Sarcastically Salving Society
Home of the Transcosmetic Party
A Place for Raging Moderates, Tragic Optimists, and Integral Outcasts
May 27, 2015
I GAVE UP GIVING UP THINGS FOR LENT FOR LENT • OBAMA DECLARES WAR ON POISONOUS FLORIDA CATERPILLAR • PELOSI: REPUBLICANS ENDANGER CIVILIZATION • ZANO: PELOSI HAS RARE, ACCURATE STATEMENT • WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO SEND SHIT FOR THIS MARQUEE/TICKER THING, ZANO! JESUS, WHAT AM I NOT PAYING YOU FOR? —PIERCE WINSLOW • OBAMA ADMITS TO SPENDING ALL NATION'S FLEX-FUNDS ON GOLF, STARBUCKS AND BEER • CONGRESS APPROVES BILL TO...HA HA HAH! KIDDING! CONGRESS DOESN’T APPROVE BILLS •
TopicsTopics
ContributorsContributors
FeaturesFeatures
Subscribe Now Subscribe Now
Search The Discord Search The Discord
About Us About Us
Contact Us Contact Us
Site Map Site Map
Be our friend...
...with benefits
Show us your tweets...
Follow The Daily Discord on Twitter
...and we'll show you ours
Follow The Daily Discord on MySpace
Buddhist Geeks
Presidential All Seeing Eye

Kiester Island

Khamenei Rork and Tattoo Ahmadinejad

Bill Clinton and his Asian Harem

Obama squares of with Gandalf the Gray over Health Care

Tactics to Draw Out Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan Questioned, Danish Mohammed cartoons for sale

Second Inconvenient Truth Linked to Al Gore’s Cross-Dressing

Moe-hammad
The Hand of God
Are you a Serpent or a Rat? Take the Quiz of Yig!
By Alex Bone
Alex Bone

Are you one with Yig, or will be cowering in the corner when the Earth comes under peril this December? Take Yig’s Stalwart quiz and see where you stand in the eyes of the All Father Serpent. Oh, but if you fail badly, you might be devoured.




  1. You come across a person who has gotten into a bike accident and is knocked unconscious.
    1. Steal their wallet.
    2. Call for help and begin first aid.
    3. Become a snake.
    4. Ingest bath salts and chew off their face.

  1. You come upon a small pond where an invasive species of crawdad has moved in and is in the process of destroying the natural wildlife.
    1. Feed the crawfish crackers and hotdogs.
    2. They are enemies of Yig! Kill as many as you can and eat them.
    3. Report it to the park service on your iPhone.
    4. Ingest bath salts and chew off the crawdad’s insect-like faces.

  1. Your friend needs to be picked up from the airport.
    1. Screw that, the airport’s like an hour away.
    2. Show up with some tasty beverages on ice and hit a tavern or a nature spot on the way home.
    3. Become a snake.
    4. Say sure, but then when his plane arrives accidentally "space it."

  1. Through no fault of your own, you find yourself homeless.
    1. Move back in with your ex.
    2. Build a house out of pallet wood and ask your ex to move in.
    3. Become a snake and curl up anywhere.
    4. Couch surf baby!

  1. The zombie plague has started. You are about to escape town, when you see two children trapped inside a car surrounded by seven zombies and all you have is a baseball bat.
    1. Pretend to not see them and keep sexting your girlfriend.
    2. Lure the zombies away and kill them one at a time.
    3. Check to see if they eat snakes.
    4. Use this distraction to loot a nearby store for canned goods.

  1. Your significant other wants you to hold her purse/man purse while she tries on an article of clothing.
    1. Toss it on the bench, because that check-out girl is hot and you need to get her number.
    2. Hold it, but only at arm’s length as if it’s radioactive.
    3. Become a snake and crawl inside.
    4. Agree, but only so you can search for loose change.

  1. Your friend has fallen on hard times and needs a place to crash.
    1. Don’t return his calls and if he comes by pretend you’re not home.
    2. Grab a twelver and invite a few people over for a welcome to your sofa party.
    3. Tell him he can only stay if he can become a snake.
    4. Paying half of your rent and utilities to sleep in the shed sounds fair.

  1. You are out camping, you haven’t collected much wood yet, and a storm is approaching.
    1. Play The Doors Riders on the Storm and light a doobie.
    2. Make sure everyone else in the camp completes answer D, while you dig out a cold one from the cooler.
    3. Become a snake.
    4. Make a fire, start collecting wood, and get a tarp up.

  1. You are on a long road trip when the car breaks down in the middle of a lonely stretch of desert.
    1. Blame your friend and complain as loudly as possible.
    2. If the car can’t be fixed, gather water and offer to hike back to the nearest town.
    3. Become a snake, there should be a few desert rats around.
    4. Listen to reruns of ‘car talk’ on the radio until they describe your mechanical problem.

  1. You see Jack Primus surrounded by six sickle-wielding Glooms.
    1. Help the Glooms kill that pompous prick.
    2. Grab a weapon and attack them from behind.
    3. Become a snake.
    4. Runaway as quickly as possible and report it to The Daily Discord.

Scoring:

For each question answered "A" give yourself 10 rat points. For each question answered "D" give yourself five Rat points.

For each "B" give yourself 10 Yig points, and for each "C" give yourself a bonus one Yig point for just thinking about snakes.

If you have both Yig points and Rat points they cancel each other out. So for instance if you had 80 Yig points but 20 Rat points you would have a Yig score of 60. A person with 70 Rats points and 30 Yig points would have a Rat score of 40.

