Sarcastically Salving Society
Home of the Transcosmetic Party
A Place for Raging Moderates, Tragic Optimists, and Integral Outcasts
December 22, 2014
OBAMA DECLARES WAR ON POISONOUS FLORIDA CATERPILLAR • PELOSI: REPUBLICANS ENDANGER CIVILIZATION • ZANO: PELOSI HAS RARE, ACCURATE STATEMENT • WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO SEND SHIT FOR THIS MARQUEE/TICKER THING, ZANO! JESUS, WHAT AM I NOT PAYING YOU FOR? —PIERCE WINSLOW • OBAMA ADMITS TO SPENDING ALL NATION'S FLEX-FUNDS ON GOLF, STARBUCKS AND BEER • CONGRESS APPROVES BILL TO...HA HA HAH! KIDDING! CONGRESS DOESN’T APPROVE BILLS • TOP LIBERALS STRESS DIPLOMACY WHEN NEGOTIATING WITH EBOLA VIRUS •
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Buddhist Geeks
Presidential All Seeing Eye

Kiester Island

Khamenei Rork and Tattoo Ahmadinejad

Bill Clinton and his Asian Harem

Obama squares of with Gandalf the Gray over Health Care

Tactics to Draw Out Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan Questioned, Danish Mohammed cartoons for sale

Second Inconvenient Truth Linked to Al Gore’s Cross-Dressing

Moe-hammad
The Hand of God
Under Siege! Top 10 Reasons Seagal Should Not Be AZ’s Governor
Under Siege! Top 10 Reasons Seagal Should not be AZ’s Governor

1. He’s Half Past Dead (2002), or is that our senior Senator?

2. He’s Chosen the Path Beyond Thought (2001). See anything on Fox News.

3. He’s got a Fire Down Below (1997)...which could be syphilis.

See All 10...
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The Daily Discord’s Top 10 Dictatorial Sitcoms of All Time

1. Despot Housewives

2. It’s Always Sunny in Damascus

3. Arrested Dismemberment

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Ted Cruz's Top 10 Role Models

1. That guy who flew his plane into IRS headquarters.

2. That woman who drove her car into the White House barrier.

3. That guy who voted for The Surge in Iran (he meant Iraq, God love him).

See All 10...
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Top 10: the Aftermath of NYC Comic-Con

1. Surrounding neighborhoods see 90% drop in wedgies, nuggies, and wet willies.

2. Batman captured and arrested by NYPD...a lot (bat utility belts prove ineffective)

3. Best costume goes to Homeless Mantis

See All 10...
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Top Ten Pierce Winslow Pet Peeves
  1. Mick Zano
  2. Plural of RPM is RPM, not RPMs moron
  3. The same thing goes for MPG
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Ghetto Shaman’s Best Smeller List
  1. Happy Hour Healer: A Shaman’s Ale
  2. The Tao of Skull Fucking, Editor’s Edition (rare)
  3. The Healing Powers of Certain Massage Parlors        
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Top Ten Worst Bar Names
  1. The Bewildered Skank
  2. The Scrotum and Mallet
  3. In Through the Out Door (named after a gay Led Zeppelin cover band)
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Top 10 Real Reasons Sarah Palin Resigned
  1. She is Having Mitt Romney’s Love Child
  2. Press About to Release Fact: She Really Can’t See Russia from There
  3. Busy Planning Hunt for Levi Johnston from Her Chopper
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Newly Discovered Seuss Manuscripts Are Troubling
  1. The Cat in Arafat
  2. Green Eggs and Hamas
  3. One Fish, Two Fish, White Fish, Jew Fish
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Top Ten Inspirational Rock Songs
  1. Queen’s Flash (he saved every one of us!)
  2. Zappa’s Don’t You Eat that Yellow Snow (it works on so many levels)
  3. Wang Chung’s Everybody Have Fun Tonight, Everybody Wang Chung Tonight (not rock, but never truer words were spoken)
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Top 10 Butch Rocksters Showing Their Feminine Side
  1. Traffic’s Low Spark of High Heeled Boys (where to even begin…)
  2. Van Halen’s Jump (Jump the shark is more like it.)
  3. Def Leppard’s Pour Some Sugar on Me (This coming from a pack of rock-god-posers who couldn’t even kill off their drummer properly.)
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The Daily Discord’s Top 10 Survival Guide
  1. Continue to procreate, you may need to eat your young
  2. Watch Survivor Man and remember which bugs are edible
  3. Start planting food now, like lasagna trees (are Hot Pockets annual or perennial?)
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Top Ten Reasons Why the Government Should Not Nationalize Anything
  1. HI
  2. I'M
  3. FROM
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Top Ten Things We Should Nationalize Before They’re Gone
  1. The National Hockey League (national is already in it!)
  2. The Lesbian Gladiator Website (I’m begging you here)
  3. The Daily Discord  (Soon to be America’s Only News Source)
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Top 10 Social Programs Even Obama Won’t Fund
  1. Fighting Childhood Obesity One Fat Little Fuck at a Time
  2. Moms for Masturbation (MfM)
  3. The Social Inclusion Club (members only)
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Top 10 Jobs Created by the Stimulus Package
  1. Bankruptcy Lawyer
  2. Crises Worker
  3. Suicide Hotline Operator
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Discord Horoscope

