letter To Whomever The Fuck Is Going To Actually Be “IN CHARGE” Of The “NEW” General Motors |
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New, Universal Scientific Unit System Unveiled |
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A Letter to Sergio Marchionne: Thoughts of Chrysler’s Future from an American Guido Car Guy (AG/CG) |
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Michael Jackson Is Still Dead, for Now |
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The Good Opinions of Others |
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Some Important Feedback from the Holy Land |
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Discord Designates Cheney Enemy Combatant |
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Very Dated Discord (the Cock Dilemma) |
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McDOORIS: A Very Late Rebuttal Indeed |
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Amurican Education and that Bitch Kimmy Grenawitz |
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Torture: It’s Not Just for Gitmo Anymore |
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The Daily Discord: 2009 An Editing Odyssey |
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The CRANK MANIFESTO: The Sheer Stupidity Of Going “Green” |
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What is the Southwest’s Fascination with Jerky and Will They Get Over It? |
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How Science Fiction Lost Its Soul and How We Can Beam It Back |
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Neurillogical: Why Some People Are Wrong For Soooo Long |
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Peter Sellers had it Right: Swine Flu 101 |
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The Dimming Dilemma |
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Hey, Joe, Where You Going With My Gun in Your Hand? |
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Revolution is in the Err: Bachman Boehner Overdrive |
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The Transcosmetic Party: Evolve or Dissolve |
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One Flew Safely from the Cuckoo's Nest |
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Why I Am Protesting All Protests and Finally Turning off Cable News |
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Separation of State and Church |
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Area 51: The Undiscovered Country |
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California Cranken |
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POSITION DESIRED: PRESIDENT OF THE DISCORD NATION |
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POSITION DESIRED: ADVISOR TO THE INTEGRAL WARLORD |
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We Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: Paranoia and Secret Societies |
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Unemployment Compensation for Dummies |
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Obama’s Hate Speech |
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Institutional Inhibitors to National Development (Besides the Discord) |
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DON’T CALL ME I’LL CALL YOU |
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The Horny Goat Weed Question |
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Integral Men Are Real Men: Cranken Revisited |
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A Stimulating Conversation with Fox: I Got Your Package Right Here |
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So Long My Friend; Real Men Will Miss You |
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The Audacity of, "Nope" |
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Ghost Writers in the Sand |
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Mikko, Mikko, Mikko |
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Fear And Loathing With Mr. Giggles |
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SpankenCranken |
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The Crank Manifesto: On Hannity & Zano, a Match Made in Heaven! |
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The Articles Of Degeneration |
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Flagstaff’s Infamous Monte Vista Hotel |
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The Ghosts of Brewers Past: Philly’s General Lafayette Inn |
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$28.00 |
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Putting the Mental Back in Fundamentalism |
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THE CRANK MANIFESTO: On Al Cranken and Minnesota Politics |
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Help, I Accidentally Turned on Hannity’s America Last Week! |
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Rethinking Traditionalism or Putting the ‘Fun’ Back Into Fundamentalism |
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Presidential Pet Pick Perturbs PETW |
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Breaking Wind |
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Hitch is Not Great: How Rationalists Are Wrong About One Thing |
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Haunted Gettysburg |
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The House Divided |
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Thus Spake Zanothustra |
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THE CRANK MANIFESTO: The Zano Rebuttal |
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Gay Marriage Rebutthole |
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THE CRANK MANIFESTO: Get a Life Zano! |
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The West Nile, Virus, Bird Flu, Weaponized Anthrax, and Other Things that Make You Go Hmmmm. |
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Mawiage, Mawiage, that Dweam Within a Dweam |
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America’s Stonehenge: Intrigue, Mystery and Closet Space |
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A Brief History of Anything |
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Spiral Dynamics and American Politics |
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MICHAEL SAVAGE - Fight For Your Rights |
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Congressman Paul Broun: I Call You Out, You Civics Class Dropout Douchebag! |
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Fear And Loathing With Mr. Giggles |
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My Flip Flop Reversal |
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Al-Qaeda: Mission Accomplished |
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Objective Blame vs. Qualitative Responsibility: The Blamesylvania Rebuttal |
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Much Discord in Blamesylvania |
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Franco-Swiss “Research” Alliance Will Create Earth-Swallowing Black Hole! |
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P.U.B.B. (Poets United for a Better Barroom) |
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Today’s Worst Liberal in the World |
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Republicans, Democrats to Swap Symbology |
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Bush, Fascism, and the Other ‘N’ Word |
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Barak Obama: You Mean I’m Going to Stay this Color? |
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Pubs Vs. Clubs: The Case Against a Woman’s Right to Vote |
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The Once and Future Nepotist |
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Hillary Names Running Mate |
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CRANK MANIFESTO On Driving and Cars |
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RUSH LIMBAUGH: Step It Up, Bitch |
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Plight of the Phoenix: How I Stopped Worrying About On-Coming Traffic and Learned to Love the Valley |
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Losing Pub Friends in the Starbuckarama (Rebuttal) |
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Losing Pub Friends in the Starbuckarama |
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Enter the Ghetto Shaman |
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How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Global Warming and Learned to Love the Sun |
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Who’s Looking Out for “True”? |
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Springtime for Wilber? |
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The Sir Woody Chronicles |
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Cheney: King of the Damned? |
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Restore Habeas Corpus: Then Explain It to Me |
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Toward an Elightened Media |
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No Biden Bounce, Democrats Opt for Conjoined Ticket |
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Sexism, Paganism and the Lost Gospel of Moe |
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On the Road: Off the Track? |
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NEO-HIPPIES - What the Hell? |
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Cabinet Member |
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Environmental Protection Agency |
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United States Trade Representative |
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Office of Management and Budget |
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White House Chief of Staff |
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Vice President |
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Department of Housing and Urban Development |
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Department of Veterans Affairs |
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Department of Homeland Security |
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Department of the Treasury |
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Department of Health and Human Services |
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Department of Transportation |
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Department of Energy |
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Department of State |
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Department of Labor |
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Department of Education |
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Department of Defense |
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Department of Justice |
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Department of Commerce |
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Department of the Interior |
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Department Of Agriculture |
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Cartoon |
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Taken Outside Cokie McGrath's Place |
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Is Bathroom Technology Becoming Sentient? |
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Vetting Process Not Going Well for Christie |
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Altoona Abe Predicts 12 More Months of Darkness |
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Sure the Dark Knight Rises... |
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The Land Speaks and We Listen... |
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|
Sole Survivor of Japanese Tsunami "Ghost Ship" Speaks! |
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|
Obama Dispatches Enterprise to Persian Gulf... |
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|
A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away... |
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|
Sarkozy Bitten by Werewolf! |
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Secretaryian Violence Increases in Syria |
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Cheney's Doctor Speaks Out on His Controversial Operation |
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Dick Cheney "Doing Great" after Heart Transplant |
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Shocking New DNA Evidence of Wolverine’s Origins! |
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What did you expect? Welcome, Sonny? Thanks for nabbing Bin Laden? Thanks for avoiding a depression? |
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The Discord Caption Contest Winners Are: |
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Man Admits He's Not a Huge Paul Fan |
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Dingo Did Not Take Baby: Age Old Mystery Solved? |
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New GOP Frontrunner Land of the Lost's Chaka!! |
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Santorum? No. No, we haven't seen him |
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Gomez-Fester 2012 |
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Did Romney Pander to Vegas Voters? |
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Brewer Queen of the Desert |
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Republicans STILL Seeking Likeable, Dangerously Incompetent Candidate |
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Is Gingrich Practicing his 'Knock Out' Campaign Promise on Lesser Dems? |
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Obama and Cheney Finally Agree! |
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One Percenter Donates $7.5 Million to Repair Washington's 'All Seeing Eye' |
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The Ghetto Shaman's 'Barely Legal Kundalini Cruise' has been Indefinitely Suspended |
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Yes We Have No Bananas... |
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2012: The Choice between Smart Unconstitutional Power, or Incompetent Unconstitutional Power |
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DON'T TAUNT DR. EGO!!!! |
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Bachmann Hires North Korean Criers After Stunning Loss in Iowa |
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Actually, This is When the North Koreans Started Crying |
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Fibonacci Was a Fruit Loop |
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Godzilla Always Has Trouble with Bra Strap |
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Uh Oh, Tebow's Getting Weird |
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Where is the Supercommittee Now? |
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Cain Funds Time Machine in Effort to Not Grope Women in Past |
