Sarcastically Salving Society Home of the Transcosmetic Party A Place for Raging Moderates, Tragic Optimists, and Integral Outcasts
March 11, 2014
GALLUP: DESPITE REPUBLICAN OPPOSITION UNINSURED RATE LOWEST SINCE 2008 • A CONFUSED ALEX BONE COMPARES ACTIONS OF HITLER, HIMMLER AND GOEBBLES TO THAT OF "NAZI GERMANY" • POPE FRANCIS ADMITS TO BEATING UP CARDINALS FOR THEIR LUNCH MONEY • FUNNY THING HOW EVERYONE WHO DRINKS LESS THAN ME DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND ANYONE WHO DRINKS MORE THAN ME IS A SHIT SHOW • "GLOBAL WARMING NOT SUPPORTED BY THE DATA" —TED CRUZ • "UMM, YOU’RE THINKING OF TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS, THE BIBLE, AND ALL REPUBLICAN HELD BELIEFS" —MICK ZANO • I AM STILL SHOCKED TROPIC THUNDER WAS NOT NOMINATED FOR ANY OSCARS BACK IN 2008... WHEN WILL THE PAIN DISSIPATE? •
Topics Arts & Culture  Discord to Move Away From Content in Favor of 24/7 Pledge Drives  And the Tasteless Joke of the Year Goes To...  The Captain and Tennille Split Up: Millions Rejoice  On News of Death Zano Downplays Ramis/Discord Feud  Dolphin Mothers Boycott Discord  Satellite Confirms the Only Light in N. Korea Is a Motel 6  93,000 Liters of Beer Are Lost Each Year in Facial Hair in the UK Alone  Discord's Daily Discharge  Stock in Grumpy Cat Collapses  A Confused Putin Pardons Justin Bieber More... News & Politics  CPAC Run!  U.S. Deploys Cast of Game of Thrones to Crimea  I Didn’t Leave the Discord, the Discord Left Me: Oh, and I Didn’t Have Email  Star Trek V Space Case  Discord Celebrates First Accurate GOP Prediction of 21st Century  Arizona’s SB1062: Fabulous Ousts Crabulous  Benghazi Isn’t a Scandal, It’s a Cry for Help  The Case for Obama's Impeachment, Part Five: NSA  The Case for Obama's Impeachment, Part Four: Benghazi  The Case for Obama's Impeachment, Part Three: Obamacare More... Science & Technology  Massive Home Scrotal Defibrillator Recall!  Are Fish Getting Hooked the Wrong Way?  The Lowell Observatory Incident: Putting the Ass Back Into Asstronomy    Ancient Alien Secrets Revealed!  Timber Wolf Mistakenly Reintroduced Into Mall of America  Due to Warming Scientists Move Doomsday Clock!  Huge Stone Egg Discovered Under Notre-Dame Gargoyle  Hormel Suing for Always Ending up in "The Folder"  Study: Dolphins Capable of “Swearing Like Sailors” More... Spirituality & Enlightenment  After "No Hell" Bomb, Pope Tweets "And the Bible's Kind of a Shit Show"  Pope  God Implicated in Climate Change Hoax  In Rare Show of Force Zeus Blasts Jesus  God Furious Over Latest Discord Cartoon  Three Wise Men, Two Shepherds, One Camel Arrested for Crimes Against Secularism  Congregation Still a Little Cross Over Pastor Prank  Proof of an Evolution of Consciousness?  Vatican Sets up Special Child Abuse Committee  Pope Accused of Spying on God More... Sports  Investigation Uncovers Problem With Sochi Opening Ceremony  Disaster Strikes Last Day of Olympics  Discord Super Game Coverage  Putin Determined to Butch-Up Olympics  NHL to Skip to Playoffs for 2013-2014 Season  US Men’s League Opening Doors for Ousted European CHL Goalies  Beasts & Men with Tits: Unsung Heroes of the NFL  Oprah Admits to Using Ratings Enhancing Drugs  The Annual Pine Forest Pick-Up Games Commence  New London Connecticut Mistakenly Prepares for Olympics More... Weird & Haunted Travel  Top 10 Guinness Pours in Tucson Revealed!  