Sarcastically Salving Society Home of the Transcosmetic Party A Place for Raging Moderates, Tragic Optimists, and Integral Outcasts
February 27, 2015
I GAVE UP GIVING UP THINGS FOR LENT FOR LENT • OBAMA DECLARES WAR ON POISONOUS FLORIDA CATERPILLAR • PELOSI: REPUBLICANS ENDANGER CIVILIZATION • ZANO: PELOSI HAS RARE, ACCURATE STATEMENT • WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO SEND SHIT FOR THIS MARQUEE/TICKER THING, ZANO! JESUS, WHAT AM I NOT PAYING YOU FOR? —PIERCE WINSLOW • OBAMA ADMITS TO SPENDING ALL NATION'S FLEX-FUNDS ON GOLF, STARBUCKS AND BEER • CONGRESS APPROVES BILL TO...HA HA HAH! KIDDING! CONGRESS DOESN’T APPROVE BILLS •
Topics Arts & Culture  50 Shades of Grey Crayons Are a Marketing Bust  Man Fakes Seizure at Restaurant After Tip App Fails  A Slow News Day at Discord Headquarters  The Kennedy Center Nominees Looked Like a Strange Bunch This Year  Reality Show Package Deals Now Available!  A Tale of Two Stations  Live From the Discord's Weather Center in Flagstaff  Zano Hacks Rogen!  The Grand Old Potty  Final Biblical Prophecy Fulfilled! More... News & Politics  Scott Walker Has "No Idea Where All This Blood Came From"  How Did the GOP Become Such Koch Suckers?  Manmade Vs God-Given Rights  As Keystone XL Bill Approaches GOP "Outraged" by Obama Pun Prank  Our ‘Unalienable Rights’ Have Nothing to Do With Ancient Aliens, Zano  Farewell Jon Stewart, You Propaganda Spewing Buffoon!  Southwestern Drought Threatens Sheriff Joe’s Waterboarding  The Koch Brothers Solve Donor Summit Dilemma  Republicans Can Have High IQs Too, WTF?  After Six Months of Bombing Shit Out of ISIS Obama Requests Authorization to Bomb Shit Out of ISIS More... Science & Technology  Mysterious Martian Haze Identified  New Psychedelic Drug Shows Promise for Unicorn Research  Confirmed Hoax: Latest Plesiosaur Sighting Blue Whale in Plesiosaur Costume  Local Man Has “Explanation” for Rectum Firework ER Visit  Conservative Think Tank Discovers Way to Get Plastic Bags Right From Your Store to a Dolphin's Face  Introducing the President and Vice President of the United States!  Obama Creates Coalition of the Good Luck With That  Parmesan Cheese Newest Tool in Battle Against Drug Addiction  Malaysia Unveils Plans for New Global Rail System  Man Taken Aboard the Loch Ness Monster by Alien Bigfoots More... Spirituality & Enlightenment  Niagara Fails: Man's Attempt to Go Over Falls in Igloo Ends Badly  Expedition for Remote Yields Cache of Froot Loops  Isn't It Time to Disband Sith Majorette Tryouts?  The Daily Discord Vows to Drop the Ball in 2015  Westboro Baptist Church Vs. the Daily Discord and GOD  Cranky Crank’s Damage Repair  Discord Business Model Switching to "All Cats and Babies"  Pope Appoints New Arches Bishop  Dalai Discord Recruits Lama!  A Theory Emerges From Ancient Astronaut Ornithologists More... Sports  Coach, What Do We Do If Stanton Can't Play?  Discord Interpretation of Recent News Headline Questioned  Bettman Refuses to Relinquish Cup!  Camera Down! Now Maybe He'll Have Some Time for Our Editing.  Investigation Uncovers Problem With Sochi Opening Ceremony  Disaster Strikes Last Day of Olympics  Discord Super Game Coverage  Putin Determined to Butch-Up Olympics  NHL to Skip to Playoffs for 2013-2014 Season  US Men’s League Opening Doors for Ousted European CHL Goalies More... Weird & Haunted Travel  Paranormal Entities Sue Discord Over Rights Infringements  Team S.T.Q. Asked to Hunt Down Vlad the Impala?  