Turkey—Turkey’s President Tayyip Erdogan is reaching out to a 15-year-old young man from Carlstadt, NJ, who just purchased his country on eBay for a measly 500 ₺. Turkey continues to suffer from a major economic collapse, spurred by growing inflation and stifling tariffs. Now the country remains teetering on the brink of a full sophomoric dictatorship. In an address on turkey’s national television today, President Erdogan pleaded with the boy to: “Sell me back my country, you little shit! We can rent to own, or something.”