The Brewery Trap: "Let’s Get a Little One"  Ghost Busted: Team Discord Bested by Rank Amateur  HIKE:  A Four Letter Word for a Reason  Bart Simpson Claims responsibility for "Nightmare Cruise"  The Haunted Palace at Prescott’s Whiskey Row  Plight of the Phoenix: How I Stopped Worrying About On-Coming Traffic and Learned to Love the Valley  Interview by a Vampire  Durango and the Haunted Hotel Hatrick  Haunted Silverton: A Grand Imperial Poltergeist More... Contributors Mick Zano  Discord to Move Away From Content in Favor of 24/7 Pledge Drives  CPAC Run!  Investigation Uncovers Problem With Sochi Opening Ceremony  And the Tasteless Joke of the Year Goes To...  Star Trek V Space Case  The 80's Called and They Want Their Bad Joke Back  Arizona’s SB1062: Fabulous Ousts Crabulous  Benghazi Isn’t a Scandal, It’s a Cry for Help  On News of Death Zano Downplays Ramis/Discord Feud  Top 10 Guinness Pours in Tucson Revealed! More... Pokey McDooris  I Didn’t Leave the Discord, the Discord Left Me: Oh, and I Didn’t Have Email  Institutional Inhibitors to US Development: Stand Back & Embrace the Suckage  Cultural Facilitation for Dummies  The Good Opinions of Others  The Transcosmetic Party: Evolve or Dissolve  POSITION DESIRED: ADVISOR TO THE INTEGRAL WARLORD  Institutional Inhibitors to National Development (Besides the Discord)  DON’T CALL ME I’LL CALL YOU  The Audacity of, "Nope"  Fear And Loathing With Mr. Giggles More... Tony Ballz  The Captain and Tennille Split Up: Millions Rejoice  Pope  Hef and the Dead  Titties and Jesus  Record Store Day  LSD, Wilco, and the Monte V: A Cautionary Tale  The Worst Song Ever Written  Brah!!  Beer And Bloating In Camp Verde  Zombienomics or Night of the Living Prez More... Alex Bone  Dolphin Mothers Boycott Discord  Religion Added to DSM-V  Obama Sells Arizona Back to Mexico  Tobacco Lobbyists Introduce Spokesman Kenny the Crawdad  New DSM-V Adds Religion As a Funde-Mental Disorder  Discord Faces Hostile Invertebrate Takeover  COMING SOON!  Taser Parties: Tase Me Again, Bro!  Crawdads Protest Outside of Discord Tower  Alex Bone’s Get Poor Quick Scheme More... The Crank  Only Your $ Stays in Vegas  Cluster Blank: the Movie  Umm, We Don’t Do Rebuttals Anymore, Crank  Extreme Politics: the Baghdad Bob Syndrome  Ant Invasion: Them! Them!!  Star Trek: Into Beigeness  My Life in Retail: Part One  New York Guido Meets Arizona Gun Show  Beasts & Men with Tits: Unsung Heroes of the NFL  The GOP: Snatching Defeat from the Jaws of Victory More... Pierce Winslow  Duck Dynasty’s Downfall: It’s Mallard Time  The Daily Discord Presents  Empire's Austerity Measures Impacting Sith Recruitment  Yoda Turns to the Dark Assad  I See You! and Will Take Your Mordor Order!  Israeli Site Rape or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love Surveillance  Space For Sale  It's Alive, It's ALIVE!  GOP Reveals Vision For Upcoming Budget Negotiations  GOP Furious with Obama's Permanent Changes to the Capitol Building More... Dave Atsals  Eternal Damnation, Probably  Pope Incinerates Hundreds During Last Public Appearance  You Don't Have Romney to Kick Around Anymore  Umm, What Are You People Selling Exactly?  Last Data from Curiosity...  Can the Ghetto Shaman Save American Idol?  Join the Unemployed to Help Romney’s Chances  Sarkozy Bitten by Werewolf!  Apparently, Two Beers and a Free Meal = $48.50  Did Romney Pander to Vegas Voters? More... Sean Kelsey  Walkers: They Have Always Been Among Us  Look, All the Mad Hatters Are at the Tea Party  BP Spends 1.3 Billion on Oil Gusher Video Makeover  Being the Worst NHL Fans Year after Year  You Shall Not Pass!!!!  Try Stealing This One American Digest!  Did Darwin's Family Influence His Theory?  