Sarcastically Salving Society
Home of the Transcosmetic Party
A Place for Raging Moderates, Tragic Optimists, and Integral Outcasts
November 27, 2014
OBAMA DECLARES WAR ON POISONOUS FLORIDA CATERPILLAR • PELOSI: REPUBLICANS ENDANGER CIVILIZATION • ZANO: PELOSI HAS RARE, ACCURATE STATEMENT • WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO SEND SHIT FOR THIS MARQUEE/TICKER THING, ZANO! JESUS, WHAT AM I NOT PAYING YOU FOR? —PIERCE WINSLOW • OBAMA ADMITS TO SPENDING ALL NATION'S FLEX-FUNDS ON GOLF, STARBUCKS AND BEER • CONGRESS APPROVES BILL TO...HA HA HAH! KIDDING! CONGRESS DOESN’T APPROVE BILLS • TOP LIBERALS STRESS DIPLOMACY WHEN NEGOTIATING WITH EBOLA VIRUS •
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Dick Cheyney: In My Pants
Presidential All Seeing Eye

Kiester Island

Khamenei Rork and Tattoo Ahmadinejad

Bill Clinton and his Asian Harem

Obama squares of with Gandalf the Gray over Health Care

Tactics to Draw Out Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan Questioned, Danish Mohammed cartoons for sale

Second Inconvenient Truth Linked to Al Gore’s Cross-Dressing

Moe-hammad
The Hand of God
Buy Jack Primus NOW!!!
Cranky Crank’s Damage Repair
By The Crank
Cranky Crank’s Damage Repair
The Crank

At this point in my life I have been instructed by my orthopedist that I will not fare as good as my Mom did with the arthritis. In my case, if nothing is done it will kill me, and sooner rather than later. The scoliosis in my lower back is bad but not terminal. My neck is another story. Over the years I have graduated from one big chin to many big chins. Of course I realized this is partly because of Pasta and Twinkies, but also because for some reason I was losing height in my neck area.


Interview With the Zanblogger
By Cokie McGrath
Cokie McGrath

The Discord’s CEO Pierce Winslow asked me to hunt down Mick Zano to conduct an important interview. The boss-man is based out of Philly and he wants to get to the bottom of some recent disturbing trends occurring here in the southwest. He’s worried about some of Zano’s cryptic emails, his strange business receipts, the lack of viable material and his increased bail requests. It begs the question, has Zano completely lost his mind after the midterms? So I agreed to track him down and get some answers, for a small fee.


Charlie Manson Upgrades Forehead Tattoo
Charlie Manson Upgrades Forehead Tattoo

Corcoran State Prison, CA—In a move that many are calling overdue, mass murderer Charles Manson is finally changing his toon about his tat.  This will not change the minds of the California parole board and, as Manson attests, is not even an indication he’s moving away from Neo-Nazism. Manson describes the original tattoo as a symbol misunderstanding made long ago.

"I found out this thing that’s been on my forehead for over half a century is actually the ancient Hindu symbol for well-being," said Manson. "Can you believe that shit? Talk about a slap in the face. It’s enough to make a guy want to spit, which is really one of the only things to do here in prison."


Dear Hollywood, Please Get Post-Apocalyptic Vegas Right!
By Mick Zano
Mick Zano

What is wrong with Hollywood?! The off base depictions of Las Vegas after the blast is really starting to bother me, like diner food. Have you ever noticed that, post some catastrophe or another, Las Vegas instantly turns into the Sahara Desert? Sure there’s a Sahara Avenue but there is no way Vegas will become Lawrence of Arabia six months into some zombie apocalypse.


Reptilican Virus Spreading in the Elderly
By Mick Zano
Mick Zano

Sure Ebola is a big problem, if you live in West Africa, but here in the good old U.S. there’s a more insidious virus infecting our populous. Conservative "thought" is now airborne and spreads through only a couple of powerful media sources. It can trigger an immediate emotional response from the more primitive centers of the brain, akin to a brain fart. The Limbaugic system?


