Sarcastically Salving Society Home of the Transcosmetic Party A Place for Raging Moderates, Tragic Optimists, and Integral Outcasts
September 24, 2016
I GAVE UP GIVING UP THINGS FOR LENT FOR LENT • OBAMA DECLARES WAR ON POISONOUS FLORIDA CATERPILLAR • PELOSI: REPUBLICANS ENDANGER CIVILIZATION • ZANO: PELOSI HAS RARE, ACCURATE STATEMENT • WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO SEND SHIT FOR THIS MARQUEE/TICKER THING, ZANO! JESUS, WHAT AM I NOT PAYING YOU FOR? —PIERCE WINSLOW • OBAMA ADMITS TO SPENDING ALL NATION'S FLEX-FUNDS ON GOLF, STARBUCKS AND BEER • CONGRESS APPROVES BILL TO...HA HA HAH! KIDDING! CONGRESS DOESN’T APPROVE BILLS •
Topics Arts & Culture  Authenticity of Discord Star Wars Trailer Questioned  The Captain & Tennille Split Up: Millions Rejoice  Letterman STILL Saying Goodbye Somewhere in New Zealand!  Plague Outbreak Slows Down Discord Production  Zano V Rhythm  Cosby’s Giving Me a Woody  Hipsters  Western Breweries Fight Drought With New Extra Dry IPA  Spring Is in the Err  Stephen Hawking Names Daily Discord "Greatest Threat to Mankind" More... News & Politics  During Memorial Day Speech Obama Chooses to Honor Those on Welfare  Legends and Lies Airs on Fox  Cluttered White House Lawn Becoming Impossible to Mow  Another Day, Another Discord Retraction  Points: Why Republicans Don’t Seem to Make Any  Godzilla No Longer Willing to Fight ISIS  The Bush's Plundered & Pruned the Hedges of Many Small Villages!  These Are Not the Drones You Are Looking For  Jeb Wants Everyone to Know He'd Make the Same Mistakes As Hillary  Benghazi Investigation Shifts Focus to Big Rock Near Spain More... Science & Technology  Jurassic Cluck?  Argumentative Deficiencies and the Zano Doctrine  American Psychological Association Insists "Torturers Strictly Adhered to All A.P.A. Formatting"  Research: Hunting With AK47s Helped Early Humans Outsmart Neanderthals  To Refute Global Warming Senator Pulls Testicle Off Defenseless Snowman  Mysterious Martian Haze Identified  New Psychedelic Drug Shows Promise for Unicorn Research  Confirmed Hoax: Latest Plesiosaur Sighting Blue Whale in Plesiosaur Costume  Local Man Has “Explanation” for Rectum Firework ER Visit  Conservative Think Tank Discovers Way to Get Plastic Bags Right From Your Store to a Dolphin's Face More... Spirituality & Enlightenment  God Claims Responsibility for Devastating Tornado  My Shitty Kids  How Is ISIS Radicalizing Our Children?  A Couple of Quick Points  That Which We Call a Radical by Any Other Name  Niagara Fails: Man's Attempt to Go Over Falls in Igloo Ends Badly  Expedition for Remote Yields Cache of Froot Loops  Isn't It Time to Disband Sith Majorette Tryouts?  The Daily Discord Vows to Drop the Ball in 2015  Westboro Baptist Church Vs. the Daily Discord and GOD More... Sports  NFL "Outraged" by Discord Coverage of Deflategate  Coach, What Do We Do If Stanton Can't Play?  Discord Interpretation of Recent News Headline Questioned  Bettman Refuses to Relinquish Cup!  Camera Down! Now Maybe He'll Have Some Time for Our Editing.  Investigation Uncovers Problem With Sochi Opening Ceremony  Disaster Strikes Last Day of Olympics  Discord Super Game Coverage  Putin Determined to Butch-Up Olympics  NHL to Skip to Playoffs for 2013-2014 Season More... Weird & Haunted Travel  Paranormal Entities Sue Discord Over Rights Infringements  Team S.T.Q. Asked to Hunt Down Vlad the Impala?  