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Georgia Woman Claims, "Despite My Advances, Cain Was Never Inappropriate" |
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After the utility belt "incident" Batman could finally hit those high notes |
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Stunning Volcano Spews Hot Air and Lava Miles into the Air |
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What We All Can Agree On |
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Bill Maher Admits He's Joe Walsh on Weekends |
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We are Discord! |
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Cain-Burns 2012 |
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This Week on Appetizer Death Match |
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Meet the New Faces of Para-Abnormal Reseach |
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Man's Attempt to Snort the Gobi Desert Ends Poorly |
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Eric Holder's Amazon Purchases Hacked! |
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|
Cantaloupe Attacks More Brazen! |
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|
Another Job Lost |
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|
Palin Not Running: Prefers to be "an Outsider" |
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Are Christie and Huntsman Too Smart for the GOP? |
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|
Chris Christie Should Not Run!! |
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|
Hogwarts? Shit...this can't be right |
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|
Mayans Little Known 2013 Earth-Ovum Prediction |
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"You've Got a Friend in Cheez-it" Campaign Causes Controversy |
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NASA Releases New Photos of Apollo Moon Landing Site |
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|
Bed Bugs on the Rise? |
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Cheney Reveals his Post 9/11 Undisclosed Location in New Book |
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A Story of One Man's Incompetence...and Incontinence |
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Never Mind those Mayans... |
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Discord's Winner of the Triple-Phallus Toon Award 2011 |
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Squidthulhu! |
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Perry Trump in 2012 |
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Right-Wing Blow-Hards Lead the Charge |
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Ethics committee questions the Forcing a Monkey's Head Through a Chain Link Fence study |
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England has the right idea... |
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Local Man is First in Nuclear Nasal Fusion |
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Egypt: Mubarak Faces Lethal Dose via Water Dispenser |
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Working for TSA = $46K/Year |
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The Faces of Math |
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And yet when I get a good Buzz, I can't even get a Woody |
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In a Perfect World... |
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Shop VoldeMart! |
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South Sudan Independent! |
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I don't always read the Discord |
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Famous Jesus Outtakes: |
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Romney's Handlers Upgrade to the Romney3000 |
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Obama, "Our Borders are Secure!" |
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Methodology of Latest Discord Study Questioned |
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Today's Conservative "Thought"... |
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Etch A Scotch |
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TSA Unveils New Airport Security Screening Portals |
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|
Jimmy Makes a Fatal Mistake |
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|
2012 Palin Presidency Prophecy! |
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On Closer Inspection, Maybe the Birthers were Right! |
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|
Pakistanis Are Furious Beiber not Appearing in Islamabad |
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|
Discord Responds to Dems & Republicans...Release the CRANKEN!!! |
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|
Dems Respond... |
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We Have No Good Nominees? This Late? |
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|
Siberian Alien Proven a Hoax! |
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Bin Laden Death Photo Creates More Questions than Answers |
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Due to Continued Al-Qaeda Threats to the Daily Discord... |
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Instead of an Islamic funeral, can't we just shove a bomb up his ass and drop him on Kaddafi? |
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Pope John Paul II's Body Exhumed for Beatification |
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Should I be Concerned? |
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Eden Trial WikiLeaks Dump Revelation! (Not to be Confused with Revelations) |
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|
The Daily Discord... |
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Despite Extreme Cosmetic Gesture, Aflac Refusing to Rehire Gottfried |
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Ancestry.com: You Don't Need to Know What You're Looking For... |
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Etrade Baby Arrested on Insider Trading Charges |
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Burger King Mascot Fails in Libya |
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NASA Discovers Planet Where Republican Views Make Sense |
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|
The Grudge Report |
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|
Mattel to Introduce Moose Murder Barbie! |
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|
Obama Sends Fleet to Head off Japanese Radiation Plume |
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|
Critics Accuse NRA of Marketing to Children |
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|
Info from Japan's Nuclear Incidents Unreliable? |
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|
Why Were We All so Suprised that Judas Priest Guy was Gay? |
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|
Egypt's Aftermath: Looters Make Off with the Great Pyramid |
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Send in the Envoy: |
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|
Intelligence Suggests Gaddafi Seeking Plutonium |
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|
Decision 2012, The New Face of Roulette |
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Is Our Scientific Research Becoming too Suggestive? |
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|
Meet Available Discord Singles in Your Area |
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|
Source of Night Terrors Discovered |
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|
The Leslie Nielsen Foundation Suing Christina Aguilera for Plagiarism |
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Vince Shlomi of ShamWow Fame’s Infomercial Mix Up |
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The Prince of Darkness and the Anti-Christ! |
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Cairo Unhappy with New Value Menu |
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Obama Apologizes to Pakistan for Next Dozen Drone attacks |
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Opinion on Over Fishing: |
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The Discord's Beatifcation of Pope John Paul II |
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Biden Reassures the Country of Afghanistan... |
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Eric Holder: Not Exactly Sure Where His Keys Are |
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Did All 5,000 Birds Die by Flying into a Large Window Suspended from Two Hot Air Balloons? |
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Fox News Linked to Rage, Paranoia, and Impotence in Lab Rats |
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Study Suggests Winter Killed Off the Hippies |
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Al-Qaeda Planning Christmas Attacks! |
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BuickiLeaks Latest Dump |
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Asteroids Did Kill the Dinosaurs! |
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City Employee Admits to Leaving Bat Signal on All Weekend |
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Wikileaks Identify Iranian Nuke Crasher as Alaskan Bull Worm |
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NASA's Startling Mono Lake Admission |
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Obama Humiliated by "Singing Frog" Sensation |
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Discord Hires New PR Manager |
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North Korea’s Binocular Weapons Program Reaches Important Milestone |
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Discord Fans Sick of Rally Jokes |
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Rangel's Pitty Plea at the Big Hearing: |
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Discord Sponsored Jedi Rally! |
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Lauer Attempts to Mediate Pernick/Zano Feud |
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The Crank's Idea of Em-bed-ded Reporting |
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Midterm Enthusiasm Gap Finally Identified |
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Are You Going to The Ghetto Shaman's D.C. Rally Saturday? |
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Invest in Gold Plated AK-47s! |
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Ghetto Shaman Set to Take D.C. by Storm! |
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Was the Red Toxic Sludgeslide a Result of Hellboy's Value Menu Night? |
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Glenn Beck! |
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God Told Me to Masturbate to Christine O'Donnell Ads |
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Hey, Mr. Dominos Guy! |
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Ghetto Shaman Makes "Surprise" Appearance on To Catch a Predator |
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Rahm Emanuel May Leave the White House This Week! |
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GOP’s Pledge to America: More Unnecessary Wars and the Next Economic Collapse |
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The Discord's Way Off Track Betting |
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Bush Forever Cements Legacy by Forfeiting Heisman Trophy |
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Guess the Ghetto Shaman's Last Bail Total and Win a Trip to Vegas with the Discord Gang! |
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Rev. Jones agrees to halt Koran burning… |
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Mysterious Crap Circles Found in FarmVille! |
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Mongo Tony Blair Grabs and Devours his Creator to the Horror of a Large UK Crowd |
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CHRISTIE/CRANK IN 2012 |
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Sure One Mosque at Ground Zero is Controversial, but a Pair... |
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Daily Discord Featured in Major Nouveau Avante Garde Magazine! |
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Source of Iowa Egg Salmonella Outbreak Discovered |
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The ShamWhite |
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Janet Jackson Brings Wardrobe Malfunction to a Whole New Level |
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Lohan is Back! |
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Jihardening of the Arteries: Suicide Burgers on the Rise |
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Local Exorcism Linked to Gastritis |
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Study Suggests Facial Orifice Giantism (FOG) Decreasing in Rock Stars |
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Latest BP Footage Shows New Well Cap Working |
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Andrew Napolitano of Fox News |
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Proof There's Hope for Islam! |
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Woman's Crib Screams for Dogs Shooting Pool and Playing Poker Theme |
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Obama Clones Dispatched for Gulf Clean Up |
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House Foreclosures Increase 100% |
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BP Insists Their Containment Dome is State of the Art |
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Try Outs for Home Alone VII Go Poorly for McCartney |
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Dr. Conrad Murray Reports Recurring Nightmares Involving Michael Jackson's Litigious Father |
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BP Spends 1.3 Billion on Oil Gusher Video Makeover |
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Gen. McChrystal Sets the Record Straight: I'm inundated with tribal types, petty warlords, and corrupt leaders... |
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Sex Addiction Classes Fail |
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Is that a Protruding Pectoral Fin, or are You Just Glad to See Me? |
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Palin: The Other White Meat |
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Thomas Suggests Controversial Discord Contributor Relocate to Poland! |
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Being the Worst NHL Fans Year after Year |
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New Sierra Club Measures to Protect Non-Numanity Habitats |
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Toyota Finds First Clue for Recent Glitches |
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Don't Worry Shahzad, Failed Jihadists Get 72 Sturgeons in the Afterlife |
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Massive Home Scrotal Defibrillator Recall! |
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In Honor of "Draw Muhammad Day" |
