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Pope Loses His Shit While Waiting For Putin


ANSA824786_ArticoloMoscow, RU—After being late for their first meeting, Russian President Vladimir Putin asked the Pope to be his guest at the Kremlin. The Pope agreed but unfortunately Putin arrived even later to greet His Holiness for this second meeting. Bored and frustrated, the Pope allegedly tore down a tapestry of Putin, broke an ornate clock in Putin’s likeness, and then threw a bust of Putin out of a second story Kremlin window. Russian officials have confirmed the plunging bust did, in fact, damage the nose of a statue of Putin in the square below.

Putin’s tardiness is legendary as he was 14 minutes late to greet the Queen of England, three hours late to greet Secretary of State John Kerry, and a whopping five weeks late to greet a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses, who incidentally were never seen again. Some believe the Dalai Lama is still waiting in a little café just off of Red Square, as Putin allegedly “promised to pick up the tab.”