Zano’s 21 Day of Self-Imposed Ebola Isolation Deemed 'Job Avoidance' Stunt
By Mick Zano
Zano’s 21 Day of Self-Imposed Ebola Isolation Deemed 'Job Avoidance' Stunt

Flagstaff, AZ—Discord staffer, Mick Zano, was cleared of the Ebola virus earlier this week by a nurse he hired by the hour from Vegas. The story of his exposure to the deadly virus unraveled shortly thereafter. His 21-day isolation at McMullen’s Pub was all part of a stunt that started out as a bet—with the same nurse he hired by the hour from Vegas.  Zano reported traveling to Liberia to cover a breaking story for The Daily Discord. CEO of The Daily Discord, Pierce Winslow, arranged for the expedition for what was billed as a story on climate change’s impact on the predatory West African mangrove. Winslow grew suspicious, however, when Zano arranged a Skype session, wherein Zano claimed to be in Sierra Leone but Winslow could clearly hear a live punk version of "Drunken Sailor" in the background.


The Ebola Spring
By Pokey McDooris
Pokey McDooris

There's been a lot of hate speech directed at the Ebola Virus lately, and I think it’s time for people to stand up for the rights of the Unrepresented Parasiticals. We Americans are so human-centric, talking about containing the Ebola, fighting Ebola, and eradicating Ebola. We’re arming doctors, who seem to know no borders. They are nothing but mercenaries who should pick on someone their own size. The question I want all of you anthropomorphs to consider is this: doesn't the Ebola Virus have rights to?

Obama Uses Executive Order to Overrule Turkey Pardon
Obama Uses Executive Order to Overrule Turkey Pardon, Darrell Issa calling for a full investigation of "Turkey-gate".
Darrell Issa calling for a full investigation of "Turkey-gate".
 
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The GOP: Putting the ID Back Into Ideology
The GOP: Putting the ID back into Ideology
 
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Fat Albert and Several Cosby Kids Allege Cosby Abuse
Fat Albert and Several Cosby Kids Allege Cosby Abuse
 
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Stay Calm and Daily Discord
Stay Calm and Daily Discord, We just had an anniversary! Not sure which one.
We just had an anniversary! Not sure which one.
 
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Discord’s Scotland Independence Post Deemed a Hoax
Discord’s Scotland Independence Post Deemed a Hoax "That’s not the groundskeeper Willy of old! Imposter!"<br />—Scotty from Star Trek
"That’s not the groundskeeper Willy of old! Imposter!"
—Scotty from Star Trek
 
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Bush Senior: Wakes up Every Morning in Cold Sweat Asking, "Is George Jr Still in Charge?"
Bush Senior: Wakes Up Every Morning in Cold Sweat asking, “Is George Jr still in Charge?” Reports also having recurring dream of throwing up on Prime Minister of Japan
Reports also having recurring dream of throwing up on Prime Minister of Japan
 
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Adults...Shouldn't We Just Keep Electing Them?
Adults...Shouldn't We Just Keep Electing Them?
 
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Dated Discord
High Life in the Pines Indie Music Festival: Featuring Lit
By Tony Ballz
Tony Ballz

The following occurred at the Pepsi Amphitheater at Fort Tuthill, Flagstaff Aug. 26-27, 2011. The names have been changed to protect the irrelevant. Lit were awesome! What a great show! Alright, I’m lying. I didn’t see them at all but that’s OK because I don’t care for their music and I was at the venue for less than two hours and I only saw 1 1/2 bands and I got in for free.


Zano: Inconsolable, Sobbing and Refusing to Leave Local Bar
By Mick Zano
Mick Zano

Crow is delicious. Mmmm, crow. I predicted the Dems would hang onto the Senate, or would at least make it an interesting fight. Welcome to my wrongness. I reckon’ed at least two republican candidates would self-disqualify themselves with gaffes to keep this thing tight. And, yes, ya’ll have to use words like ‘reckoned’ now. Not sure of the spelling or where that doohickey goes but don’t worry, in the face of encroaching illiteracy, I’m pushing my own Stand Your Grammar laws. But fair is fair, we must congratulate the winners—all one percent of them.