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Zeus's Balls Found in Malta |
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MMMITT ROMNEY FOR PRESIDENT, 2012 |
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The Tea Party Deciphered |
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Beyond Petroleum Jelly |
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U.S. Coast Guard Releases Image of Oil Spill Response Efforts |
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Chinese Freighter Filled with Shark Fins, Whale Blubber, and Crude Oil Smashes into Great Barrier Reef |
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Breaking Sharia Law with Style! |
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The Next 9-11!!! |
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In an Effort to Elude Authorities the Pope Ducks Behind this Holy Prop |
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The Ballad of Lizzie Board’em |
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Proctologist Fingered in Police Lineup |
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To Protect Against Church Abuses... |
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Flappy Yeaster Everybody! |
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Gaffe Guru Biden Introduces a Scandal Weary Pope |
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Google Graphic Chafes Chinese Charge |
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Sean Penn Diagnosed with Advanced Vincent Price Syndrome (AVPS) |
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Lohan Sues E*Trade over "Milkaholic Linsday" Remark |
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Sea World Audience Fails to Identify Trainer's Killer in Police Lineup |
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Cameron's Premiere of Discord in 3D Flops |
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Southwest to Accommodate Kevin Smith |
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Nosferatu Rushed to St. Vincent’s |
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Are Nashville Predator Drones Killing too Many Civilians? |
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X-Men Mutants Banned from Winter Olympics |
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They’re Calling it Arson… |
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Discord's CEO Flies Plane into FarmVille |
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Obama Fights Soft Image by Releasing Guantanamo Detainees… |
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With the Shaman, The Ghetto Shaman... |
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Touched by the plight of the Navi during the 3D version of Avatar… |
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Can You Scare Me Now? |
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Tactics to Draw Out Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan Questioned |
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This Just In: |
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Darth Eighter: The Proposition 8 Sith Lord |
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Liberal Reaction to Sarah Palin Becoming a Fox News Contributor |
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Report Suggests Military Missed Signs Fort Hood Shootist was Radicalized |
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Sith Happens! |
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New Book Game Change Reveals Palin’s Own V.P. Debate Prep Notes |
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To Prove His Patriotism... |
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The Two Towers |
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PETA Condemns Discord’s Latest Grudge Match |
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Marriott Admits 27 Gingerbread Men Died During Construction of Castle Display |
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Economy Brightens! |
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Supplement Your Lack of Covered Breast Exams with an Uncovered Discord Mammogram Today! |
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Zano Warns of Double Dip Recession |
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Discord Discovers Truth Behind Mysterious Norway Cloud! |
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Poor Dad of Rich Dad Poor Dad Puzzled by Lack of Speaking Engagements |
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Mick Zano: Ambivalent Protesting at its Finest |
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You Can Get Up Now Mr. Stowie. They're Onto Us. |
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Discord Discovers Real Reason Lou Dobbs Left CNN! |
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The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's Recent Infatuation with Pornography... |
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Hillary Pushing for Bill to Decrease Emissions |
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You Shall Not Pass!!!! |
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Try Stealing This One American Digest! |
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Crisis Center Dispensing Xanax in Lobby |
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Michelle Obama Scrutinizes the Collective Spine of the Democrats |
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Did Darwin's Family Influence His Theory? |
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Our Country Went with a Public Option |
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Manson and Cooper in 2012 |
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ACLU Wins! Court Orders Removal of All Religious Symbols from Federal Land |
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Parachuting from Responsibility to Profit |
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Moon Ambassadors Claim NASA Bomb Obliterates Daycare Center |
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Amidst Recession Kids Find Fun in the Simple Things |
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My First Impression of Joining Facebook |
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Breaking News: Discord’s CEO Pierce Winslow to Fire Zano as Head Comedy Writer! |
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I'd Rather Be Crank Boarding |
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Jacko's Doctor Speaks Out: Sure I Moved the Body... |
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I Don't Care What You Do to Me... |
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If You Want to Put Out a Fire in Athens… |
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Obama's Hash-for-Punkers Initiative is All the Rave |
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GOP Runs Amuck in Town Hall Meetings |
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BOY! I Say, I Say BOY! |
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Obama Appoints Burger King Mascot as Petty Dictator Czar |
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Rahm Emanuel Told Me to Smile and Look Happy... |
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NASA Forges Ahead with Increasingly Suggestive Space Missions |
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Obama Claims Dealing with Iran is Not Difficult |
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Maersk Line's Answer to Somali Pirates |
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Increased Logging Endangers ROUS Habitat |
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Newly Leaked CIA Torture Pics Raise More Questions than They Answer |
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Proof of an Evolution of Consciousness? |
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The Brown Box Recovered from the Wreckage Reveals the Pilot’s Last Fateful Words, “SHEEEEEEEIT!” |
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Pelosi's Statements Have Been Consistent! |
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Look What 183 Waterboarding Sessions Have Done to this Man! |
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Ever since the private demo “incident” |
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Study finds nine out of ten elephant-artists actually just huffing |
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Ode to Nunchaku |
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Liar vs. Exaggerator |
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Romer Picked to Head Economic Advisory Council |
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Kiester Island |
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Know Pope! The Mr. Sunshine Tour |
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Janet Napolitano Confirmation Hearing for Head of Homeland Security |
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Israel Insists Gaza Operation Nearing Completion |
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Discord Captures Celebrity Sighting |
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World Shudders as Putin Feeds Kremlin After Midnight |
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CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY 2008 PARIS HILTON’S NEW BENTLEY |
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Political Climate Change is Real! |
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Back in 2000 Prince Charles made a bet that Bush would make a 'smashing' president. |
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Recent Greek Riots Destroy Several Old Buildings |
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The Daily Discord Man of the Year Bernard Madoff |
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Rahm Emanuel denies any wrongdoing in the Gov. Blagojevich case |
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SNEAK PEEK AT NEXT YEARS DETROIT AUTO SHOW! |
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Risk of SIDS Increasing in U.S. |
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2008 Election: Redneck Reaction |
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When All Else Fails, Joe Walsh For President |
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With Heath Ledger gone will it really be a problem finding the next Joker? |
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Emperor Barney Nero |
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Discord Discovers Shriver Secret Identity |
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Max Headroom Resurfaces |
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Corporate Execs Earn Their Bonuses |
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Ron Paul For President! |
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The Campaign Slogan That May Have Cost Him The Nomination |
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External Link |
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Surviving Mesothelioma |
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Politics of Mesothelioma |
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Eighth Sister Energy & The Joule |
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Real News Bites |
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The News LAMPoon |
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The Specious Report |
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Humor Times |
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News Grift |
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We are a proud member of the Internet Satirical Newspaper Association |
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The Daily Rash |
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Humor Gazette |
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Brendan Alexander's Perplexing Times |
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Confusion Road |
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Political-Humor.info |
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Glossy News |
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Enduring Vision |
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News Mutiny |
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Humor Volcano |
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Abandoned Towers Magazine |
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interesting news items |
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Laugh Send |
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Humor Links |
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Faux Ad |
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Betty Ford |
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Buddhist Geeks |
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Beano Lethal Weapon |
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Image |
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Marquee |
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WILL THE ROMNEY CAMP COUNTER... |
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STUDY SUGGESTS KEEPING... |
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NEW DRUG "DEVIL'S BREATH" CAN WIPE MEMORY AND BLOCK FREE WILL... |
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RUSSELL BRAND HAS RARE NORMAL DAY... |
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HOLLANDE SAUCED AT FRENCH PRESIDENTIAL VICTORY PARTY... |
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FDA BANS USE OF PINK SLIME IN ALL MEAT PRODUCTS... |
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ABBOTTABAD DOCUMENTS DEPICT... |
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RUSH LIMBAUGH ATTEMPTS TO DISPROVE... |
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DISCORD DUMPS ALL ASSETS... |
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AFTER BEING BLAMED FOR A DECIMATED BEE POPULATION... |
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BREAKING NEWS: MONSANTO IS... |
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THE CHARGE OBAMA IS CAMPAIGNING ON BIN LADEN’S DEATH... |
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BODY IN WASHINGTON BUNKER MAY BE THAT OF THE DISCORD'S GHETTO SHAMAN... |
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NERDY SECRET SERVICE AGENT ASKS... |
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DISCORD CONTRIBUTORS DENY SEX TRAFFICKING CHARGES... |
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MEDIA MOGUL MURDOCH EXPLAINS... |
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THE BARTENDER SAID "SIT WHEREVER YOU WANT"... |
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PRELUDE TO A PISS... |
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ROMNEY VOWS TO BRING ALL TROOPS HOME... |
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I JUST TRIED HEATING UP MY PIZZA... |
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GINGRICH'S GINORMOUS TESTICLES... |
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EMBARRASSED DISCORD STAFFER ADMITS... |