Aries (March 21-Aril 19) Your Hyundai will explode leaving a better handling black thing in your driveway. Bad week to eat licorice.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) You will be controlled by aliens from Rigel 4. They will make you act out the funnier American Idol episodes.

Gemini (March 21-Aril 19) Avoid dangling midgets.

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Our Obama Wish List: Please Restore...
  1. My 401K
  2. My House
  3. The Constitution
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Top Ten Fictitious Drinks and Places to Enjoy Them
  1. The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster – The Restaurant and the End of the Universe
  2. Fudd– The Beer & Brawl, Spittle County
  3. Moloko– Korovs Milk Bar (for all your ultra-violence needs)
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The Official Crank Manifesto 2008 “This Smells Like Ass” Top Fifteen
  • 1. Any bailout of anything (with the exception of boats?)
  • 2. Not seeing perp walks of Dodd, Franks, Paulson, Bernanke, Reid and Pulosi (don’t go away angry, just go away).
  • 3. Four more years of the Clinton administration, minus the guy who made it all work (Slick Willie, where are ya?).
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Top 10 things I learned at college
  • 10. Sincerity – I am a one girl man, Kim
  • 9. Diplomacy— It got me out of bar fights with men called Psycho.
  • 8. Persuasion – Helped me to get others to type, research, and edit my term papers.
See All 10...
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Top Ten Failed Football Mascots
  1. The Boston Stranglers
  2. The Detroit Gusty Autumn Breezes
  3. The Seattle Strap-Ons
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Top 10 Things to Slap on Back of Friend’s Unattended Laptop
  1. Shhh! Downloading Kiddie Porn
  2. Proud Inappropriate Toucher
  3. Hello Sailor
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The Rock Gods Fatal Flaws
  1. The Beatles (went to extremes to impress Jodie Foster)
  2. Led Zeppelin (shocked by death of drummer—didn’t they watch Spinal Tap?)
  3. The Rolling Stones (hired zombie/pirate to play lead guitar)
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Top Ten Worst Documentaries Of All Time
  1. Southwest Airline's Great Baggage Screening Outtakes Reel
  2. Going Up? The Musak Story
  3. The Accidental Martyr (starring Abdul "I strapped on what?" Rahman)
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Worst Rock Solo Careers of All Time
  1. David Lee Roth (Hello Yankee Rose—Goodbye Diamond Dave!)
  2. Art Garfunkle (Hello silence my old friend)
  3. Oats of Hall & Oats: (The Just Oats Tour)
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Fox's Tentative Fall Line-Up
  1. Survivor Tijuana: Anyone who makes it all night without a tattoo or an S.T.D. wins passage back to U.S.
  2. Coyote for a Day: contestants are tested on how many illegals they can sneak over the border.
  3. Pimp my Fridge Carton: The show that proves you don't have to live in a house to have bling.
See All 10...
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Top 10 Dictatorial Sitcoms
  1. Despot Housewives
  2. Extreme Homo Makeover (a lighthearted look at Iran's gay re-education program)
  3. Everybody Loves Chavez
See All 10...
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Discord Videos
S.T.Q. EP 2: the Ghosts of Oatman
S.T.Q. EP 2: The Ghosts of Oatman
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The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1