The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1
The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1
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Congressman’s Protest in Front of Library Ends Poorly
Congressman’s Protest in Front of Library Ends Poorly

Fremont, NE—The Campbell camp is on damage control today after congressman Ted Campbell (R) organized a protest outside of Keene Memorial Library.  After watching a Fox News segment, the two term Congressman became convinced that librarians living here in this country illegally were spreading Ebola to good Fox fearing Americans.

Campbell believes Al-Qaeda and ISIS operatives have been training and sending librarian "shusher cells" to decimate the American population. "What do we really know about the Dewey Decimal system?" said Congressman Campbell. "No, really, I never learned that."


Jack Primus Thwarts Conservative Attempt to Reanimate Undead Voters
By Alex Bone
Alex Bone

Scallywag Tavern—In a bid to clinch the Senate in the coming midterm elections as well as impress chicks, the Skull and Bones chapter of the Republican Party is working out a deal with the devil known as Mamook, a pod of the Migo, and the corpse of Michael Jackson. In a last dying gasp to attempt to hold on to political relevance they have hatched a truly diabolical plan. They aim to stretch out the Day of the Dead until November 4th, pardon the pundit. The Republican Reanimation Attempt to Take the Senate (RATS) is complete and they have that buzzzzz thing from Frankenstein’s laboratory.


Please Find Literate Folks to Defend the Constitution
By Mick Zano
Mick Zano

The Constitution of the Divided States of ‘Murica is akin to The Bible, in that republicans worship it despite a nearly complete inability to understand any of the meaningful bits. Thou shalt not Teabag? I believe, post 9/11, the Constitution died. Rest In Parchment? My message then, to anyone who would listen, was this: the 2008 presidential election signaled a shift from an inauguration to a coronation, so forgive me if constitutional indiscretions seem passé. Post 9/11 our checks and balances collapsed at the feet of an imperial presidency and, yes Pokey, I make no apologies for showing some relief in the fact our current monarch has an IQ above that of a turnip. I realize this is an affront to those citizens of Turnipsylvania.


A Confused Canada Challenges ISIS to Pick up Hockey Game
A Confused Canada Challenges ISIS to Pick Up Hockey Game

Montreal, CA—In response to the recent terrorist act, Prime Minister of the Canadian Parliament Stephen Harper, is less than pleased with his Skype session with Abu Bakr al Baghdadi, the head of the Islamic State. Their on-line meeting was plagued with translation difficulties, explosions, and streaming issues that tragically spilled over into the first period of Sunday’s Blackhawk/Senators game. 

Prime Minister Harper suggested the two factions settle their differences by "meeting over a Molson and maybe playing some hockey, eh?" To the dismay of the Canadian Parliament this request was met by calls to "behead the Canadian infidels!"

Harper told The Discord today, "I know we already called this recent veteran car attack an ‘act of terror’, but this is Canada. Before we make our ultimate decision we must defer any final judgment to our goal judges in Toronto, eh? You know, after we review the instant replay."

Before the Most Interesting Man in the World...
Before the Most Interesting Man in the World...
 
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Somehow This Captures the Essence of the Midterms
Somehow this Captures the Essence of the Midterms
 
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Post Midterms: Discord Reaches Potty Humor Capacity
Post Midterms: Discord Reaches Potty Humor Capacity
 
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Republicans Seize the Dung! Crape Diem?
Republicans Seize the Dung! Crape Diem? A great day for spoof news, not so much for mankind
A great day for spoof news, not so much for mankind
 
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Colorado's First Pot Related Fatality
Colorado's First Pot Related Fatality
 
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Typhoid Kaci? Will Obama Authorize Drone Strike on Quarantine-Violating Nurse?
Typhoid Kaci? Will Obama Authorize Drone Strike on Quarantine-Violating Nurse? What can you do to keep your family safe from rogue healthcare workers?
What can you do to keep your family safe from rogue healthcare workers?
 