S.T.Q. EP 2: the Ghosts of Oatman  The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1  The Exciting Conclusion of Search Truth Quest: Ep 1  Search Truth Quest: EP 1 PT 4: Speed Powder  Search Truth Quest: EP1 Part 3: Lair of the Hot Barista  Rhyolite Nevada: a Place That Makes Other Ghost Towns Seem Bustling  Prescott’s Haunted Hotel St. Michael: Oops, Ghost Found  Search Truth Quest: Part 2 EP 1: Undulating Maggots of Doom More... Contributors Mick Zano  Authenticity of Discord Star Wars Trailer Questioned  Legends and Lies Airs on Fox  Another Day, Another Discord Retraction  Points: Why Republicans Don’t Seem to Make Any  Jurassic Cluck?  Godzilla No Longer Willing to Fight ISIS  The Bush's Plundered & Pruned the Hedges of Many Small Villages!  These Are Not the Drones You Are Looking For  Jeb Wants Everyone to Know He'd Make the Same Mistakes As Hillary  Benghazi Investigation Shifts Focus to Big Rock Near Spain More... Pokey McDooris  Argumentative Deficiencies and the Zano Doctrine  Too Big to Debate: Pokey V Zano V Mayweather  From Common Core to Common CAIR  The Civil Wrong Movement  That Which We Call a Radical by Any Other Name  Our ‘Unalienable Rights’ Have Nothing to Do With Ancient Aliens, Zano  Final Thoughts on the Culture War Zano Debate  The Ebola Spring  Is the Constitution Obsolete in This Zano Nation?  Battle Beneath the Planet of Benghazi More... Tony Ballz  The Captain & Tennille Split Up: Millions Rejoice  Cosby’s Giving Me a Woody  Hipsters  My Shitty Kids  Music Is Still Free!  The Kennedy Center Nominees Looked Like a Strange Bunch This Year  A Tale of Two Stations  High Life in the Pines Indie Music Festival: Featuring Lit  Danzig, Black Sabbath and Jesus  Guided by Voices: Crescent Ballroom, Phoenix 6/15/14 More... Alex Bone  Plague Outbreak Slows Down Discord Production  Paranormal Entities Sue Discord Over Rights Infringements  Coach, What Do We Do If Stanton Can't Play?  Jack Primus Thwarts Conservative Attempt to Reanimate Undead Voters  Discord CEO Moves All Reporters Into a 1957 Winnebago  Parmesan Cheese Newest Tool in Battle Against Drug Addiction  The Forces of Yig Gain Major Foothold in the Crawdad Apocalypse War  Breaking: Alex Bone Has an Alien Chest-Buster Living Inside Him  Bike Rider’s Blues: Schwinning!  Dolphin Mothers Boycott Discord More... Pierce Winslow  Study: Republican Party Dropped on Head As Child  Only 595 Days Until Hillary  A Couple of Quick Points  Final Solution for Harry Reid's Eye Troubles Unveiled  Lack of Evidence Only Emboldens Benghazi Truthers  New Ray Rice Elevator Creating Fun and Controversy!  Secretaryian Violence Increases in Syria  Who Is the Sith Lord and Who Is the Sithy Boy?  Discord Staff Vows to Repeat the Mistakes of Last St. Patrick's Day  Duck Dynasty’s Downfall: It’s Mallard Time More... Cokie McGrath  Pokey V Zano: Our Culture War for Dummies  Interview With the Zanblogger  Zano to Quit the Discord....Again  Aging: It May Be Fucked Up but Maybe Less So  Alex Bone: Arizona’s New Homelessness Advocate  Life Coach Cokie  Life Coach Cokie  Life Coach Cokie: On Social Site Bombing The Crank  Cranky Crank’s Damage Repair  Only Your $ Stays in Vegas  Cluster Blank: the Movie  Umm, We Don’t Do Rebuttals Anymore, Crank  Extreme Politics: the Baghdad Bob Syndrome  Ant Invasion: Them! Them!!  Star Trek: Into Beigeness  My Life in Retail: Part One  New York Guido Meets Arizona Gun Show  Beasts & Men with Tits: Unsung Heroes of the NFL More... Dr. Kwela Juluka  Coalition of the Falling: Ebola Fed Ex Features By Type  Cartoons  Spoof News  Articles  Top Ten Lists  Advice Columns  Video Clips  Faux Ads Distinguished Discord, The Best Of  Cartoons  Spoof News  Articles  Advice Columns Discord Dream Cabinet Discord Disciples (Companion Sites) Subscribe Now Search The Discord About Us Contact Us Site Map Be our friend... ...with benefits Show us your tweets... ...and we'll show you ours		Local Exorcism Linked to Gastritis "It wasn’t so much the devil, as the devil food cake." Go back... More Cartoons...	