Sierra Vista, AZ—The Head of Homeland Incarceration, Sherriff Joe Aripio, is pleased to announce the opening of a Delaware-sized prison in the heart of the U.S. Sonaran desert. President Trump told the press today, “This is huge. No, really, it’s a big place. By allowing the free market to work we are shifting the management of the majority of our National Camps to the best internment people. The best. This will help out the tax payer bigly, because I got Mexicans and liberals to build the thing! Not only can we all save some money on this deal, we can keep minorities in a safe place. Not forever. We just don’t know which side people are on anymore, because, let’s face it, I’ve pissed off everybody—even that Russian asshole who got me elected. We just want to keep minorities safe and sound while we figure it all out.” When asked to elaborate on “figuring it all out” Trump said, “Well, whether or not they’re really white enough. Deep down.”

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