Conservatives are quick to quote the Constitution and complain how the left is always out to destroy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness …well, at least liberals can multitask. Kidding! Republicans have shown an aptitude for starting and losing multiple conflicts simultaneously. Does anyone else find it odd how conservative-types only seem content when they’re gutting our liberties in the name of freedom? Or, how they seem to have just a little ISIS in ’em when dealing with restroom transgender issues? So let’s kick the tires, look under the hood, and find out why our Republican friends keep trying to sell us such a liberty lemon. How about we start with some happiness indexes, because they always depress me.
Tag Archive for political satire
This Day In Future History: Trump Names X-Men’s Magneto To Head Department Of Energy
by Mick Zano •
Donald Trump Receives Honorary Degree From Trump University
by Mick Zano •
New York, NY—Donald Trump was all smiles today as he held aloft his honorary degree from Trump University. Dean Izzy Credentialed claims, “The honorary version of our six-figure degree is just as valid as the real thing. Sadly.” Upon receiving the honor, Trump stated, “I don’t generally do the humbled thing, but if I did, this would be that time …but, again, I don’t, so NO.” In the same ceremony, Trump was also presented with the Key to Trump Tower, from his maintenance guy, Steve.
Is The Republican Establishment Starting To Accept Its Fate?
by Mick Zano •
The Discord Is Calling It For Madam President: HRC Is DNC’s New VIP
by Mick Zano •
Northeast Votes! Are You Ready To FUM-BLE!
by Mick Zano •
The Deming Down Of ‘Murica’s Cultural Identity
by Mick Zano •
What is our cultural identity and why is it important? What does it mean to be an American in the 21st century? We are very divided, which has implications for both our identity and our future. Amidst any discussion these days, bipartisanship breaks out faster than a Ferguson Missouri Trump rally riot. Today, the Republican fringe is preparing for a holy war and factions of our New Age liberals are worried about an alien invasion from Nibiru. Hmmm, so how do we reconcile these two groups? Onward Christian Mulder?
Dr. Buzzkill Thinks America Is Too Hooked On Midget Porn
by Mick Zano •
My friend Pokey has some concerns about our cultural identity, our withering values, and our founding documents. Just stop following me on Twitter, dude. Start there. Pokey’s so concerned about the Constitution that he’s considering voting for a fascist to defend it. He’s so concerned about our cultural identity that he’ll champion bigots and zealots. Cultural Identity Disorder? As usual we don’t agree on how we got here, our priorities, our next steps, austerity or stimulus ….pumps or stilettos. It’s like that time I waited for you at Moriarity’s Pub. We were only blocks away from Philadelphia’s Freedom Trail and you turned that night into a Trail of Tears. I should have went with pumps. *sob* …wait, was that Boston? Don’t get me started on what you did in Boston!
Angus Young Finally Graduates High School: He’s Being Asked To Return His School Uniform
by Mick Zano •
Sydney, AU—The lead guitarist for the popular Australian rock band AC/DC, Angus Young, is back in the news today. The rock legend is finally receiving his high school diploma from Ashfield Boys High School Academy in Sydney, Australia. Young has attended the school on and off since 1976 and has now met all of his high school equivalency credits. The snafu with this achievement came in the form of a letter from the headmaster, demanding Angus return his official high school uniform by the end of the school day.