S.T.Q. EP 2: the Ghosts of Oatman  The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1  The Exciting Conclusion of Search Truth Quest: Ep 1  Search Truth Quest: EP 1 PT 4: Speed Powder  Search Truth Quest: EP1 Part 3: Lair of the Hot Barista  Rhyolite Nevada: a Place That Makes Other Ghost Towns Seem Bustling  Prescott’s Haunted Hotel St. Michael: Oops, Ghost Found  Search Truth Quest: Part 2 EP 1: Undulating Maggots of Doom More... Contributors Mick Zano  How Did the GOP Become Such Koch Suckers?  Manmade Vs God-Given Rights  Niagara Fails: Man's Attempt to Go Over Falls in Igloo Ends Badly  New Psychedelic Drug Shows Promise for Unicorn Research  Farewell Jon Stewart, You Propaganda Spewing Buffoon!  Republicans Can Have High IQs Too, WTF?  Integral Thought Doesn’t Have a Prayer  Arizona’s Wall to Nowhere  Is the GOP Losing Their Midterm Erection?  Discord Captures Essence of Netanyahu Visit More... Pokey McDooris  Our ‘Unalienable Rights’ Have Nothing to Do With Ancient Aliens, Zano  Final Thoughts on the Culture War Zano Debate  The Ebola Spring  Is the Constitution Obsolete in This Zano Nation?  Battle Beneath the Planet of Benghazi  Who’s More Serious About Climate Change? ISIS IS!  Artificial Self-Esteem Bolstering for Dummies  Read Between the Lies  Total (Over) Lording Deniers  Atheism Is Dead: Don’t Believe the Unbelievers More... Alex Bone  Paranormal Entities Sue Discord Over Rights Infringements  Coach, What Do We Do If Stanton Can't Play?  Jack Primus Thwarts Conservative Attempt to Reanimate Undead Voters  Discord CEO Moves All Reporters Into a 1957 Winnebago  Parmesan Cheese Newest Tool in Battle Against Drug Addiction  The Forces of Yig Gain Major Foothold in the Crawdad Apocalypse War  Breaking: Alex Bone Has an Alien Chest-Buster Living Inside Him  Bike Rider’s Blues: Schwinning!  Dolphin Mothers Boycott Discord  Religion Added to DSM-V More... Tony Ballz  The Kennedy Center Nominees Looked Like a Strange Bunch This Year  A Tale of Two Stations  High Life in the Pines Indie Music Festival: Featuring Lit  Danzig, Black Sabbath and Jesus  Guided by Voices: Crescent Ballroom, Phoenix 6/15/14  Your Pets Don't Love You  The Captain and Tennille Split Up: Millions Rejoice  Pope  Hef and the Dead  Titties and Jesus More... Cokie McGrath  Pokey V Zano: Our Culture War for Dummies  Interview With the Zanblogger  Zano to Quit the Discord....Again  Aging: It May Be Fucked Up but Maybe Less So  Alex Bone: Arizona’s New Homelessness Advocate  Life Coach Cokie  Life Coach Cokie  Life Coach Cokie: On Social Site Bombing Pierce Winslow  Lack of Evidence Only Emboldens Benghazi Truthers  New Ray Rice Elevator Creating Fun and Controversy!  Secretaryian Violence Increases in Syria  Who Is the Sith Lord and Who Is the Sithy Boy?  Discord Staff Vows to Repeat the Mistakes of Last St. Patrick's Day  Duck Dynasty’s Downfall: It’s Mallard Time  The Daily Discord Presents  Empire's Austerity Measures Impacting Sith Recruitment  Yoda Turns to the Dark Assad  I See You! and Will Take Your Mordor Order! More... The Crank  Cranky Crank’s Damage Repair  Only Your $ Stays in Vegas  Cluster Blank: the Movie  Umm, We Don’t Do Rebuttals Anymore, Crank  Extreme Politics: the Baghdad Bob Syndrome  Ant Invasion: Them! Them!!  Star Trek: Into Beigeness  My Life in Retail: Part One  New York Guido Meets Arizona Gun Show  Beasts & Men with Tits: Unsung Heroes of the NFL More... Dr. Kwela Juluka  Coalition of the Falling: Ebola Fed Ex Features By Type  Cartoons  Spoof News  Articles  Top Ten Lists  Advice Columns  Video Clips  Faux Ads Distinguished Discord, The Best Of  Cartoons  Spoof News  Articles  Advice Columns Discord Dream Cabinet Discord Disciples (Companion Sites) Subscribe Now Search The Discord About Us Contact Us Site Map Be our friend... ...with benefits Show us your tweets... ...and we'll show you ours		Local Exorcism Linked to Gastritis "It wasn’t so much the devil, as the devil food cake." Go back... More Cartoons...	