Zano V Rhythm A Slow News Day at Discord Headquarters Westboro Baptist Church Vs. the Daily Discord and GOD S.T.Q. EP 2: the Ghosts of Oatman The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1 The Exciting Conclusion of Search Truth Quest: Ep 1 More Videos... U.S. Convinces Iran to Turn Nuke Program Into Brewery Let's Give Zano Partial Credit on This One Cosby’s Giving Me a Woody Colorado's First Pot Related Fatality 20% of All Colorado Pot Diverted to Make Last Old Spice Commercial Cheney Yells "This Is Torture!" Before Strangling Kitten Aaron Hernandez Sentenced to One Date With Jodi Arias Dear GOP, What Is Your Infatuation With People Who Are Always Wrong? Research: Hunting With AK47s Helped Early Humans Outsmart Neanderthals Say Hello to the Third Amigo! Cruz to Redirect NASA Funds to "Global Space Fence" Since the Government Has My Dic Pics... Hipsters God Claims Responsibility for Devastating Tornado From Common Core to Common CAIR Western Breweries Fight Drought With New Extra Dry IPA Kerry Blames "Extended Iran Negotiations" on "Urinating in Public" Charge Study: Republican Party Dropped on Head As Child Glenn Beck and the Emperor's New Caliphate Ayatollah Adamant Iran: "Not Seeking Bomb" Rand Paul Requests: "That List of Crazy Shit I Have to Say to Win Primary" The Civil Wrong Movement Ted Cruz Compares Himself to Galileo Caliphates and Terror and Russian Bears, Oh My! Only 595 Days Until Hillary Chimpanzees Now Capable of Legislating Spring Is in the Err Six Climbers Missing After Attempting to Scale Bill O'Reilly's Ego Congress Takes Aim at Last Functional Aspects of Government NASA Agrees to Ignore Climate Change If Cruz Agrees to One-Way Mars Mission Reality Show My Shitty Kids Stephen Hawking Names Daily Discord "Greatest Threat to Mankind" The AM Radio Circus: Fire-Breathing Clowns Juggling Elephant Poo Boehner Orders Cooler Do-Nothing-Congress Chair Florida Bans Words ‘Climate Change’ in Favor of ‘Tidal Terrorism’ 47 GOP Senators: Treason or Just a Felony? Harrison Ford's Explanation Raises More Questions Music Is Still Free! How Is ISIS Radicalizing Our Children? A Couple of Quick Points Netanyhu Follows up Famous "Bomb" Diagram With "Iran Plan" Brevity Is the Soul of Wit so I Will Keep This Rebuttal Under Twenty Pages Obama Apologizes to Netanyahu for Adjacent Firework Display/Rock Drummer Tryouts Final Solution for Harry Reid's Eye Troubles Unveiled That Which We Call a Radical by Any Other Name To Refute Global Warming Senator Pulls Testicle Off Defenseless Snowman Scott Walker Has "No Idea Where All This Blood Came From" How Did the GOP Become Such Koch Suckers? Manmade Vs God-Given Rights As Keystone XL Bill Approaches GOP "Outraged" by Obama Pun Prank Our ‘Unalienable Rights’ Have Nothing to Do With Ancient Aliens, Zano Niagara Fails: Man's Attempt to Go Over Falls in Igloo Ends Badly Mysterious Martian Haze Identified New Psychedelic Drug Shows Promise for Unicorn Research Farewell Jon Stewart, You Propaganda Spewing Buffoon! Southwestern Drought Threatens Sheriff Joe’s Waterboarding 50 Shades of Grey Crayons Are a Marketing Bust The Koch Brothers Solve Donor Summit Dilemma Republicans Can Have High IQs Too, WTF? After Six Months of Bombing Shit Out of ISIS Obama Requests Authorization to Bomb Shit Out of ISIS
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