New York, NY—Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Bagel Shop, is not convinced a large, as yet undiscovered species of elephantidae, is living within the urban sprawl in and around Sesame Street.
After perusing the area’s refuse, the prominent crypto-zoologist concluded, "The waste could certainly sustain a small garbage-can-dwelling creature, say 2 to 3 feet tall, but I don’t think anything much larger could survive here on the existing food supply."
Dr. Hogbein falls shy of completely dismissing the possibility, but he also believes a creature of such girth would have a hard time remaining unnoticed.
"This isn’t about one creature, there would need to be enough to sustain a sizeable population, which, giving the setting, becomes even more implausible. Show me some hair samples, some scat, anything that would help prove the existence of something this large living in, of all places, a city borough," said Dr. Hogbein.
A large yellow ornithoid, known to the locals, recently passed several lie detector tests and is believed to be the only credible witness.
Upon reviewing this Big Bird’s testimony, Dr. Hogbein stated, "It’s certainly seeing something, but I will give more credence to these eyewitness accounts if this bird underwent a battery of psychological testing."
Dr. Hogbein later suggested to reporters this bird flew into one too many closed windows.