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June 18, 2013
NEWS FLASH: DAILY DISCORD NOW SPORTING NEW FORMAT, VIDEOS, ETC....AND I POSTED IT NAKED (TRUE STORY) • ON PRESSURE FROM HOMELAND SECURITY DISCORD CANCELS ITS "HUG A SUICIDE BOMBER DAY" • BUTTON FLY JEAN COMPANY ESTABLISHES NO FLY ZONE OVER GAP • FIRST DISCORD ORIGINAL VIDEO "BONEFOOT" IS SET TO PREMIERE ON JUNE 19TH RIGHT HERE! CHECK YOUR SPAM FOLDERS • MAN TASERED 423 TIMES BY POLICE CLAIMS LAST 72 TIMES "UNNECESSARY" • ALICE KRAMDEN TO BE AMONG FIRST ON VIRGIN FLIGHT TO MOON • IS THE DAILY DISCORD SECRETLY SUPPLYING SYRIAN REBELS WITH JOKES? •
Topics Arts & Culture  47-Year-Old Discovers Function of Cart Corrals  COMING SOON!  Taser Parties: Tase Me Again, Bro!  Ninja Porn Now Available On The Discord  Discord Apology XXII: Into Retractness  Star Trek: Into Beigeness  Ghetto Shaman Vows to be the First to Fly 23-Ton Lego X-Wing Model  Boy Scouts Recognize Gay Youths!  Crawdads Protest Outside of Discord Tower  The Worst Song Ever Written More... News & Politics  Fast & Furious Organizers Selected to Arm Syrian Rebels  Israeli Site Rape or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love Surveillance  Snowden Releases All Personal Emails from X-Girlfriends  Eric Holder’s I Purged Myself Today Tops Charts  GOP Strains Something Trying to Link Obama to IRS Scandal  GOP: Debt, Delusion, and Drudge  Michelle Obama’s Heckler Added To Terrorist Watch…  Bloomberg Responds to Operation: Glazed Donut Greasewich  If I Had a More Powerful Telescope, Amy...  Threatening Letters to Bloomberg Test Positive for Saccharin More... Science & Technology  Antpocalypse Now: Crazy Ants Drive out Fire Ants  Massive Ice Deposits Found in Man’s Freezer  As An Avid Shark Week Watcher...  New Technology Lets Blind See Porn  Has Anyone Seen My Contact Lens?  Voted Best Product 2012: Tens of Thousands of Zombie Feeders Recalled  Putin Downplaying Lake Vostok Zombie Outbreak  WHO: A New Wave of Superbugs Pose Dire Threat  WARNING: Cialis May Cause Public Bathing in Seperate Bathtubs   More... Spirituality & Enlightenment  Ask the Ghetto Shaman  The Horny Goat Weed Question  Ask The Ghetto Shaman  I Don't Always Invent Obama Scandals  God Targeting the Tea Party with Hail and Shit  Ask The Ghetto Shaman    Space For Sale  My Life in Retail: Part One  Alex Bone’s Get Poor Quick Scheme More... Sports  Beasts & Men with Tits: Unsung Heroes of the NFL  Oprah Admits to Using Ratings Enhancing Drugs  The Annual Pine Forest Pick-Up Games Commence  New London Connecticut Mistakenly Prepares for Olympics  Kings Draft New Assistant Coach  Knowing No Hockey Customs, L.A. Kings Just Stare at Stanley Cup Until Fans Leave  Garbage Basketball a Lost Art for One Man  Go Coyotes! No, Really...You Can Move to Seattle  Uh Oh, Tebow's Getting Weird  Winnipeg Wilderness Wipes out Warm Weather Wussies More... Weird & Haunted Travel  Ghost Busted: Team Discord Bested by Rank Amateur  HIKE:  A Four Letter Word for a Reason  Bart Simpson Claims responsibility for "Nightmare Cruise"  The Haunted Palace at Prescott’s Whiskey Row  Plight of the Phoenix: How I Stopped Worrying About On-Coming Traffic and Learned to Love the Valley  Interview by a Vampire  Durango and the Haunted Hotel Hatrick  Haunted Silverton: A Grand Imperial Poltergeist  Ouray’s Western Hotel: A Very Brady Slaughter House  Haunted Colorado or Rocky Mountain High-Ya-Yay More... Contributors Pierce Winslow  Israeli Site Rape or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love Surveillance  Space For Sale  It's Alive, It's ALIVE!  GOP Reveals Vision For Upcoming Budget Negotiations  GOP Furious with Obama's Permanent Changes to the Capitol Building  Aliens Determined to Gangnam Style!    Another 2012 Apocalypse Theory  We Should Win A Pulitzer for This!  Twitanic More... Alex Bone  COMING SOON!  Taser Parties: Tase Me Again, Bro!  Crawdads Protest Outside of Discord Tower  Alex Bone’s Get Poor Quick Scheme  Thai Porn Restaurants Linked to Dolphin Exploitation  Amazon Buys Out All Major Grocery Store Chains  Men Officially Concede Battle of the Sexes  Gun Enthusiasts Use Zombie Threat to Justify Arsenals  Alien Invaders Distressed Over Failed Apocalypse  Discord Resorts to Black Magic to Increase Ratings More... Mick Zano  COMING SOON!  