Oceans 11 (because our oceans go to 11)—Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Casino, has put forth a controversial new theory of our ancient oceans. Dr. Hogbein believes the early Ordovician period, traditionally believed to have been dominated by giant nautiloids and hemorrhoids, was actually ruled by a giant extinct submarine known as megalasub. “These were truly giants of the deep,” said Hogbein, “Nothing could have stood a chance against a submarine that could grow to the length of 375 meters. Could you imagine if Subway served a 375 meter long sub? I can’t, thankfully.”