Sarcastically Salving Society Home of the Transcosmetic Party A Place for Raging Moderates, Tragic Optimists, and Integral Outcasts
April 16, 2014
AS PART OF A LIBERAL PLOY, COASTAL CITIES ACROSS THE GLOBE DUMPING BILLIONS INTO "CLIMATE CHANGE" FLOOD PREVENTION • DEPRESSION INCREASES CHANCE OF SADNESS IN COSTLY DISCORD STUDY • RETRACTION: OUR HEADLINE "MICK ZANO TO REPLACE JOHNNY CARSON" SHOULD HAVE READ "STEPHEN COLBERT TO REPLACE DAVID LETTERMAN" • FOX NEWS POLL: ONLY FOUR PEOPLE ON OBAMACARE AND THEY ALL HATE IT • FRANTIC MESSAGE FROM FLIGHT 370'S BLACK BOX, "BATTERY RUNNING LOW. PLEASE PLUG IN THE AC ADAPTER." • OBAMA PROMOTES ECONOMIC OPPURTUNTIES FOR WOMEN "BUT NOT IN THIS COUNTRY" • BONO'S U2-MAPS COMPANY COLLAPSES: MAIN COMPLAINT "I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR, HERE, WHERE THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME" •
Topics Arts & Culture  Coming Soon! Summer of 2014! or Thereabouts  Support From Superheroes for This Site Waning  And the Runner up for the Worst Joke of the Week Goes To...  Discord Poll: One in Two Bears Ready to Devour Colbert!  High End Vegas Carnies Make Compelling Pro-Marijuana Case  Your Pets Don't Love You  Discord Staff Vows to Repeat the Mistakes of Last St. Patrick's Day  Discord to Move Away From Content in Favor of 24/7 Pledge Drives  And the Tasteless Joke of the Year Goes To...  The Captain and Tennille Split Up: Millions Rejoice More... News & Politics  While Searching for Malaysian Flight GOP Finds Next Benghazi  Toast, It’s What’s for Climate  Jeb Bush V Hillary Clinton 2016  Sebelius Escorted Out of Hearing by Rocky the Rollout Rodent  GOP Frontrunner to Begin Tour With Eastwood’s Chair  Cuban Twitter Crisis?  Now an Important Summary of Charles Koch's Recent Wall Street Journal Diatribe  Jeb Bush Unveils Family Tree Showing No Relation to Former President  Should Terrorist Groups Improve Admission Standards?  Stones Used to Pelt Border Agents Linked to Obama Rock Running Program More... Science & Technology  New Alzheimer’ Research Helps Mice Find Where They Left Their Car Keys  Archeologist Dates Great Pyramid of Vegas to 1991 AD  Al Gore Releases More Ozone-Depleting Gases Into the Atmosphere  Massive Home Scrotal Defibrillator Recall!  Are Fish Getting Hooked the Wrong Way?  The Lowell Observatory Incident: Putting the Ass Back Into Asstronomy    Ancient Alien Secrets Revealed!  Timber Wolf Mistakenly Reintroduced Into Mall of America  Due to Warming Scientists Move Doomsday Clock! More... Spirituality & Enlightenment  After "No Hell" Bomb, Pope Tweets "And the Bible's Kind of a Shit Show"  Pope  God Implicated in Climate Change Hoax  In Rare Show of Force Zeus Blasts Jesus  God Furious Over Latest Discord Cartoon  Three Wise Men, Two Shepherds, One Camel Arrested for Crimes Against Secularism  Congregation Still a Little Cross Over Pastor Prank  Proof of an Evolution of Consciousness?  Vatican Sets up Special Child Abuse Committee  Pope Accused of Spying on God More... Sports  Investigation Uncovers Problem With Sochi Opening Ceremony  Disaster Strikes Last Day of Olympics  Discord Super Game Coverage  Putin Determined to Butch-Up Olympics  NHL to Skip to Playoffs for 2013-2014 Season  US Men’s League Opening Doors for Ousted European CHL Goalies  Beasts & Men with Tits: Unsung Heroes of the NFL  Oprah Admits to Using Ratings Enhancing Drugs  The Annual Pine Forest Pick-Up Games Commence  New London Connecticut Mistakenly Prepares for Olympics More... Weird & Haunted Travel  Top 10 Guinness Pours in Tucson Revealed!  