The Horny Goat Weed Question  Ghost Busted: Team Discord Bested by Rank Amateur  Scandal Quest: Would the Real Scandal Please Stand Up  Mother Road Brewing and Deschutes Unite!  A Victory for Gun Owners or for Gun Sellers?  Conservative Legacies: Just Say No  The "Media Research" Center  The Republican Scandal Identifier Kit  The Darker Corner of The TwiRight Zone More... The Crank  Star Trek: Into Beigeness  My Life in Retail: Part One  New York Guido Meets Arizona Gun Show  Beasts & Men with Tits: Unsung Heroes of the NFL  The GOP: Snatching Defeat from the Jaws of Victory  Cranky Predictions for 2013  Catitude: The Cat's Domestication of Mankind  Plight of the Phoenix: How I Stopped Worrying About On-Coming Traffic and Learned to Love the Valley  You Bastards! You Blew It All to Hell!  Dear Fox News More... Erisa Brahe  Antpocalypse Now: Crazy Ants Drive out Fire Ants  New Technology Lets Blind See Porn  Pope Seeks Retirement Advice from Emperor Palpatine  Dino Farts the Cause of Prehistoric Global Warming?  Cannibals Offended by the Name Zombie  Russian Prehistoric Lake Drilling Unleashes Zombie Plague! The Ghetto Shaman  Ask the Ghetto Shaman  Ask The Ghetto Shaman  Ask The Ghetto Shaman  Ask The Ghetto Shaman  Ask The Ghetto Shaman  Ask The Ghetto Shaman  Ask The Ghetto Shaman  Ask The Ghetto Shaman  Ask The Ghetto Shaman  Ask The Ghetto Shaman More... Tony Ballz  The Worst Song Ever Written  Brah!!  Beer And Bloating In Camp Verde  Zombienomics or Night of the Living Prez  It's The Water!  Beyond Irony or Rickrolling in A Pink Unicorn T-shirt  A-Crock-O-Shit Now  Opinions on Politics by a Non-Voter  Records Are Great  NERDS!!!!! More... Bald Tony  HIKE:  A Four Letter Word for a Reason  Chinatown Vegas: You Go Now!  Vegas San Gennaro: Leave the Feast, Take the Cannoli  Another One Bites the Dust  And now for Something Completely Celtic  The First Rule of Pizza Club is Don’t Talk About Pizza Club  Flagstaff’s Big Red Poor  The Heart Attack Grill Charged with Assisted Suicide: No Charge, Cash Only  Porn Free: One Cabby’s Vegas Tail  The Danger and Intrigue of Live Girl Billboards: Turning Road Rage into Road Raging Hard Ons More... Features By Type  Cartoons  Spoof News  Articles  Top Ten Lists  Advice Columns  Video Clips  Faux Ads Distinguished Discord, The Best Of  Cartoons  Spoof News  Articles  Advice Columns Discord Dream Cabinet Discord Disciples (Companion Sites) Subscribe Now Search The Discord About Us Contact Us Site Map Be our friend... ...with benefits Show us your tweets... ...and we'll show you ours		Enlarge... Enlarge... Another 2012 Apocalypse Theory The Twinkie Mother Ship Returns...Angry Enlarge... Twitanic Enlarge... The Tea Party Enlarge... I Don't Always Appear on The Daily Discord But when I do, their server crashes me Enlarge... Obama Dispatches Enterprise to Persian Gulf... ...replacing foreign oil with controlled matter/anti-matter reaction Enlarge... Shocking New DNA Evidence of Wolverine’s Origins! Enlarge... Where is the Supercommittee Now? Who the hell cares? Enlarge... Cantaloupe Attacks More Brazen! Fruit threat level raised to orange Enlarge... "You've Got a Friend in Cheez-it" Campaign Causes Controversy Enlarge... A Story of One Man's Incompetence...and Incontinence Enlarge... Never Mind those Mayans... Enlarge... Squidthulhu! For those three Spongebob/Lovecraft fans out there Enlarge... The Faces of Math Don't be a statistic Enlarge... Enlarge... I don't always read the Discord But when I do I throw up my Dos Equis Enlarge... We Have No Good Nominees? This Late? Release the KRAKEN!!! Enlarge... The Daily Discord... For some piece of mime Enlarge... Etrade Baby Arrested on Insider Trading Charges Will he be tried as an adult? Enlarge... Mattel to Introduce Moose Murder Barbie! Beverly Akerman MSc: Sarah Palin: Moose Murder Barbie Steeps at Mega Tea Party Enlarge... Critics Accuse NRA of Marketing to Children Well, it's better than