Tag Archive for foreign policy

The GOP 3-Step: Create Terror, Lose Wars, Win Elections

chicken-hawkMLLWhat do we know about Republican foreign policy? About as much as they do, nadda, nichts, zilch. We do know they want to bomb everything that moves. On that note, my friend Keith is screwed. When polled, nearly a third of our rightwing citizenry want to bomb Agrabah (a fictional Disney city). True story …not about Aladdin, the poll. We must convince the Sultans of Swing to magic-carpet-bomb the animated menace! Say what you will, but there’s probably a better argument to invade Agrabah then there was for Iraq. After all, Agrabah does pose a clear threat to greater Ishtar. If we invade anywhere, it needs to be Mulan. That little bitch is becoming a real problem. But I doubt Trump could even find Mulan, On Demand.

Obama’s Foreign Policy: The Good, The Bad, & The Romney

obamaFPWhen George W. Bush guessed history would compare him to Truman, I knew he was smoking crack. Kidding, he would have ‘presidented’ much better on crack. While he was banking on the whole eventually-history-will-dig-me premise, I knew he would ultimately be compared to Kim Kardashian (at least gluteuphorically). I believe that’s a Palin-drome. Meanwhile, Obama clearly has a fighting chance at the Truman Show. Granted, most of his cards are resting in the Iran nuke-basketa basket that could mushroom at any moment. Khrushchev at ground zero? Sorry, it’s a Weird Al joke.