Sarcastically Salving Society
Home of the Transcosmetic Party
A Place for Raging Moderates, Tragic Optimists, and Integral Outcasts
April 18, 2014
AS SNEEZING DEATHS RISE IN 14 STATES, CONSERVATIVE THINK TANK LINKS BRUTAL ALLERGY SEASON TO OBAMACARE • AS PART OF A LIBERAL PLOY, COASTAL CITIES ACROSS THE GLOBE DUMPING BILLIONS INTO "CLIMATE CHANGE" FLOOD PREVENTION • DEPRESSION INCREASES CHANCE OF SADNESS IN COSTLY DISCORD STUDY • RETRACTION: OUR HEADLINE "MICK ZANO TO REPLACE JOHNNY CARSON" SHOULD HAVE READ "STEPHEN COLBERT TO REPLACE DAVID LETTERMAN" • FOX NEWS POLL: ONLY FOUR PEOPLE ON OBAMACARE AND THEY ALL HATE IT • FRANTIC MESSAGE FROM FLIGHT 370'S BLACK BOX, "BATTERY RUNNING LOW. PLEASE PLUG IN THE AC ADAPTER." • OBAMA PROMOTES ECONOMIC OPPURTUNTIES FOR WOMEN "BUT NOT IN THIS COUNTRY" •
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Presidential All Seeing Eye

Kiester Island

Khamenei Rork and Tattoo Ahmadinejad

Bill Clinton and his Asian Harem

Obama squares of with Gandalf the Gray over Health Care

Tactics to Draw Out Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan Questioned, Danish Mohammed cartoons for sale

Second Inconvenient Truth Linked to Al Gore’s Cross-Dressing

Moe-hammad
The Hand of God
Existence of Snuffleupagus Questioned by Expert
Existence of Snuffleupagus Questioned by Expert

New York, NY—Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Bagel Shop, is not convinced a large, as yet undiscovered species of elephantidae, is living within the urban sprawl in and around Sesame Street.

After perusing the area’s refuse, the prominent crypto-zoologist concluded, "The waste could certainly sustain a small garbage-can-dwelling creature, say 2 to 3 feet tall, but I don’t think anything much larger could survive here on the existing food supply."

Dr. Hogbein falls shy of completely dismissing the possibility, but he also believes a creature of such girth would have a hard time remaining unnoticed.

"This isn’t about one creature, there would need to be enough to sustain a sizeable population, which, giving the setting, becomes even more implausible. Show me some hair samples, some scat, anything that would help prove the existence of something this large living in, of all places, a city borough," said Dr. Hogbein.

A large yellow ornithoid, known to the locals, recently passed several lie detector tests and is believed to be the only credible witness.

Upon reviewing this Big Bird’s testimony, Dr. Hogbein stated, "It’s certainly seeing something, but I will give more credence to these eyewitness accounts if this bird underwent a battery of psychological testing."

Dr. Hogbein later suggested to reporters this bird flew into one too many closed windows.

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