ballis-tic-tac-toe Enlarge... Send in the Envoy: If anyone can talk Gaddafi down, it's the Burger King mascot Enlarge... Decision 2012, The New Face of Roulette I'll take barrel #4 Enlarge... The Discord's Beatifcation of Pope John Paul II Enlarge... Ghetto Shaman Set to Take D.C. by Storm! But will the Shaman stop wanking to O'Donnell ads long enough to attend? Enlarge... Tactics to Draw Out Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan Questioned Enlarge... You Shall Not Pass!!!! Desperate to stop Obamacare, Republicans enlist Gandalf the Grey Enlarge... Parachuting from Responsibility to Profit And it’s worth ever penny… Enlarge... Enlarge... Jacko's Doctor Speaks Out: Sure I Moved the Body... ...would you leave Neverland willingly? Enlarge... I Don't Care What You Do to Me... I won't wear those damned ears. Enlarge... Enlarge... Obama Claims Dealing with Iran is Not Difficult You just need to understand the dynamics involved Enlarge... Maersk Line's Answer to Somali Pirates The new MV Maersk Phalanx Enlarge... Newly Leaked CIA Torture Pics Raise More Questions than They Answer Enlarge... Proof of an Evolution of Consciousness? Enlarge... Ode to Nunchaku How many nuns would a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns? Enlarge... Romer Picked to Head Economic Advisory Council Yabba Dabba Dough! Enlarge... Kiester Island Where Karl Rove should be exiled if he fails to testify before Congress Enlarge... Enlarge... 2008 Election: Redneck Reaction Enlarge... With Heath Ledger gone will it really be a problem finding the next Joker? Enlarge... Discord Discovers Shriver Secret Identity Enlarge... Enlarge... Enlarge... The Campaign Slogan That May Have Cost Him The Nomination Enlarge...	COMING SOON! More Videos... I Don't Always Invent Obama Scandals God Targeting the Tea Party with Hail and Shit Ask The Ghetto Shaman “Beware the Irrational, However Seductive” —Christopher Hitchens Obama Smacks Baby, Drops Pants, and Screams Allahu Akbar! The Worst Song Ever Written Untitled NASA to Melt Down Armstrong Statue to Meet Payroll Space For Sale My Life in Retail: Part One Untitled Indiana Woman Suing Juan Valdez Let's Combine Nationalism, Religion, and Propaganda! Angered Christie to Fight the Next Sandy with Sand! Mother Road Brewing and Deschutes Unite! It's Alive, It's ALIVE! Massive Ice Deposits Found in Man’s Freezer Brah!! “Why is the President afraid to use the word terrorist?” --Dennis Miller Bush Library Added to List of War Crimes Alex Bone’s Get Poor Quick Scheme W Says Jeb is the Man for 2016 School Fieldtrip Visits Last Moderate Republican A Victory for Gun Owners or for Gun Sellers? The Cycle of Wife After Ricin & Boston Attack U.S. To Invade Germany Ask The Ghetto Shaman Conservative Legacies: Just Say No Discord Musical Quest for Fiber Flops! Seven Mythical Creatures Dead after Botched Narnian Drone Attack HIKE:  A Four Letter Word for a Reason As An Avid Shark Week Watcher... Holder Reveals Plan to End 2nd Amendment Ask The Ghetto Shaman Ghidorah vs. Mozilla Flops At Box Office! Drummer of Popular Band Still Alive at 30 The "Media Research" Center Republicans Look to Return to a Simpler Time The Easter Story Cover Up Ask The Ghetto Shaman New Technology Lets Blind See Porn Has Anyone Seen My Contact Lens? Local Man Remembers Middle School As "Being Larger" Ask The Ghetto Shaman Thai Porn Restaurants Linked to Dolphin Exploitation The Shroud Of The Dirty War Has Fallen... Obama Calls for "Courage" In Face of Pending Release of Discord Videos New York Guido Meets Arizona Gun Show Voted Best Product 2012: Tens of Thousands of Zombie Feeders Recalled Ask The Ghetto Shaman The Republican Scandal Identifier Kit CPAC Summary: This Time Let's Get Crazy Right! Putin Downplaying Lake Vostok Zombie Outbreak Amazon Buys Out All Major Grocery Store Chains GOP Reveals Vision For Upcoming Budget Negotiations Vatican Bought By Target Ask The Ghetto Shaman Beer And Bloating In Camp Verde WHO: A New Wave of Superbugs Pose Dire Threat Sequester Forces "Ramen Noodle Wednesdays" at White House
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