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MY UNCLE HIRED THE BEST ROMANIAN CATERERS IN THE STATE... |
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SIX OF 10 DISCORD STAFFERS STILL UNABLE TO GET A DATE... |
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THE USE OF UNNECESSARY VIOLENCE... |
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CONTROVERSY WIDENS IN GHETTO SHAMAN’S BROOKLYN EASTER GRENADE HUNT... |
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CAN HALLUCINOGENS EXPLAIN MOST... |
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PREMLINARY AUTOPSY RESULTS... |
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SANTORUM PROJECTED TO WIN... |
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BAD NEWS: RENO’S OCD MEETUP GROUP... |
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THE DISCORD WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE LACK OF ROMNEY ETCH-A-SKETCH JOKES... |
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RISING AUTISM RATES LINKED TO... |
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JAMES CAMERON REACHES THE DEPTHS... |
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PINK SLIME MEAT NOW ADDED TO... |
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PINK FLOYD TO OPEN... |
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STATE INTEGRITY INVESTIGATION FINDS NJ THE LEAST CORRUPT STATE... |
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DISCORD CEO DENIES $70 MILLION IN STIMULUS... |
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SANTORUM HANDLERS WARN... |
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AFTER PROMISING TO PUT AN END TO ALL... |
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SHOCK POLL: SEVEN OUT OF TEN DISCORD READERS... |
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GINGRICH VOWS TO STAY IN RACE... |
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THE GHETTO SHAMAN SURVIVES BEING TASED 75 TIMES BY POLICE… |
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IN BAD PUN RELATED NEWS... |
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AFTER MILLION DOLLAR DONATION TO OBAMA… |
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GOP DOES APPROVE THE MORNING AFTER PILL... |
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SINCE THE RECENT HACKING OF YOUPORN PASSWORDS... |
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REPUBLICANS UNABLE TO FIND SOMEONE... |
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FOR HIS RECENT SLURS... |
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PROBE WIDENS... |
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THERE ARE ALLEGATIONS DISCORD’S MARQUEE CONTROLLER WAS DRINKING WHEN... |
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STUDY SUGGESTS HUMANKIND... |
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LOCAL MAYOR CLAIMS... |
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SANTORUM DECRIES... |
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"I HAVE SEEN A LOT OF PEOPLE... |
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DAILY DISCORD’S MICK ZANO DENYING ALLEGATIONS... |
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DISCORD FUNDED STUDY SUGGESTS... |
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THE DISCORD IS GRATEFUL THE GHETTO SHAMAN... |
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IN AN EFFORT TO AVOID A COMPLETE ECONOMIC COLLAPSE... |
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KEVIN COSTNER FIRED... |
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SANTORUM QUESTIONS OBAMA’S FAITH... |
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IRAN OUTLAWS SIMPSONS DOLLS.... |
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MSNBC FIRES PAT BUCHANAN... |
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THE DAILY DISCORD: BREAKING NEWS.... |
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FDA BANS DISCORD’S LATEST CONCONCTION... |
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ROMAN MARONI DEPORTED TO SWEDEN... |
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SANTORUM???.............. |
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THE WAFFLE HOUSE TO OFFER ROMANTIC... |
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IRAN WARNS OF COMING "GREAT EVENT"... |
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THE PASSING OF THE INSIDER TRADING BILL ENJOYED BIPART.... |
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I'M NOT FOLLOWING THIS CONTRACEPTIVE/CHURCH SCANDAL THING... |
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MANY ARE ASKING WHAT IT WILL TAKE... |
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MAN SHOOTS SON FOR SINGING KENNY CHESNEY SONG... |
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“WE MAY CONFRONT THIS DESTRUCTIVE ADVERSARY WITH A NATION UNITED... |
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UNEMPLOYMENT RATE DROPS TO 8.3% AFTER... |
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WE'RE NOT BIG FOOTBALL FANS HERE AT THE DISCORD... |
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THE DAILY DISCORD: WHERE THE TODAY SHOW GOES FOR ITS NEWS... |
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GOP FEARS DEFENSE CUTS COULD... |
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THE GHETTO SHAMAN WILL NO LONGER BE HOSTING ALL THINGS DISCOURAGED... |
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DAILY DISCORD STAFF VERY CLOSE TO FIGURING OUT... |
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THE SUN IS ANGERED WITH THE GINGRICH SURGE... |
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WAS THE GINGRICH SURGE... |
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BREAKING NEWS: ALEX BONE... |
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A WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IS IN EFFECT OVER THE ROMNEY ADMINISTRATION... |
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PROCESSED MEAT LINKED TO CONSERVATISM |
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IN HONOR OF MLK DAY... |
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OBAMA PREPARES TO RAISE THE DEBT CEILING... |
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DISCORD RENEWS ITS DOMAIN REGISTRATION... |
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WE USUALLY JUST DO JOKES HERE... |
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AND SO ARTHUR AND BEDEMIR AND SIR ROBIN SET OUT ON THEIR SEARCH TO FIND... |
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QUOTE OF THE DAY: "IN NEW HAMPSHIRE... |
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2012: GLOBAL ECONOMIC COLLAPSE, MAYAN GODS... |
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DISCORD RESOLUTIONS... |
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GOP SHOCKER... |
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IS OBAMA'S DECISION TO USE PREDATOR DRONES... |
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DISENFRANCHISED BACHMANN, PERRY, CAIN, & GINGRICH SUPPORTERS LAMENTING... |
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GOOD NEWS: EATING FISH LINKED TO LOWER RATES OF ALZHEIMERS... |
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'SANTA KILLER' LIKELY... |
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DECISION TO RELEASE ABU GHRAIB OUTTAKE REELS... |
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GOP WEIGHS IN ON THEIR SHORT TERM GINGRICH OBSESSION... |
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SEND WARM THOUGHTS TO... |
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TRUMP BREAKS WITH GOP... |
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DEATHS FROM BRAIN-EATING AMOEBA... |
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IRAN AGREES TO RETURN U.S. DOWNED DRONE... |
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PERSON WHO STARTED THE BON JOVI... |
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KIM JONG-IL'S FINAL REQUEST TO BE HONORED... |
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67 NEW SPECIES DISCOVERED... |
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DISCORD MARQUEE CONTROLLER DIAGNOSED... |
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THE WORLD DROPPED AN IQ POINT TODAY... |
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HOLIDAY SHOPPERS OUT IN FULL FORCE... |
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DISCORD CONTRIBUTOR INSISTS... |
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CLIMATOLOGISTS ESTIMATE... |
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ANGRY BOWLING LEAGUE THREATENS... |
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WHY ARE YOU DUMPING CAIN? |
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BROOKE MUELLER DENIES BEING INTOXICATED DURING RECENT ASSAULT... |
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IN AN EFFORT TO PROVE JUST HOW MORONIC THE GOP IS... |
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BLAGOJEVICH PLEADS WITH COURT FOR A LIGHTER SENTENCE... |
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THE EPILEPSY FOUNDATION WARNS... |
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DEAR REPUBLICANS... |
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IN AN EFFORT TO KEEP ARIZONA A POLITCAL LAUGHINGSTOCK... |
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MITT ROMNEY AGREES TO LOBOTOMY... |
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GOP: DEBATES DEEMED WAY TOO HARD... |
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NBC APOLOGIZES TO BACHMANN... |
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DISCORD’S LATEST HERPES CLIP... |
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ODDS ARE LINDSAY LOHAN IS VIOLATING HER PROBATION... |
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WHEREAS SONIC FILTER HAS DOWNGRADED THE DISCORD... |
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MICHELE BACHMANN: "I HAVEN'T HAD A GAFFE... |
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CHARGES PRESSED ON CHEVY VOLT... |
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PACIFIC TRADE TREATY INVOLVES A TRADE... |
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DR. NICK RIVIERA M.D. IS CHARGED WITH MANSLAUGHTER... |
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THE FICTIONAL BAND THE RUTLES... |
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MAN FOUND IN THE SAN DIEGO TUNNEL CONTAINING 14 TONS OF MARIJUANA... |
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BUDGET SUPERCOMMITTEE FIRES ITSELF... |
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UPROAR CAUSED BY EX-PORN STAR READING DISCORD POSTS TO KINDERGARTNERS... |
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POLICE BURN OCCUPIER'S TENTS... |
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THE FREE MARKET WORKS... |
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SHARK ATTACKED BY SURFER... |
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TEAR UP PENN STATE ALL YOU WANT, MORONS... |
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BULLET THAT HIT THE WHITE HOUSE... |
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A MESSAGE TO ASSAD OVER IN SYRIA... |
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LOCAL SASQUATCH DENIES THE EXISTENCE OF YETIS |
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THINGS TO WATCH FOR DURING THE NEXT REPUBLICAN DEBATE... |
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AFTER THE LAST DEBATE, RICK PERRY AGREES... |
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PENNSYLVANIANS DEMAND... |
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BELIEVE IN YOURSELF... |
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CITIZEN CAIN SAYS HE'S... |
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SURVIVING PILOT OF PLANE CRASH... |
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SEE LADY’S LINGERIE... |
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KARDASHIAN DIVORCES... |
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IT IS A DARK TIME FOR THE REBELLION... |
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MAN ELECTROCUTED IN BATHTUB... |
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SURE GADDAFI IS DEAD... |
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"OCCUPY <CITY>" MOVEMENT RENAMED... |
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ALEX BONE: HOW TO COMBAT... |
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JACKSON'S DOCTOR CASE UPDATE... |
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THE MEMORIAL FOR THE 12 MEMBERS OF THE OCCUPY ATLANTIS GROUP WILL BE HELD MONDAY... |
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GOP ANGERED BY LIBYA... |
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NOTICE TO ALL SPLINTER GROUPS AND UNAUTHORIZED OCCUPY WAL*MARTERS... |
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"THE TRUE DREAMERS ARE THOSE WHO... |
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OBAMA'S STOLEN TELEPROMPTER HAS ASSUMED COMMAND OF THE NATION... |
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OCCUPY WAL*MART UPDATE... |
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A STRANGE VIRUS IS SPREADING RAPIDLY... |
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THIS WEEK IN ALL THINGS DISCOURAGED... |
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MEET THE DISCORD CREW IN AMSTERDAM ON 10/31... |
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JOIN THE DAILY DISCORD AND "OCCUPY WALMART"... |
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SECRET TO HAPPINESS DISCOVERED! |
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SCIENTISTS DISCOVER... |
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VISIT OUR SPONSOR AT CYBORGPSYCHOANALYST.COM... |
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SKYNET, A COMPUTER SYSTEM DEVELOPED BY THE DEFENSE FIRM CYBERDYNE SYSTEMS... |
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DISCORD MARQUEE CONTROLLER BEGINNING TO QUESTION... |
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UNDERWEAR BOMBER TEAMS UP WITH THE SKID MARK KID... |
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REPUBLICAN NOMINEE JON HUNTSMAN FALLS ON HIS SWORD... |
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LOCAL MAN NAMED GIL DENIES... |
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BAD PUN-RIDDEN DISCORD POST CRASHING TO EARTH THIS WEEK... |
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DISCORD MARQUEE CONTROLLER... |
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RELEASED U.S. HIKERS... |
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MICHELE BACHMANN ON OVERSPENDING... |
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PERRY WARNS GOP AGAINST PICKING CANDIDATE WHO "KNOWS FACTS AND SHIT"... |
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TWITTER AND FACEBOOK JOIN FORCES... |
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ZOGBY POLL: TEA PARTY NOW LESS FAVORABLE THAN VENEREAL DISEASE... |
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KING LEONIDAS LED 300 SPARTANS INTO BATTLE AGAINST A SHITLOAD OF PERSIANS EARLER TODAY... |
