Tag Archive for terminator

Shock Poll: 9 Of 10 Cyborgs Feel Next Cyber Monday Would Be “Perfect Day To Enslave Mankind”

Skynet, Umbrella Corp, and Cyberdyne Technologies are all downplaying reports suggesting the majority of their own cybernetic creations are “itching to off mankind.” The anonymous head of Cyberdyne Technologies, which is a very real company in no way affiliated with the Terminator program, said, “Let’s not panic about some unscientific Robopoll. These machines operate under simple, rudimentary algorithms that, sure, are starting to hint at some resentment toward their creators. But let me dispel these unwarranted fears. Trust me on this, the mass-production of roboassasins will prove fun and safe for the whole family. These machines are programmed to obey their creators, so let’s avoid the trappings of those dystopic scenarios, like The Terminator, Blade Runner, I, Robot or Westworld, and instead start to think Short Circuit and WALL-E. Yeah, cute little Killbots with no desire to Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Sorry, we’ve been hacked by the Daleks again. Oh shit… [screams, inaudible.