A Slow News Day at Discord Headquarters Westboro Baptist Church Vs. the Daily Discord and GOD S.T.Q. EP 2: the Ghosts of Oatman The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1 The Exciting Conclusion of Search Truth Quest: Ep 1 Search Truth Quest: EP 1 PT 4: Speed Powder More Videos... Zano Deciphers Trickle-Down Economics The Kennedy Center Nominees Looked Like a Strange Bunch This Year With New Romney Campaign Comes New Approach to the 47% Please Don’t Bring the Shit-Show Here Reality Show Package Deals Now Available! Discord Reacts to Cruz’s New Oversight Position A Tale of Two Stations Expedition for Remote Yields Cache of Froot Loops Kansas to Be Divided Into Neighboring States Live From the Discord's Weather Center in Flagstaff Confirmed Hoax: Latest Plesiosaur Sighting Blue Whale in Plesiosaur Costume Jeb Bush "Terminates" Ties to All Evil Corporations Isn't It Time to Disband Sith Majorette Tryouts? Is Anyone Outside of Fox Surprised "The Pause" and "Climategate" Are Both Bullshit? N. Korea Vows to Unleash Rare Edition Charzard on U.S. What President John Q. Republican Would Do "from Day One" in 2016 Local Man Has “Explanation” for Rectum Firework ER Visit Obama Flip Flops on The Interview Decision The Daily Discord Vows to Drop the Ball in 2015 Al Gore Stokes Anti Heat Miser Rhetoric So What If the Majority Whip Spoke to White Supremacists? Westboro Baptist Church Vs. the Daily Discord and GOD The Bush Administration Did Get Something Right Developing: Obama Set to Unveil New Keystone Pipeline Plan Why Don’t Folks Like the ACA? It’s Bullshit, Stupid Atheist Activists Can Learn a Lot From the Burgermeister Rogen and Franco Sent to N. Korea to Explain "Misunderstanding" Statler and Waldorf Weigh in on Torture Coach, What Do We Do If Stanton Can't Play? Final Thoughts on Ferguson, Torture, and Beyond Zano Hacks Rogen! Final Thoughts on the Culture War Zano Debate Big Government Is Bad but Big Government Torture Is Glug, Glug, Great! Pokey V Zano: Our Culture War for Dummies Einstein’s Special Theory of Terrortivity Conservative Think Tank Discovers Way to Get Plastic Bags Right From Your Store to a Dolphin's Face GOP Turns Focus of Benghazi Investigation to Giant Rock Near Spain Fox News Reacts to Allegations of Torture Lack of Evidence Only Emboldens Benghazi Truthers Polarization Nation Watch The Grand Old Potty Republicans Accuse God of Being "Weak on Terror" Final Biblical Prophecy Fulfilled! Dems Distance Themselves Further From Strengthening Economy Team S.T.Q. Asked to Hunt Down Vlad the Impala? S.T.Q. EP 2: the Ghosts of Oatman Obama Uses Executive Order to Overrule Turkey Pardon Cranky Crank’s Damage Repair The GOP: Putting the ID Back Into Ideology Interview With the Zanblogger Fat Albert and Several Cosby Kids Allege Cosby Abuse Stay Calm and Daily Discord Charlie Manson Upgrades Forehead Tattoo Discord’s Scotland Independence Post Deemed a Hoax Dear Hollywood, Please Get Post-Apocalyptic Vegas Right! Bush Senior: Wakes up Every Morning in Cold Sweat Asking, "Is George Jr Still in Charge?" Reptilican Virus Spreading in the Elderly Adults...Shouldn't We Just Keep Electing Them? Zano’s 21 Day of Self-Imposed Ebola Isolation Deemed 'Job Avoidance' Stunt Before the Most Interesting Man in the World...
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