Parachuting from Responsibility to Profit    I Don't Care What You Do to Me... More... Features By Type  Cartoons  Spoof News  Articles  Top Ten Lists  Advice Columns  Video Clips  Faux Ads Distinguished Discord, The Best Of  Cartoons  Spoof News  Articles  Advice Columns Discord Dream Cabinet Discord Disciples (Companion Sites) Subscribe Now Search The Discord About Us Contact Us Site Map Be our friend... ...with benefits Show us your tweets... ...and we'll show you ours		Local Exorcism Linked to Gastritis "It wasn’t so much the devil, as the devil food cake." Go back... More Cartoons...	Discord's Daily Discharge Arizona Cable Company Airs Our 1st Commercial! The Lowell Observatory Incident: Putting the Ass Back Into Asstronomy Breaking News Into Tiny Shards of Sensationalism Startling Ineptness Haunts Discord Ghost Investigation! Haunted Weatherford More Videos... Ticket Emerges That Finally Captures the GOP’s Values Discord's Daily Discharge Religion Added to DSM-V Reaganomics: Don't Let an Economist Tell You Different Stock in Grumpy Cat Collapses Haunted Tucson: the Hotel Congress Have You Spoken to Your Kids About Benghazi? A Confused Putin Pardons Justin Bieber Discord Super Game Coverage The Main Reason Republicans Will Lose the Future Hef and the Dead During SOTU Obama Mentioned Alimony 14 Times and Chardonnay 37 Times Rosetta Scandal: Obama’s Blunders Deciphered! Egypt Builds Cage for Prospective Leader...Just in Case God Implicated in Climate Change Hoax Obama Sells Arizona Back to Mexico ObamaCare Unveils New "Fun Size" Healthcare Enrollments As Arizona’s CPS Closes Brewer Opens the "Jan-Line" Hillary Asks Discord to "Stop Helping!" Arizona Cable Company Airs Our 1st Commercial! Journalism Lives!…umm, on the Left In Rare Show of Force Zeus Blasts Jesus Koch Industries Acquires Umbrella Corporation and Skynet Either Way Christie Was Not Going to Be Nominated To Close Nuclear Deal 2-Million Iranians Must Sign up for Obamacare Obama's Policies Continue to Baffle Millennials IRS: Incessant Republican Scandals Finally a Sensible Bathroom Floor Sign Obamalypse Now: How the ACA May Really End America Lines, Lines, Everywhere Are Lines Liz Cheney Unleashes Polar Vortex After Failed Senatorial Bid Only Your $ Stays in Vegas Under Siege! Top 10 Reasons Seagal Should Not Be AZ’s Governor Kerry’s Shadow Making Progress in Mideast Peace Talks God Furious Over Latest Discord Cartoon Fast & Furious Weapons Found in Benghazi North Korea Vows to Change Brown Paneling by 2015 Local Forty-Six Year Old Decides to Finally Take Down Farrah Poster Massive Home Scrotal Defibrillator Recall! Three Wise Men, Two Shepherds, One Camel Arrested for Crimes Against Secularism Discord Pushes Boundary of Billboard Ad Decency Discord Sued for Wrecking Another Meme Duck Dynasty’s Downfall: It’s Mallard Time Dear UPS, Where's My Fishing Pole!! How the Grinch Stole Health Care Are Fish Getting Hooked the Wrong Way? Eternal Damnation, Probably I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide The Lowell Observatory Incident: Putting the Ass Back Into Asstronomy Is Dumb Breaking up With Dumber? Fox News: Putting the ID Back in Ideology NRA Boasts Improved Homework Completion Since Newtown Congregation Still a Little Cross Over Pastor Prank The Daily Discord Is Almost As Good As My Bat Blog Obamacare Woes Make Me Long for Benghazi Headlines Jong-Un Named As Mandela's Successor Obama Torches National Tree With Flare Gun Untitled Proof of an Evolution of Consciousness? Sardines Complain of Cramped Packing Conditions
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