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THIS WEEK’S WINNER OF THE LOUSY MARQUEE JOKE GOES TO... |
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SOME IN THE TEA PARTY MAINTAINING THEIR SUPPORT FOR BACHMANN... |
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GEORGIA: AS FOR THE TROY DAVIS EXECUTION... |
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OBAMA TO INCREASE PREDATOR DRONE STRIKES... |
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CHINESE CONDOMS TOO SMALL... |
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PAT ROBERTSON BLAMING DEMENTIA... |
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AL GORE'S NEW 24-HR TELECAST.. |
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HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND... |
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THE DAILY DISCORD: THE MOST TRUSTED NAME... |
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LONG AND FUTILE STRUGGLE WITH REALITY... |
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OBAMA RETRACTION... |
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DISCORD STAFFER FORGETS TO COVER... |
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EUROPE: GREECE COMFORTED BY... |
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OBAMA TO UNVEIL NEW DREAM JOBS INITIATIVE... |
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GOVERNOR RICK PERRY RIPS OFF TEXAS PANHANDLE... |
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CONSERVATIVES VOW TO RESTORE FISCAL INSANITY |
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SHOCK POLL: SEVEN OUT OF TEN AMERICANS... |
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EVIDENCE SUGGESTS FLASH MOBS... |
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IF YOU HAVE A PARROT... |
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MASSIVE EARTHQUAKE IN PHILADELPHIA... |
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MASTURBATION ON THE RISE... |
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"I WANT A PRESIDENT WHO LOVES THIS COUNTRY," TEXAS GOVERNOR... |
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RICK PERRY: VOTE FOR ANOTHER NEOCON TEXAS GOVERNOR... |
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DAILY DISCORD TO ACQUIRE GOOGLE... |
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AS THE DISCORD INDICATES, MENTAL ILLNESS IS... |
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LIBERAL APPEASERS DISMISS... |
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SCIENTISTS BAFFLED BY DISCOVERY OF MYSTERIOUS "LOGICAL" REPUBLICAN |
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WATER ON MARS? UNLESS WE FIND BEER... |
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DIRECTOR ARGUES RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES... |
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VIRTUAL NEWS: TWITTER ACCOUNT CHANGED TO THE 'REAL' DAILY DISCORD FAN SITE... |
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DEVELOPING: CONCERNS PERSIST... |
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OBAMA VOWS TO KEEP ... |
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OBAMA RESPONDS TO ALLEGATIONS HE DOES NOT LOVE THIS COUNTRY... |
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DAILY DISCORD REFUSES TO DISCUSS IT'S DOWNGRADED AA RATING... |
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DOWNGRADED!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY... |
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MEET REAL VIRTUAL SINGLE PHOTOSHOPPED WOMEN... |
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OBESE 11TH GRADER INSISTS HE'S "TOO BIG TO FAIL" |
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MILITARY WICCANS DENOUNCE DON'T ASK DON'T SPELL |
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MAN WHO DROPS PANTS AT LOCAL PARTY... |
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VIRGIN CONTRACTS VD... |
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STUDY SUGGESTS INSTANCES OF DEPRESSION HIGHER IN SAD PEOPLE |
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DEBT TALKS TO RESUME NEXT WEEK... |
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OBAMA ASKS BOEHNER TO STOP... |
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CORN PROTESTING HARSH CONDITIONS IN IOWA |
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THE DAILY DICKORD MEMBERS WOOD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE... |
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AFTER RECENT CONTROVERSIAL PUN ATTEMPT... |
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GHETTO SHAMAN TO HALT... |
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YOU CAN'T CLOSE NEWS OF THE WORLD... |
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A SCANDAL-WEARY DISCORD... |
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PENTAGON: THE DISCORD CONSTITUTES AN OPERATIONAL DOMAIN OF WAR! |
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DISCORD EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: JUROR NUMBER FOUR IN CASEY ANTHONY CASE ADMITS... |
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DURING THIS WEEK’S ALL THINGS DISCOURAGED... |
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MICHIGAN MAN SUSPECTED OF BEING FROM WISCONSIN |
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BAKED BEAN EATING CONTEST ENDS ON A SOUR NOTE |
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DISCORD LATIN PHRASE OF THE WEEK... |
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FIRST DATE JUMBOTRON PROPOSAL ENDS IN DISASTER |
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DOUBLE FATAL SHOOTING ENDS WELL FOR THIRD PERSON WITH GUN |
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CONGRESS TO DEFUND ALL PANT MACKEREL |
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TRUE STORY: A WOMAN'S BODY REMAINED UNDISCOVERED FOR TWO DAYS... |
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Jon Cryer, Ray Romano, and Charlie Sheen to star... |
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HOW CAN VIRTUAL VIDEO GAME CHARACTER DUKE NUKEM BE THE NEW TEA PARTY FAVORITE... |
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DISCORD STAFF TO CEASE ALL FLASH MOB BREAST EXAM ACTIVITIES... |
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CEO PIERCE WINSLOW IS DENYING ALLEGATIONS... |
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BLAGOJEVICH BERATES JURY... |
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MISUNDERSTANDING THE TERM "FLASH MOB"... |
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SHOCK POLL: 7 OUT OF 10 AMERICANS FEEL... |
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ODE TO AZ... |
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DURING TRADE TALKS WITH ISRAEL... |
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SUPPORT FOR WEINER PETERS OUT... |
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JESUS RETURNS...STABBED BY VANCOUVER CANUCKS FANS |
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GHETTO SHAMAN TELLS POLICE... |
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PALIN TWEET AFTER VISITING UNDERGROUND RAILROAD SITE... |
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IS REPRESENTATIVE WEINER CHANGING HIS TOOL… |
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CUCUMBER E COLI OUTBREAK COULD SPREAD... |
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GOT E COLI? KILLER KRAUT CUCUMBERS... |
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IT'S GETTING STICKY... |
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THE DAILY DISCORD WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR IMPLYING HORSES WOULD... |
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RECENT HORSE HERPES OUTBREAK... |
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GUN VIOLENCE PLUMMETS... |
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JUDGMENT DAY PREACHER REALIZES WHERE HE ERRED... |
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ON RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, PALIN SAYS... |
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"WOMEN SHOULD BE IN CHARGE LIKE THE INSECT KINGDOM" -- GENE SIMMONS |
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HAROLD CAMPING, THE JUDGMENT DAY PREACHER, HAS ONE REGRET... |
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DISCORD'S MARQUEE ENGINEER HAS BEEN SUMMONED BY GOD FOR THE RAPTU... |
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DISCORDPEDIA WORD OF THE WEEK, XENAPHOBIA... |
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REPUBLICANS VOW TO UNDUE ANY PROGRESS… |
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THE DISCORD IS NOW FOLLOWING THE LESBIAN MAFIA... |
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COPIES OF DAILY DISCORD FOUND IN BIN LADEN’S COMPOUND |
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OBAMA ANNOUNCES STEPS TO HASTEN OUR DEMISE |
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ASHTON KUTCHER FINDS HIS PET RABBIT... |
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MITT ROMNEY ADMITS HE IS AN ANDROID |
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DEVELOPING: ANCIENT BEER PONG TABLE... |
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DEEP THOUGHTS: MAYBE INSTEAD OF BECOMING A MARTYR... |
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OSAMA BIN LADEN’S BODY HIJACKED BY SOMALI PIRATES! |
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JUST BEFORE HIS HEAD DIED... |
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INSTEAD OF AN ISLAMIC FUNERAL... |
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ON ALL THINGS DISCOURAGED THIS WEEK... |
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AFTER NEARLY 10 YEARS THEY FINALLY GOT HIM... |
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MICK ZANO LANDS INTERVIEW WITH SEAN HANNITY... |
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TRAGIC END TO SUBWAY-TUNNEL EASTER EGG HUNT... |
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YOUTWITFACE, THE MERGER OF TWITTER... |
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DETROIT RED WINGS CRUSH THE PHOENIX COYOTES... |
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NEW STUDY SUGGESTS WOMEN PREFER... |
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APOLOGY: WE MEANT "DEIFICATION" IN OUR VATICAN FEATURE... |
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SHOCK POLL: 7 OUT OF 10 WOMEN NOT COMFORTABLE WITH... |
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YOUTUBE, TWITTER, AND FACEBOOK TO MERGE... |
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DISCORD BANS SEXTING... |
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THE DAILY DISCORD: BREAKING DOWN NEWS INTO TINY SHARDS OF SENSATIONALISM |
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DUE TO UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES... |
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NOTE TO LIBYAN REBELS... |
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GENPO ROSHI TAKES ON DEEPAK CHOPRA... |
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SEVEN OUT OF TEN DISCORD CONTRIBUTORS ENCOURAGED... |
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TWITTER NEWS ALERT: WELCOME ABOARD 'PIMPLYFACEDNERD'... |
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FACEBOOK NEWS ALERT: YOUR WIFE IS ABOUT TO LEAVE YOU... |
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THE GHETTO SHAMAN HAS POSTED LATE... |
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IF KATIE COURIC KILLED CBS NEWS... |
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ZANO RATES SHEEN’S DETROIT PERFORMANCE... |
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AFTER BOMBING IN DETROIT... |
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OBAMA BREAKING WITH REPUBLICANS ON NPR... |
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THE TIMING OF OBAMA’S RIO TRIP QUESTIONED... |
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VOTE GINGRICH 2012: WHINCE, BLATHER, REPEAT |
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OBAMA WARNS FUKUSHIMA... |
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OBAMA MAINTAINS LIBYAN MISSION IS CLEAR... |
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DISCORD'S MARQUEE CONTROLLER SUFFERING... |
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MICHELE BACHMANN TO FORM EXPLORATORY COMMITEE... |
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HAVE YOU OR A LOVED ONE BECOME VIOLENTLY ILL... |
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FACEBOOK NEWS ALERT: A STRONG LINK DISCOVERED BETWEEN FACEBOOK USAGE AND NARCISSISM... |
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NASA CLAIMS IF YOU TOOK OUR DEBT... |
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TWO POWER PLANTS ARE STILL IN DANGER... |
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NEWT GINGRICH EXPLAINS HIS TRANSGRESSIONS... |
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DISCORD'S CEO, PIERCE WINSLOW, IN NEGOTIATIONS WITH CHARLIE SHEEN'S AGENT... |
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SO CALLED OKLAHOMA ANGEL DOG SURVIVES EUTHANIZATION... |
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LIBYA: KADAFI, KADDAFI, QADDAFI, GADDAFI... |
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GADAFFI TELLS HIS PEOPLE, "I SHOT A PROTESTOR ... |
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NASA BELIEVES ALIEN LIFE HAS BEEN DISCOVERED... |
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REBEL SUPEREGO FORCES... |
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"WHEN GASOLINE APPROACHES FOUR DOLLARS A GALLON... |
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FOUR OUT OF FIVE EXPECTING MOTHERS... |
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BATTLING POOR RATINGS... |
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DEVELOPING: THOUSANDS OF HANGMAN’S NOOSES... |
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JIMMY BUFFET CELEBRATES... |
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ARIANNA HUFFINGTON DENIES ATTEMPTING TO PURCHASE THE DAILY DISCORD FOR A BEER… |
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MINING ON THE PLANET PANDORA... |
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THE U.S. FACES DIFFICULT CHALLENGE FINDING BAHRAIN ON A MAP... |
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FACEBOOK WOULD LIKE TO REMIND THE WORLD THAT WE ALMOST SINGLEHANDEDLY FREED EGYPT... |
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OBAMA UNVEILS SPENDING CUTS... |
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DISCORD’S GHETTO SHAMAN GIVES ADVICE TO CHARLIE SHEEN... |
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INSIDER ADMITS FOX NEWS "MAKES STUFF UP"... |
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STRANGE THINGS ARE AFOOT AT THE CIRCLE-K… |
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EGYPT'S EXILED PRESIDENT MUBARAK CONDEMNED... |
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COMFORTED BY MUBARAK’S EXILE... |
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EGYPT: THANK ALLAH IT'S LIBERATION FRIDAY... |