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Introducing the President and Vice President of the United States!
Introducing the President and Vice President of the United States! Boo! Happy Halloween from The Daily Discord
Boo! Happy Halloween from The Daily Discord
 
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Discord Videos
The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1
The Final Final Ending of S.T.Q Episode 1
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The Exciting Conclusion of Search Truth Quest: Ep 1
The Exciting Conclusion of Search Truth Quest: Ep 1
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Subscribe to the Discord
 Search Truth Quest: EP 1 PT 4:
Speed Powder
 Search Truth Quest: EP1 Part 3: Lair of the Hot Barista
 Search Truth Quest: Part 2 EP 1: Undulating Maggots of Doom
 Search Truth Quest: Part 1 EP1: Chud Vendetta
More Videos...
Decrepit Discord
 A Confused Canada Challenges ISIS to Pick up Hockey Game
 CDC Downplaying Ebola Victims Sudden Craving for Human Flesh
 Let’s Do the Time Warp Again
 Discord Endorses Warren Webb Ticket!
 Is the Constitution Obsolete in This Zano Nation?
 Discord Business Model Switching to "All Cats and Babies"
 The Exciting Conclusion of Search Truth Quest: Ep 1
 Discord Fast Approaching One Ad Per One Lawsuit Ratio
 Hundreds Washed to Sea During Cyclone Protest in India
 Kim Jong Un a No Show for Discord Beer Trek Competition
 Alternate Universe Vindicates Bush
 Discord Get Out the Vote Efforts Questioned
 Applause Trailing Off Mid-Set for Local Coffee Shop Duo
 As the Graham McCain Turns
 Once More Unto the Embassy Breach, Dear Friends
 Calvin and Hannity
 Battle Beneath the Planet of Benghazi
 Obama Deploys "Special Ebola Task Force" to Dallas
 Search Truth Quest: EP 1 PT 4:
Speed Powder
 White House Fence Jumper Squatting in East Room
 Flo Takes Massive Pay Cut Switching to Ailing “News” Blog
 Coalition of the Falling: Ebola Fed Ex
 Putin Annexes Pabst! Pabst Red Ruskies?
 Rise of the Radical Republican?  Boehner Inaction Figure Sold Separately
 Pope Appoints New Arches Bishop
 Is Dropping Ebola Victims on ISIL Brilliant or Diabolical?
 New Ray Rice Elevator Creating Fun and Controversy!
 Obama Creates Coalition of the Good Luck With That
 Scotland! Scotland! Scotland!
 Search Truth Quest: EP1 Part 3: Lair of the Hot Barista
 Draco Malfoy to Head Next Benghazi Witch Hunt
 Bigfoot Exonerated for Ripper Deaths!
 Giant Joint Image "Worth Its Weed in Gold" to Discord Photoshopper
 Sith Lord Revealed! Cheney Controlling President Through Darkside
 Danzig, Black Sabbath and Jesus
 In Show of Strength Obama Hoists Severed Head of Boehner on Meet the Press
 Grand Old Party to Ban Every Smarty
 Bands of Angry Displaced Cactus Roaming the Streets
 Missing Immigrant Children Smuggled to Swing States Via Metro-ground Railway
 Joan Rivers, Best Known for Her Role in the Muppets Take Manhattan, Is Dead at 81
 Rhyolite Nevada: a Place That Makes Other Ghost Towns Seem Bustling
 Is She No Better Than a Republican?
 Hackers Refusing to Release Naked Zano Pics
 Kazoo Legend Slim Addelson Inducted Into Kazoo Hall of Fame
 Dalai Discord Recruits Lama!
 Who’s More Serious About Climate Change? ISIS IS!
 A Theory Emerges From Ancient Astronaut Ornithologists
 Prescott’s Haunted Hotel St. Michael: Oops, Ghost Found
 Burger King Abandons U.S. for Canada!
 Discord CEO Moves All Reporters Into a 1957 Winnebago
 Rand's Brand Banned in Fox Land
 Search Truth Quest: Part 2 EP 1: Undulating Maggots of Doom
 Another Controversial Discord Ad
 Putting the 'Fun' Back Into Fundamentalism
 This Day in Future History: President Perry Bombs U.N.
 Orson Calling Mork: Orken Spacecraft Surround Earth!
 Parmesan Cheese Newest Tool in Battle Against Drug Addiction
 Obama Asks Bush About That Mission Accomplished Banner
 Flagstaff’s McMillan Pub: the Good, the Bad, and the Zano
 Lauren Bacall, Best Known for Her Role in Scooby-Doo: the Goblin King, Is Dead at 89
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