Michael Pence is someone who’s been on the edge of my radar for a long time. This man is evil. His positions have always been a little too fire-and-brimstone for my tastes. There was a time when such beliefs were at the cutting edge of mankind’s collective consciousness …you know, like a thousand years ago. So what can we expect from the VP-elect? Lots of scandals, great scandals. The best scandals! Whereas Cheney was more of a Bond villain criminal-mastermind type, Pence will be more of the evangelical, holy warrior dropped-on-his-head-as-a-child-by-God type. Keep in mind, this group has a considerably lower IQ than the Bushies. Roll that around in your mouth for while. Actually, don’t do that. That’s probably how Ebola started.
Trump Tower—The Trump campaign is still confident of either a decisive win on November 35th, or at least a golden opportunity to cry foul. Team Trump is now flaunting a recent Donald poll as proof the race is much tighter than it appears. Donald Trump told reporters, “We have proof I’m winning. We conducted our own poll, a very scientific poll, using only the best science. The best. If the election were held today for the people in my office, as long as that bitch Betty wasn’t around, we would have this thing wrapped up.” When asked if such a small sample can really have any relevance to how the nation may vote next month, Trump said, “Sure it can. This office is a slice of Americana. We have Ben over there, who isn’t exactly black but he’s clearly darker than anyone else the room. We have both genders represented, mostly, and even one very, very short dude. The guy is practically a midget and, as you probably already know, we’re killing it with midgets, creepy clowns, and everyone else in the carnival and/or circus industries.”