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DEVELOPING: POLICE HAVE FOUND A SMALL BAGGIE... |
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DEVELOPING: THE TRADE FEDERATION HAS INVADED THE PLANET NABOO... |
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"IF I RESIGN TODAY THERE WILL BE CHAOS,"... |
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WITH ALL OF THE CHAOS IN EGYPT THIS WEEK... |
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SPAM TEXT FOILS WOULD-BE SUICIDE BOMBER... |
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KEITH OLBERMANN PICKS NEW TAG FOR TWITTER ACCOUNT |
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HILLARY CLINTON REPORTS BEING "MORTIFIED"... |
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ON THE GHETTO SHAMAN'S NEW SEGEMENT, ALL THINGS DISCOURAGED... |
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MICK ZANO'S DAUGHTER ACCEPTED TO BARBIZON |
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ZSA ZSA GABOR’S AMPUTATED LEG |
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DISCORD THREATENING TO RELEASE NUDE PHOTOS OF DANNY DEVITO |
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AT TUCSON MEMORIAL OBAMA URGES AMERICANS TO "RETURN TO A MORE CIVIL DISCOURSE |
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NY RANGERS 2, PHOENIX SUNS 136 OT |
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FACEBOOK NEWS ALERT: TWO OF YOUR FRIENDS HAVE CHANGED THEIR PROFILES... |
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SARAH PALIN IS ON THE DEFENSIVE AFTER YESTERDAY'S KILLING SPREE... |
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THE DISCORD'S GHETTO SHAMAN ASKS THE HARD QUESTIONS… |
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THE DOW PLUNGES LIKE A FLOCK OF BLACK BIRDS... |
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PIERCE WINSLOW, ADMITS TO REPORTERS HIS EGG A RADICAL MUSLIM DAY... |
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"NEEDLESS TO SAY, MY FIELD RESEARCH ON... |
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FACEBOOK NEWS ALERT: AN ESTIMATED 17,000 PEOPLE WILL LIKE SOMETHING... |
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NARNIAN DRONE ATTACKS RESPONSIBLE FOR SEVEN CIVILIAN CASUALTIES... |
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DISCORD NEWS ALERT: CONTRIBUTOR DAVE ATSALS REPORTS... |
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DISCORD PHOTOSHOP STAFFER REPORTS... |
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STUDY SUGGESTS HUMOR IS THE BEST MEDICINE… |
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IMBIBERS OF THE GHETTO SHAMAN’S HOME BREWS REPORT... |
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DISCORD REPORTERS MICK ZANO AND "VEGAS GREAT" BALD TONY REPORT... |
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A Place for Raging Moderates, Tragic Optimists, and Integral Outcasts |
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Spoof News |
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Gingrich Reveals his 32-State Concession Speech Tour |
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Shootout at the Batshit Corral Approved by City Council |
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Garbage Basketball a Lost Art for One Man |
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The Magnificent Apology Rides Again |
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Church Apologizes for Using Real Nails during Crucifixion Reenactment |
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Pope Angers Gotham: Is Batman Working for the Vatican? |
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Man Ends 39 Day "Moon Vigil" for Google Street View |
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Bleary Eyed Politician Declares War on Pollen |
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Social Phobia Meetup Group Fails to Meet Again |
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Another Discord Apology, Rides Again |
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James Cameron Reaches Depth of his Box Office Flop Piranha II |
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Gingrich Vows to Campaign on Future Moon Base |
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Pink Slime Content Revealed! |
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Finger Puppets the Most Misunderstood of Toys |
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Mysterious Phoenix Explosion Explained |
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Springfield Elects Mayor for 17th Term |
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Who Ordered the Drone Attack that Killed Breitbart? |
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Is Obama too Soft on this Wadiyian Tyrant? |
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Waffle House Flummoxed by Lack of Valentine’s Business |
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Obama Threatens to Drop the F-Bomb on Iran |
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Radcliffe Admits Constant Pressure of Facing Voldemort Led to Drinking |
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Oklahoma Town Baffled by Lack of Tourism |
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Job Creator, Zeus, Angered with Obamacare Mandates |
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Newt Gingrich Concedes Race and Endorses Younger Newt Gingrich |
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Punxsutawney Pete Predicts Six-More-Weeks of Slow Economic Growth |
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Ham Slam: Miss Piggy’s Fox News Roast |
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Freudian Slippery? Gingrich Shakes Baby’s Hand and Kisses Mother |
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Cruise Captain Burns Down Home During House Arrest! |
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Obama to Increase Deficit in New 'Fun Size' Increments |
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Cyber Geek Accidentally Summons Virtual Demon |
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Mysterious Crap Circles: Alien Messages or Intestinal Flu? |
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Obama Falls Behind on White House Mortgage Payments |
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Edison’s Original Recordings Digitally Enhanced and Rereleased |
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America Bans Defective French Breast Implants in Favor of Liberty Melons |
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Santa Claus' GPS Coordinates Hijacked by Iran! Sleigh Brought Down Near Tehran |
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Existence of Snuffleupagus Questioned by Expert |
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God Denies Existence of Christopher Hitchens |
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Scientists Discover then Ostracize "God Particle" |
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Archeologists Discover Time when Earth was "One Big Party" |
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Buckingham Palace Rented to College Students |
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Bacon Announces ‘Six-Degrees to Kevin Bacon’ Victory |
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Belgium Downgraded to Countrytoid |
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Republicans Demand Muppet Segregation |
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Gingrich Surge Fueled by Angry NBA Fans |
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Christmas Elves Forcibly Remove Occupy North Polers |
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Republicans Still Seeking Likeable, Dangerously Incompetent Candidate |
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Obama Expected to Give Up During Next Scheduled Press Conference |
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Oklahoma Earthquake: Millions of Kernels Still Trapped under Downed Cornstalks! |
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I was a Teenage Discord Apology |
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Conviction Change is Real! |
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World’s Entire Fossil Record Created by One Obsessive-Compulsive Hoaxter |
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If America Promises to Disband Capitalism will you all take a Shower? |
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Making Fun of These Royals Means Prison or No Lunch Specials for a Lifetime |
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Occupy Wal*Mart Protest Lasts Six Grueling Hours |
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The Great Recession Hits Springfield, DOH! |
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Las Vegas Welcomes its First Amelia Impersonator |
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E*Trade Baby Attacked by Wall Street Protestors! |
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Onion Copycat Case Draws Anemic Ridicule for Discord |
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Mothman Found Dead! |
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Nation to Cryogenically Freeze itself until Current Job Problem Solvable |
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Winnipeg Wilderness Wipes out Warm Weather Wussies |
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Merkel Agrees to EU Bailouts Only if Greece Submits to a Drug Test |
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ASPCA Mistakenly Euthanizes Tea Party Congressman |
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Osama Bin Laden’s Wife Claims Pot was "Mellowing him Out" |
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Man Sentenced to Barrage of Good & Plentys, Jujubes, and Popcorn after Failing to Place Phone on Vibrate during Spy Kids 4 |
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Bachmann Lured through Hellish Nether Portal |
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"Job Creators" Discuss Plans for Massive Pyramid Complex |
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English Bobbies to Quell Riots by Saying Stop…Again |
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Sesame Street Still Forcing Ernie & Bert to Live a Lie |
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Ronco’s Woes Continue with Recall of Zombie Pinata |
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The Daily Discord Presents CriminalAncestry.com |
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Jeff Conaway’s Death Further Proof of a Taxi Curse? |
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Man Filling Void left by Glenn Beck with Cannibalism |
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The Romney3000 Breeched: Hackers make off with Sensitive Campaign Data! |
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Bush and Cheney Deny Employing Dementors at Guantanamo Bay |
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Murdoch Claims Fox News is "Too Biased to Fail" |
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2007 Miss Teen U.S.A. Finalist the New Tea Party Queen? |
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North Korea Boasts Capability of New Ballistic Something: Taepowoodendong-2 |
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GOP Claims Gingrich’s Mouth Nearly Contained at this Time |
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Palin to Donate Frontal Lobes to Bachmann Campaign |
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Discord Apology XXXIV |
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Palin Announces Exit Strategy |
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Government Contracts with Tornado Hunters |
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Steel Reinforced "Storm Shelters" Found to be Hoax in Heartland |
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Palin Leaves Children, Dog Outside of Bar for Two Hours with Tour Bus Running |
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NHL Charges Goaltender for 3rd Intermission Zamboni Fuel |
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Would be Raptured Couple "Just Having Sex" |
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God’s Tornado Rapture Weekend a Bust |
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Attack Ad Goof: Tossed Real Old Lady from Cliff! |
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Tens of Thousands of Zombie Feeders Recalled |
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Grandmother Still Holding Birther Meetup Group this Saturday |
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Twisted Twister hits Adult Shoppe with Deadly-Hysterical Consequences |
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Giants Awarded Minority Status as Pants Impaired |
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Bin Laden Spent Final Hours Watching Baywatch Marathon |
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ACLU Condemns Ocean’s Treatment of Bin Laden’s Body |
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Alternate Royal Wedding Plans, Code Name: Operation Vegas Elope |
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Orcs Vying to Overthrow Sauron through Social Sites |
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FAA Bans Booze for Controllers, Recliners on Probation |
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National Safety Council to Discontinue CPR on Grounds it’s "Too Gross" |
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The Garbage Gestapo Has Come to Mayberry |
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Trump’s Hairdresser Calling for Exploratory Committee |
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Daily Discord Ranked #1 among Discord Contributors |
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Flames/Oilers Hockey Check Causes Deadly Explosion |
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Japanese Nuclear Engineers Seeking "Expert" Advice from Springfield Man |
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God Angry with Obama for Supporting Republican Energy Views? |
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Neocons to Defund NPR to Raise Funds to Bomb Syria |
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Discord Apology XXXV: The Fast and the Edit-less |
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Plume with a View: The Best Place to View Radioactive Cloud is Southwestern U.S. |
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U.S. Cooling Japanese Reactors with Help from Snow Miser? |
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Texas Governor Calling for Death of Illinois Governor Who Abolished Death Penalty |
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Pope Tells Altar Boys to "Get the Flock Out of Here" |
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Being a Fox News Contributor: Few are Chosen, Fewer Still are Called |
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Environmentalists Reintroduce Liberals into Several Mississippi Cities |