The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1
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 The Exciting Conclusion of Search Truth Quest: Ep 1
 Search Truth Quest: EP 1 PT 4:
Speed Powder
 Search Truth Quest: EP1 Part 3: Lair of the Hot Barista
 Search Truth Quest: Part 2 EP 1: Undulating Maggots of Doom
More Videos...
Decrepit Discord
 Reptilican Virus Spreading in the Elderly
 Adults...Shouldn't We Just Keep Electing Them?
 Zano’s 21 Day of Self-Imposed Ebola Isolation Deemed 'Job Avoidance' Stunt
 Before the Most Interesting Man in the World...
 The Ebola Spring
 Somehow This Captures the Essence of the Midterms
 High Life in the Pines Indie Music Festival: Featuring Lit
 Post Midterms: Discord Reaches Potty Humor Capacity
 Zano: Inconsolable, Sobbing and Refusing to Leave Local Bar
 Republicans Seize the Dung! Crape Diem?
 The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1
 Colorado's First Pot Related Fatality
 Congressman’s Protest in Front of Library Ends Poorly
 Typhoid Kaci? Will Obama Authorize Drone Strike on Quarantine-Violating Nurse?
 Jack Primus Thwarts Conservative Attempt to Reanimate Undead Voters
 Introducing the President and Vice President of the United States!
 Please Find Literate Folks to Defend the Constitution
 Second Hanks Lawsuit in As Many Weeks
 A Confused Canada Challenges ISIS to Pick up Hockey Game
 CDC Downplaying Ebola Victims Sudden Craving for Human Flesh
 Let’s Do the Time Warp Again
 Discord Endorses Warren Webb Ticket!
 Is the Constitution Obsolete in This Zano Nation?
 Discord Business Model Switching to "All Cats and Babies"
 The Exciting Conclusion of Search Truth Quest: Ep 1
 Discord Fast Approaching One Ad Per One Lawsuit Ratio
 Hundreds Washed to Sea During Cyclone Protest in India
 Kim Jong Un a No Show for Discord Beer Trek Competition
 Alternate Universe Vindicates Bush
 Discord Get Out the Vote Efforts Questioned
 Applause Trailing Off Mid-Set for Local Coffee Shop Duo
 As the Graham McCain Turns
 Once More Unto the Embassy Breach, Dear Friends
 Calvin and Hannity
 Battle Beneath the Planet of Benghazi
 Obama Deploys "Special Ebola Task Force" to Dallas
 Search Truth Quest: EP 1 PT 4:
Speed Powder
 White House Fence Jumper Squatting in East Room
 Flo Takes Massive Pay Cut Switching to Ailing “News” Blog
 Coalition of the Falling: Ebola Fed Ex
 Putin Annexes Pabst! Pabst Red Ruskies?
 Rise of the Radical Republican?  Boehner Inaction Figure Sold Separately
 Pope Appoints New Arches Bishop
 Is Dropping Ebola Victims on ISIL Brilliant or Diabolical?
 New Ray Rice Elevator Creating Fun and Controversy!
 Obama Creates Coalition of the Good Luck With That
 Scotland! Scotland! Scotland!
 Search Truth Quest: EP1 Part 3: Lair of the Hot Barista
 Draco Malfoy to Head Next Benghazi Witch Hunt
 Bigfoot Exonerated for Ripper Deaths!
 Giant Joint Image "Worth Its Weed in Gold" to Discord Photoshopper
 Sith Lord Revealed! Cheney Controlling President Through Darkside
 Danzig, Black Sabbath and Jesus
 In Show of Strength Obama Hoists Severed Head of Boehner on Meet the Press
 Grand Old Party to Ban Every Smarty
 Bands of Angry Displaced Cactus Roaming the Streets
 Missing Immigrant Children Smuggled to Swing States Via Metro-ground Railway
 Joan Rivers, Best Known for Her Role in the Muppets Take Manhattan, Is Dead at 81
 Rhyolite Nevada: a Place That Makes Other Ghost Towns Seem Bustling
 Is She No Better Than a Republican?
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