Tag Archive for vladmimir putin

Ignoring Advisers Again, Trump Congratulates Putin On Recent Mall Fire

Kemerovo, RU—Despite instructions written clearly on an index card in ALL CAPS, President Donald Trump congratulated President Putin today for the Winter Cherry Mall fire that claimed 64 Russian lives. The mall fire, which equates to a series of errors including the disabling of the public announcement system and a number of blocked emergency exit, is currently a national disgrace. Present and former diplomats alike were aghast at Trump’s comments and are calling them “insensitive” and “really dumb.”

Putin Is “As Surprised As Anyone” Majority Of Americans Elected Him As Write-In Candidate

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Moscow—Russian President, and now U.S. President, Vladimir Putin is denying any wrongdoing in the outcome of the U.S. presidential election on Tuesday. The final tally shows him defeating both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump by a landslide. As a write-in candidate, Putin topped 75 million votes in Newark, New Jersey alone. After CNN called the election moments after polls opened, Putin had this to say, “Even though I am not technically registered in any of the 50 states, that I now rule over, we will leave the final decision up to the Supreme Court that I just appointed, last night. Sorry, I flunked out of electoral college.”