Rat Point Scale

1-10 – You are Mr./Ms. Anywhere the wind blows...yawn.

11-20 – You aren’t even a good villain.

21-30 – Embrace the dark side.

31-40 – The homeless and small children run from you.

41-50 – Babies cry at the sight of you.

51-60 – Evil organizations are trying to enlist you.

61-70 – You are wondering if you should put the title Overlord before your name.

71-80 – Anti-social personality disorder, why do they call it a disorder, everything’s working according to plan.

81-90 – You’ll return Satan’s call when you get around to it.

91-100 – Cthulhu has just made you the general of his land troops.

Yig Point Scale

1-10 – Oh boy...

11-20 – Someone needs to step up.

21-30 – Go collect some firewood.

31-40 – Okay, I’ll let you water my plants when I go abroad.

41-50 – You make a good babysitter.

51-60 – You want to go camping this weekend?

61-70 – We need to kill some crawdads.

71-80 – We need to kill some Migo.

81-90 – Yig has an assignment for you.

91-100 – Hey Jack, I didn’t see you standing there.

Would you like to learn more about Yig? Click here!

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Subscribe to the Discord
Discord Videos
Zano V Rhythm
Zano v Rhythm
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Subscribe to the Discord


A Slow News Day at Discord Headquarters
A Slow News Day at Discord Headquarters
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Subscribe to the Discord
 Westboro Baptist Church Vs. the Daily Discord and GOD
 S.T.Q. EP 2: the Ghosts of Oatman
 The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1
 The Exciting Conclusion of Search Truth Quest: Ep 1
More Videos...
Decrepit Discord
 Let's Give Zano Partial Credit on This One
 Cosby’s Giving Me a Woody
 Colorado's First Pot Related Fatality
 20% of All Colorado Pot Diverted to Make Last Old Spice Commercial
 Cheney Yells "This Is Torture!" Before Strangling Kitten
 Aaron Hernandez Sentenced to One Date With Jodi Arias
 Dear GOP, What Is Your Infatuation With People Who Are Always Wrong?
 Research: Hunting With AK47s Helped Early Humans Outsmart Neanderthals
 Say Hello to the Third Amigo!
 Cruz to Redirect NASA Funds to "Global Space Fence"
 Since the Government Has My Dic Pics...
 Hipsters
 God Claims Responsibility for Devastating Tornado
 From Common Core to Common CAIR
 Western Breweries Fight Drought With New Extra Dry IPA
 Kerry Blames "Extended Iran Negotiations" on "Urinating in Public" Charge
 Study: Republican Party Dropped on Head As Child
 Glenn Beck and the Emperor's New Caliphate
 Ayatollah Adamant Iran: "Not Seeking Bomb"
 Rand Paul Requests: "That List of Crazy Shit I Have to Say to Win Primary"
 The Civil Wrong Movement
 Ted Cruz Compares Himself to Galileo
 Caliphates and Terror and Russian Bears, Oh My!
 Only 595 Days Until Hillary
 Chimpanzees Now Capable of Legislating
 Spring Is in the Err
 Six Climbers Missing After Attempting to Scale Bill O'Reilly's Ego
 Congress Takes Aim at Last Functional Aspects of Government
 NASA Agrees to Ignore Climate Change If Cruz Agrees to One-Way Mars Mission Reality Show
 My Shitty Kids
 Stephen Hawking Names Daily Discord "Greatest Threat to Mankind"
 The AM Radio Circus: Fire-Breathing Clowns Juggling Elephant Poo
 Boehner Orders Cooler Do-Nothing-Congress Chair
 Florida Bans Words ‘Climate Change’ in Favor of ‘Tidal Terrorism’
 47 GOP Senators: Treason or Just a Felony?
 Harrison Ford's Explanation Raises More Questions
 Music Is Still Free!
 How Is ISIS Radicalizing Our Children?
 A Couple of Quick Points
 Netanyhu Follows up Famous "Bomb" Diagram With "Iran Plan"
 Brevity Is the Soul of Wit so I Will Keep This Rebuttal Under Twenty Pages
 Obama Apologizes to Netanyahu for Adjacent Firework Display/Rock Drummer Tryouts
 Final Solution for Harry Reid's Eye Troubles Unveiled
 That Which We Call a Radical by Any Other Name
 To Refute Global Warming Senator Pulls Testicle Off Defenseless Snowman
 Scott Walker Has "No Idea Where All This Blood Came From"
 How Did the GOP Become Such Koch Suckers?
 Manmade Vs God-Given Rights
 As Keystone XL Bill Approaches GOP "Outraged" by Obama Pun Prank
 Our ‘Unalienable Rights’ Have Nothing to Do With Ancient Aliens, Zano
 Niagara Fails: Man's Attempt to Go Over Falls in Igloo Ends Badly
 Mysterious Martian Haze Identified
 New Psychedelic Drug Shows Promise for Unicorn Research
 Farewell Jon Stewart, You Propaganda Spewing Buffoon!
 Southwestern Drought Threatens Sheriff Joe’s Waterboarding
 50 Shades of Grey Crayons Are a Marketing Bust
 The Koch Brothers Solve Donor Summit Dilemma
 Republicans Can Have High IQs Too, WTF?
 After Six Months of Bombing Shit Out of ISIS Obama Requests Authorization to Bomb Shit Out of ISIS
 Integral Thought Doesn’t Have a Prayer
RSS Subscriptions
Search
About Us
Contact Us