Sarcastically Salving Society
Home of the Transcosmetic Party
A Place for Raging Moderates, Tragic Optimists, and Integral Outcasts
June 19, 2013
NEWS FLASH: DAILY DISCORD NOW SPORTING NEW FORMAT, VIDEOS, ETC....AND I POSTED IT NAKED (TRUE STORY) • ON PRESSURE FROM HOMELAND SECURITY DISCORD CANCELS ITS "HUG A SUICIDE BOMBER DAY" • BUTTON FLY JEAN COMPANY ESTABLISHES NO FLY ZONE OVER GAP • FIRST DISCORD ORIGINAL VIDEO "BONEFOOT" IS SET TO PREMIERE ON JUNE 19TH RIGHT HERE! CHECK YOUR SPAM FOLDERS • MAN TASERED 423 TIMES BY POLICE CLAIMS LAST 72 TIMES "UNNECESSARY" • ALICE KRAMDEN TO BE AMONG FIRST ON VIRGIN FLIGHT TO MOON • IS THE DAILY DISCORD SECRETLY SUPPLYING SYRIAN REBELS WITH JOKES? •
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Winnipeg Wilderness Wipes out Warm Weather Wussies

Winnipeg, MB—The start of training camp for the newly relocated Winnipeg Jets met with tragedy last weekend.  The team had just moved to the great white north from Atlanta, GA for the beginning of the 2011-2012 season. Only minutes after the start of their first formal practice, the entire team froze to death right in the arena. Apparently the players could not adjust to the sudden change from Warm Oceanic (Cfa) to a more Temperate Continental (Dfa) climate.

"We should have known better," stated Jim Ludlow, CEO of True North Sports and Entertainment, owner of the Winnipeg Jets. "When the last team moved from Winnipeg to Phoenix, the team never made it off the tarmac.  The entire team spontaneously combusted right there at Sky Harbor Airport. The folks down in Phoenix had to have a barbeque fundraiser to put together a new team.  Luckily, they had plenty of cooked meat on-hand.  The Koho Coyote skewer was a real crowd pleaser."

Prior to the move to Winnipeg there was talk of originally moving the team to Kansas City. In hindsight that would probably have been a more prudent move.

When asked what the path forward was for the Winnipeg Jets, Mr. Ludlow replied, "I guess we’ll have an ice-cream social."

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