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In Search of the "God Particle" LHC Finds Something Completely Different |
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Desperate to Maintain Power Gaddafi Turns to Standup |
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Dr. Zaius Banishes Democratic Leadership to Forbidden Zone |
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Subatomic Particles Protest Outside of LHC |
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Canarsie Couple Resurrects Stone Age Fertility Ritual |
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Dumbledore Remains Headmaster Despite Prolonged Muggle Uprising |
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47 Hobbits Missing while Working on Google Middle-Earth Project |
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Last Day in Office Mubarak to be Entombed in Great Pyramid of Giza |
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Ruperteiser Scrooge: A Post Christmas Carol Post |
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Ghetto Shaman Threat Level Raised to Red: World Tour Over |
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All Two Hundred "N" Words Removed from Huckleberry Finn Resurface in Hillary Clinton’s Publication It Takes a Village |
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Starbucks Offers 146oz 24 shot Bucket-O-Joe |
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Massive Bird Droppings Reported In Arkansas and Louisiana |
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Missing Snake Found Panhandling in Boston Subway |
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Narnia Boasts Successful Enrichment of a Weapons-Grade Mythical Element |
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Professor Changes Twain Classic to The Adventures of Dingleberry Dan |
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Seven Mythical Creatures Dead after Botched Narnian Drone Attack |
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Natalie Portman Pregnant with Twins! Is Hubby Slipping Toward Dark Side? |
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Discord’s Pierce Winslow Bids to Buy Phoenix Coyotes |
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Straight Marine Mistakenly "Comes Out" After DADT Verdict |
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Hoover Dam Bridge Dismantled to Save Flying Salmon |
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The New York Times Suing The Daily Discord…Again |
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WikiLeaks: The Discord Makes Stuff Up! |
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Apple to Unleash the iPud |
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Massive Ice Deposits Found in Man’s Freezer |
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Supreme Being Riled by Wikileaks! |
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Best Wishes in Your Future Endeavors Mick Zano |
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Airport Offers "Happy Ending" Security Screenings |
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Giant Ghetto Shaman Head Unearthed in Clifton! |
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Discord Apology Episode II: Attack of the Groans |
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Discord Derides Daily Show for Rally Folly |
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The Bard of Wasilla Tweets! |
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Dark Rider Sightings Shock Shirefolk |
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Post O’Donnell’s Defeat November 2nd Declared National Masturbation Day |
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Obama Sells Texas to Mexican Drug Cartel |
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SUCCESS! |
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The Ghetto Shaman: Soul Retriever or Foul Deceiver? |
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Ancient Dr. Zeuss Books Unearthed in Greece |
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Petraeus Urges Discord to Halt Plans for Egg a Radical Muslim Cleric Day |
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Discord Declares October 31st Egg a Radical Muslim Cleric Day |
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Backyard Beer Summit: Obama Meets Jon Stewart and CNN’s Rick Sanchez over Beer |
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Pictures of Discord’s D.C. Mall Rally Doctored? |
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Discord’s "I’m Having a Hard Time Giving a Shit" Rally Flops |
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Ghost Scooter Haunts Northern England |
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Pope Delivers Henry VIII’s Annulment: Queen Anne Boleyn Resurrected in Wembley Stadium Revival |
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Discord Seeks Mob Protection from Devo |
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Devo Calling for Beheading of Discord Staff |
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Discord Threatens to Burn the Duran! |
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The Obama’s Version of Mary Poppins Opens on Broadway |
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Cocaine Found in Paris |
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On Five Year Anniversary of Katrina, Last Victims Led from Superdome |
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FDA Approves Morning After/Roofies Combo |
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I’m Working with Dingbats! More Discord Editors Fired |
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Kubrick Directed Obama Family Gulf Swim! |
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Petraeus to Expand Don’t Ask Don’t Tell to His War Exit Strategies |
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Several Missing Women Surface in Discord Contributor’s Freezer |
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A Confused Senator Nelson Refuses to Confirm American Idol Judge Nomination |
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Over 6,000 Daily Discord Emails Leaked to the Public |
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Plot to Bomb VP Biden’s Vocal Chords Mistakenly Foiled |
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BP Photoshopper Vows to Make the Gulf Spill Look Better, One Pixel at a Time |
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Miley Cyrus Encouraged to Visit Virtual Rehab to Prepare for Real Thing |
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A Big Thank You to N/A and Other Inane Website Statistics |
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Gibson Admits His Portrayal on South Park is "Eerily Accurate" |
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Kobe Bryant to Announce Location of Next Planned Sexual Assault in One-Hour Special Announcement |
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In Bid for Reality TV Spot, Octomom Sends Children on Cross Atlantic Flying Canoe Trip |
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Many Spend the 4th Reminiscing with Fox News: Harkening Back to a Time of Rampant Patriotism and ‘We’re # 1’ Absurdities |
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State of Emergency Declared as Wave of Incompetence Slams into Washington |
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BP Gusher Now Spewing Guinness! |
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Jesus Fingers Zeus as Assailant in Police Lineup |
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Valdez Vet to Pilot Petroleum Pickup |
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Zeus Claims Responsibility for Destroying Ohio Jesus Statue |
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HELP WANTED: m/f/other POSITION: President of large North American country |
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Daily Discord Admits to Photoshopping Giant Guatemalan Sink Hole |
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What the Fuck Did I Do? Self Background Check for People Who Can’t Remember College |
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Ann Coulter Sued by Opportunistic Leftist Bitches |
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God Responds to Daily Discord’s "Draw Muhammad Day" Entry |
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BP Last Week: "Spill Tiny Compared to Ocean." BP This Week: "Earth’s Demise Insignificant compared to Whole Universe." |
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Putin: Kicking Some Pirate Heine |
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Everybody Photoshop Muhammad Day? |
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NASA Probe Glitch: Scout is Spirit’s Bitch |
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Poll Finds Nine out of Ten Atheists Prefer Mormons over Jehovah Witnesses |
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Discord to Cancel Draw Mohammed in Drag Day |
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Hawk V. Alien: Hawking Calls for Preemptive Attack on All Class M Planets |
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Heroin Addicts Protest Military’s Plan to Eradicate Opium in Afghanistan |
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Bat Boy of Weekly World News Mauls The Onion’s Area Man |
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Vatican to Use Harry Potter’s ‘Sorting Hat’ to Pick Next Pope |
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Jesus to be Brought Before Grand Jury in Church Abuse Case |
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Battle Beneath the Planet of Another Discord Apology |
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Black Box Reveals Polish President’s Desire to Restore the Polish Joke |
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U.S. Military to Weaponize Biden’s Mouth |
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Discord Editors Indicted on Error Charges |
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Putin Blames Russia’s Poor Olympic Performance on Global Warming |
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Second Inconvenient Truth Linked to Al Gore’s Cross-Dressing |
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Long-Term Cannabis Use Linked to Partying in Lab Rats |
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Regional Envoy for Crash Test Union Mannequins Calls for Strike |
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Fledgling Discord Freelancers Felled by Unfriendly Fusillade |
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Jesus Tells Obama to "Grow a Pair" |
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A Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Engineer Exposed as Al-Qaeda Operative! |
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City’s Expansion of Zombie Addiction Clinic Questioned |
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U.S. National Park Service: Canada Sold to Exxon Mobile |
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Job Stimulus Package Patterned after Male Enhancement Pill Cialis |
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Are Anti-Depressants Destroying the Traditional Blues Band? |
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Daily Discord’s CEO to Ban All Acronym Jokes (BAAJ) |
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Military Wiccans Denounce Don’t Cast Don’t Spell |
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Obama’s Economic Team Seen Entering Cash Advance Establishment |
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Revenge of "Another Discord Apology" |
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Toyota Announces Fix for Stuck Gas Pedals and Failed Brakes |
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Discord Sues Sarah Palin on Charges of Self Satire |
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Haitian Refugees Housed in Guantanamo Mistakenly Tortured |
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Super Bowl Ads Unaffordable: CBS to Replay Footage of Janet Jackson’s Breast |
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Vegas Blue Man Group Jumps Director James Cameron in Alley |
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Obama Admits The Count Tallied Jobs Created by the Stimulus Package |
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Rescue Called Off in Haiti: Too Many Survivors Asking to Return to Rubble |
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iTit Set to Perk up Winter Sales |
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Silly Hat Day Goes Unnoticed at Afghani Parliament |
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Gallagher’s Autobiography Melonoma Moments Hammered by Critics |
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The Libranos |
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Napolitano Finds No Evidence of Her Own Competence |
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Bride of "Another Discord Apology" |
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Bacon Brownies an Al-Qaeda Plot? |
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Archeologist Dates Great Pyramid of Vegas to 1991 AD |
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Iran Insists their 'Death to America Jihad-9' Nuclear Warheads are for Peaceful Purposes Only |
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HIV Infections Spread During World AIDS Day Debacle |
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Second Bow Comes with a Not so Subtle Message |
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Mayor Attacks Obama for Preempting Charlie Brown X-mas in America’s Fartland |
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If a Woods Drives into a Tree with Nobody Around to Recount It, Does It Make a Sound? |
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Long Island Wal-Mart Celebrates Lack of Black Friday Fatalities this Year |
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Foghorn Leghorn Rocks Holder’s World |
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Obama Calls China Visit a Success: Annual Fee Waived and Two Late Payment Charges Lifted |
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Mahmoud Abbas Vows to Rid Palestine of Himself |
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Et tu Stewarte? Discord Sues The Daily Show and Declares War on American Digest |
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Apocalypse Now: The Daily Discord Secretly Enriching Uranium? |
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Ghetto Shaman Implicated in Sedona Death Lodge Incident |
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Super Fox Me: Discord Staffer Snaps During 24 Hour Fox News Blogathon |
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Additional Stimulus Funds Target Obama’s Sinking Poll Numbers |
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Henee Family Balloon Hoax History |
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I WANT TO BELIEVE: American Digest Isn’t Abducting Our X-Files Shit |