The Brewery Trap: "Let’s Get a Little One"  Ghost Busted: Team Discord Bested by Rank Amateur  HIKE:  A Four Letter Word for a Reason  Bart Simpson Claims responsibility for "Nightmare Cruise"  The Haunted Palace at Prescott’s Whiskey Row  Plight of the Phoenix: How I Stopped Worrying About On-Coming Traffic and Learned to Love the Valley  Interview by a Vampire  Durango and the Haunted Hotel Hatrick  Haunted Silverton: A Grand Imperial Poltergeist More... Contributors Mick Zano  While Searching for Malaysian Flight GOP Finds Next Benghazi  Jeb Bush V Hillary Clinton 2016  Toast, It’s What’s for Climate  New Alzheimer’ Research Helps Mice Find Where They Left Their Car Keys  Sebelius Escorted Out of Hearing by Rocky the Rollout Rodent  Support From Superheroes for This Site Waning  And the Runner up for the Worst Joke of the Week Goes To...  Now an Important Summary of Charles Koch's Recent Wall Street Journal Diatribe  Jeb Bush Unveils Family Tree Showing No Relation to Former President  Should Terrorist Groups Improve Admission Standards? More... Pokey McDooris  Crying in the Grocery Store Coffee Shop  The Manchurian Gutter Ball  I Didn’t Leave the Discord, the Discord Left Me: Oh, and I Didn’t Have Email  Institutional Inhibitors to US Development: Stand Back & Embrace the Suckage  Cultural Facilitation for Dummies  The Good Opinions of Others  The Transcosmetic Party: Evolve or Dissolve  POSITION DESIRED: ADVISOR TO THE INTEGRAL WARLORD  Institutional Inhibitors to National Development (Besides the Discord)  DON’T CALL ME I’LL CALL YOU More... Tony Ballz  Your Pets Don't Love You  The Captain and Tennille Split Up: Millions Rejoice  Pope  Hef and the Dead  Titties and Jesus  Record Store Day  LSD, Wilco, and the Monte V: A Cautionary Tale  The Worst Song Ever Written  Brah!!  Beer And Bloating In Camp Verde More... Pierce Winslow  Discord Staff Vows to Repeat the Mistakes of Last St. Patrick's Day  Duck Dynasty’s Downfall: It’s Mallard Time  The Daily Discord Presents  Empire's Austerity Measures Impacting Sith Recruitment  Yoda Turns to the Dark Assad  I See You! and Will Take Your Mordor Order!  Israeli Site Rape or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love Surveillance  Space For Sale  It's Alive, It's ALIVE!  GOP Reveals Vision For Upcoming Budget Negotiations More... Alex Bone  Dolphin Mothers Boycott Discord  Religion Added to DSM-V  Obama Sells Arizona Back to Mexico  Tobacco Lobbyists Introduce Spokesman Kenny the Crawdad  New DSM-V Adds Religion As a Funde-Mental Disorder  Discord Faces Hostile Invertebrate Takeover  COMING SOON!  Taser Parties: Tase Me Again, Bro!  Crawdads Protest Outside of Discord Tower  Alex Bone’s Get Poor Quick Scheme More... The Crank  Only Your $ Stays in Vegas  Cluster Blank: the Movie  Umm, We Don’t Do Rebuttals Anymore, Crank  Extreme Politics: the Baghdad Bob Syndrome  Ant Invasion: Them! Them!!  Star Trek: Into Beigeness  My Life in Retail: Part One  New York Guido Meets Arizona Gun Show  Beasts & Men with Tits: Unsung Heroes of the NFL  The GOP: Snatching Defeat from the Jaws of Victory More... Dave Atsals  Eternal Damnation, Probably  Pope Incinerates Hundreds During Last Public Appearance  You Don't Have Romney to Kick Around Anymore  Umm, What Are You People Selling Exactly?  Last Data from Curiosity...  Can the Ghetto Shaman Save American Idol?  Join the Unemployed to Help Romney’s Chances  Sarkozy Bitten by Werewolf!  Apparently, Two Beers and a Free Meal = $48.50  Did Romney Pander to Vegas Voters? More... Sean Kelsey  Walkers: They Have Always Been Among Us  Look, All the Mad Hatters Are at the Tea Party  BP Spends 1.3 Billion on Oil Gusher Video Makeover  Being the Worst NHL Fans Year after Year  You Shall Not Pass!!!!  Try Stealing This One American Digest!  Did Darwin's Family Influence His Theory?  