Dumb Texts
This page is dedicated to the non stop dumb ass texts that are exchanged regularly between Discord Staff. Each week we pick our favorite to share with our four fans.
Posted: February 26, 2014
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Tucson is an interesting town. I immediately got a sense of the local color here, which is beige. All color in Arizona, local or otherwise, is some derivative of beige. Upon pulling into town I was greeted by a man yelling out of his car window, “Pick a lane, asshole!” and I thought, “Wow, I’m home.”
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Posted: April 4, 2015
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Carlsbad, CA—The water is about gone in California and breweries are responding to Governor Jerry Brown’s call to action. Instead of moving back east with their parents, many master brewers are thinking outside the box. Many California residents are praising brewpubs owners for their ingenuity, but others are questioning the final product.
Drought Brewing is excited to announce the release of their Arid Ale as well as a Bone-Dry Bitter. Jack Parched, the Master Brewer of H²No Brewery, said, “We’re also aging a barley wine style beer as our seasonal. I call it the Barley Drinkable.”
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Posted: November 21, 2015
Las Vegas, NV—It’s been awhile since I’ve paid homage to the Guinness Gods, but I wish I was returning to this topic under better circumstances. I bring terrible news. It’s not about the Mets; it’s much worse. Guinness is taking the trace amounts of fish bladder from their famous malt-roasted magic. I know, I know,…
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