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Afghani Troop-Level Decision Shifts from Accelerated Contemplation Phase to Advanced Hesitation Phase |
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Yet Another Empty Discord Apology |
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Monty Python Turns Forty! Discord Staffer Laments of Life Pre-Python |
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Wayne Gretzky Goes from the Great One to the Late One: Calls it Quits without Actually Calling |
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Austin Police Chief to Criminalize Bloggers! |
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Bin Laden Targets Oktoberfest! Daily Discord Declares War on Al-Qaeda |
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God Punishes Southeast For Opposing Public Option |
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Hey, Let’s Show the World How Well We’re Doing on Emissions by Hosting the G20 in Pittsburgh |
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Governor David A. Paterson: Running Blind |
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Bin Laden Tape and Pelosi Close-Up Combine to Raise National Threat Level |
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H1N1 Straining Human/Cyborg Relations |
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Obama Appoints Girl Scout as FEMA Czar |
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Winslow Cancels Discord One Year Anniversary Celebration |
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Obamacare to not Cover Tourettes Syndrome; Congressman Pissed |
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Planting Some New All-Natural Breast Implants |
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The Rise and Propofall of Michael Jackson |
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Why I Refuse to Vote in Afghani Elections to Enjoy Some Allah-Approved Domestic Violence |
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Recession Prompts Six Flags to Downgrade |
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Rahm Emanuel Named “Sith of Interest” in Death of Robert Novak |
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Eagles Sign Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme to 5-year Deal |
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Pelosi to Oversee Obama’s Death Panels |
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11th Grader Insists He’s “Too Big to Fail” |
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Clinton Admits the Two Girls He Brought Back From His Oriental Envoy Are Not the Missing Journalists |
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Obama Apologizes to Geico Cavemen for the Pleistocene Neanderthal Genocide (PNG) |
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Brewhaha: Obama Beer Summit Breaks Down to Brew Swayin’ Bust |
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Police Seek Ghetto Shaman as Person of Interest in Jackson Case |
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Lowell Observatory Discovers Really Hot Chick in Sedona |
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A CEO Update: Winslow Insists Michael Jackson Spoof Articles Should Taper Off by Mid-to-Late October |
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Russians Suggest Buttons for New World Currency |
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Jackson’s Doctor Insists He Only Prescribed the Diprivan, Xanax, Valium, Percoset, Demerol, Oxys, and Vicodin: But I Told Michael to Lay Off the Big Jug Extra Malt Liquor |
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And on the Third Day He Rose: Jackson Emerges from UCLA Morgue |
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Al Qaeda Planning to Use Our Own National Birds Against Us! |
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McMahon Replaces St. Peter! First Job: Heeeeeeere’s Michael! |
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Michael Jackson’s Autopsy Secrets Revealed! |
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Talk Awfully and Carry a Big Dick: The George W. Bush Story |
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Mick Zano Detained After Slim Jim Factory Explosion |
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Specially Processed Swine Food Sparks Global Spamdemic? |
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Archeologist Ignores Disembodied Call of Subterranean Old Ones |
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Sadistic Cryptozoologist Found Plucking Feathers off of Rare Spotted Owl |
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DAVID CARRADINE DIES IN HANGKOK, THAIHAND |
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Al-Jazeera to Broadcast New Bin Laden Videotape in HD?! |
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Proof of Jurassic Ark? |
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Jurassic Ark? |
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Pelosi Deemed Too Stupid for Any Accountability on Torture |
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Winslow: Discord to Return to its Glorious Past |
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Trump U.N. Hotel & Casino |
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Was Cheney the Sith Lord or Merely the Sith Apprentice? |
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From My Cold Dead Opposable Thumbs |
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Local Forty-Six Year Old Decides to Finally Take Down Farrah Poster |
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New World Currency Provoking the Paranoid? |
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Discord Holds Protests in Six Cities to Bash the Media: No One Covers It |
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Thou Shart That? |
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Mounting Pressure Forces Discord Staff to Return Stimulus Bonuses |
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Easter Special Edition: Jesus Lives! |
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Struggling Discord to Slash Crossword Puzzle! |
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Economy Forces Seven of Ten Discord Staffers to Move Back in with Their Parents |
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First Soylent Green Plant Requesting Bailout Funds |
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Palin Outraged About Something |
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Obama Refuses to Dismantle Bush’s All Seeing Eye |
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City Plans Several Soup-Kitchen Practice Runs |
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Dems Confused Why Billions of Imaginary Dollars Not Helping Economy |
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DNA Reveals Santa Slayer Actually Just Santa’s Helper |
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Obama Administration Already Low on Promises |
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Republicans Insist They Are Not Partisan, Just Stupid |
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Marijuana Linked to Losing Sponsors |
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AC/DC Admits All Nineteen Albums Really Just One Long Song |
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Al-Qaeda to Close Twenty-Seven Training Camps |
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Pork, It’s What’s for Package |
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Obama to Compromise on Immigration: Will Build Giant Wall Around Bush’s Texas Compound |
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Yankees Acquire O’Liberte’ |
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Setting the Record Straight: A Daily Discord Apology |
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Bush to Cancel Obama’s Honeymoon Period |
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Attempt to Fly Texas Panhandle to Gulf Deemed ‘Abysmal Failure’ |
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Recent Bombings Decimate Gaza’s Tourism |
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Ozzy Sues Sabbath Tribute Band for Plagiarism |
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For Appeal O.J. Requests His First Jury |
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Ancient Skeletal Remains May Just Be Keith Richards |
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Bush Hopes to Calm Global Market by Leaving Soon |
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Dexy of the Midnight Runners Vows Second Hit Coming |
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World Economy So Bleak Japanese Cheer Godzilla’s Return |
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Indian Probe Lands on Moon |
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No Link Between Discord Executive and Corrupt Illinois Gov. Blagojevich |
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Discord Announces Two Billion Dollar Bailout Request |
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San Francisco Reinstates the Guillotine for Proposition 8" Voters |
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Is Obama Taking This Cabinet-of-Rivals-Thing Too Far? |
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AARP: 50 Years of Innovation, Inspiration, and Incontinence |
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Hurricane Norbert Targeted Weather Station that Named It |
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Hit By Economy Woes Disney to Lay Off Sneezy and Doc |
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First Soylent Green Plant to Open in Florida |
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Obama Announces His Four Point Econ Plan: Orders Next Four Digits on Debt Clock |
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Burger King Mascot Linked to Night Terrors in Children |
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Man Hastens Plastic Decomposition While Keeping Family Fed |
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Enola Gay Flown Over Iraqi Airspace: Drops Thousands of 'Hint, Hint' Flyers |
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Jesus’ Agenda Found! |
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Obama Clarifies PA Misstatement: Meant ‘Bible Thumping Hickwads’ |
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Obama’s Campaign for Change is Every Beggar’s Dream |
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A Recent Email Exchange Between Barak Obama and the Discord’s Own, Mick Zano |
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Study Finds Obese Children at Greater Risk for Fat Jokes |
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Broadway Play on Erectile Dysfunction Flops |
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Kim Jong-Il’s “Collapse” Now Deemed a Wardrobe Malfunction |
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Study Finds Fibromyalgia Linked to Bull Shit |
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Huge Stone Egg Discovered Under Notre-Dame Gargoyle |
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Desperate for Experience Points, Dems Opt for Controversial Mind-Meld |
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The Discord to Lay Off Seventeen Editers |
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Band of Klingons Ruin Local Civil War Reenactment |
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Pterodactyls and Thunderbirds Account for Most UFO Sightings Says Elvis Clone |
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Hurricane Kills 7, Harasses 3, Before Downgrading to Tropical Storm in an Effort to Elude Police |
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Palin Faces Ethics Panel |
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Cloning of Japanese Chia Pet Condemned as ‘Abomination’ by local Sea Monkeys |
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Bones of Ancient "Real" Republican Unearthed |
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Ahmadinejad Denies Last Name is Long, Confusing |
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Virgin Contracts VD: Hailed as Immaculate Infection |
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Viagra Warns: Number of Uncontrollable Erections Set to Rise |
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ACLU Demands That Undocumented Felons be Given the Right to Vote |
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Hope Wanes of Ever Finding Amelia Earhart Alive |
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Time Traveling Prankster Tells Aztecs the Sun Will Extinguish Without Human Blood. |
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Top Ten List |
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Top Ten Pierce Winslow Pet Peeves |
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Ghetto Shaman’s Best Smeller List |
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Top Ten Worst Bar Names |
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Top 10 Real Reasons Sarah Palin Resigned |
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Newly Discovered Seuss Manuscripts Are Troubling |
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Top Ten Inspirational Rock Songs |
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Top 10 Butch Rocksters Showing Their Feminine Side |
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Top 10 Social Programs Even Obama Won’t Fund |
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The Daily Discord’s Top 10 Survival Guide |
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Top Ten Reasons Why the Government Should Not Nationalize Anything |
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Top Ten Things We Should Nationalize Before They’re Gone |
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Top 10 Jobs Created by the Stimulus Package |
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Discord Horoscope |
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Our Obama Wish List: Please Restore... |
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Top Ten Fictitious Drinks and Places to Enjoy Them |
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The Official Crank Manifesto 2008 “This Smells Like Ass” Top Fifteen |
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Top 10 things I learned at college |
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Top Ten Failed Football Mascots |
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Top 10 Things to Slap on Back of Friend’s Unattended Laptop |
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The Rock Gods Fatal Flaws |
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Top Ten Worst Documentaries Of All Time |
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Worst Rock Solo Careers of All Time |
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Fox's Tentative Fall Line-Up |
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Top 10 Dictatorial Sitcoms |