Parachuting from Responsibility to Profit    I Don't Care What You Do to Me... More... Features By Type  Cartoons  Spoof News  Articles  Top Ten Lists  Advice Columns  Video Clips  Faux Ads Distinguished Discord, The Best Of  Cartoons  Spoof News  Articles  Advice Columns Discord Dream Cabinet Discord Disciples (Companion Sites) Subscribe Now Search The Discord About Us Contact Us Site Map Be our friend... ...with benefits Show us your tweets... ...and we'll show you ours		Local Exorcism Linked to Gastritis "It wasn’t so much the devil, as the devil food cake." Go back... More Cartoons...	Coming Soon! Summer of 2014! or Thereabouts Discord's Daily Discharge Arizona Cable Company Airs Our 1st Commercial! The Lowell Observatory Incident: Putting the Ass Back Into Asstronomy Breaking News Into Tiny Shards of Sensationalism Startling Ineptness Haunts Discord Ghost Investigation! More Videos... Mitch McConnell "Man of Mystery" Meme Takes Net by Storm Discord Staff Vows to Repeat the Mistakes of Last St. Patrick's Day And the Winner of the Dumbest Quote of the 21st Century Goes To... A Despondent Obama Last Seen Wandering Toward Columbia Heights How Obama Earned His 41% Approval Rating, or at Least Is Renting to Own Why Didn’t They Handout Aluminum Foil Hats at CPAC? an Oversight? Mr. Smith "Nearly Done" Reading the Affordable Care Act Al Gore Releases More Ozone-Depleting Gases Into the Atmosphere Discord to Move Away From Content in Favor of 24/7 Pledge Drives CPAC Run! U.S. Deploys Cast of Game of Thrones to Crimea I Didn’t Leave the Discord, the Discord Left Me: Oh, and I Didn’t Have Email Investigation Uncovers Problem With Sochi Opening Ceremony After "No Hell" Bomb, Pope Tweets "And the Bible's Kind of a Shit Show" And the Tasteless Joke of the Year Goes To... Star Trek V Space Case Discord Celebrates First Accurate GOP Prediction of 21st Century The Captain and Tennille Split Up: Millions Rejoice The 80's Called and They Want Their Bad Joke Back Arizona’s SB1062: Fabulous Ousts Crabulous Benghazi Isn’t a Scandal, It’s a Cry for Help Top 10 Guinness Pours in Tucson Revealed! On News of Death Zano Downplays Ramis/Discord Feud Dolphin Mothers Boycott Discord The Case for Obama's Impeachment, Part Five: NSA Disaster Strikes Last Day of Olympics The Case for Obama's Impeachment, Part Four: Benghazi The Case for Obama's Impeachment, Part Three: Obamacare The Case for Obama's Impeachment, Part Two: Fast & Furious The Case for Obama's Impeachment, Part One: IRS Train Transporting Crude Oil Doesn’t Blow Up Satellite Confirms the Only Light in N. Korea Is a Motel 6 Pope Deport Every Politician Thwarting Obama on Iran Market Crashes As Yellen Giggles and Farts Through Confirmation Hearing! 93,000 Liters of Beer Are Lost Each Year in Facial Hair in the UK Alone Ticket Emerges That Finally Captures the GOP’s Values Discord's Daily Discharge Religion Added to DSM-V Reaganomics: Don't Let an Economist Tell You Different Stock in Grumpy Cat Collapses Haunted Tucson: the Hotel Congress Have You Spoken to Your Kids About Benghazi? A Confused Putin Pardons Justin Bieber Discord Super Game Coverage The Main Reason Republicans Will Lose the Future Hef and the Dead During SOTU Obama Mentioned Alimony 14 Times and Chardonnay 37 Times Rosetta Scandal: Obama’s Blunders Deciphered! Egypt Builds Cage for Prospective Leader...Just in Case God Implicated in Climate Change Hoax Obama Sells Arizona Back to Mexico ObamaCare Unveils New "Fun Size" Healthcare Enrollments As Arizona’s CPS Closes Brewer Opens the "Jan-Line" Hillary Asks Discord to "Stop Helping!" Arizona Cable Company Airs Our 1st Commercial! Journalism Lives!…umm, on the Left In Rare Show of Force Zeus Blasts Jesus Koch Industries Acquires Umbrella Corporation and Skynet Either Way Christie Was Not Going to Be Nominated
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