Dumb Texts

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This page is dedicated to the non stop dumb ass texts that are exchanged regularly between Discord Staff. Each week we pick our favorite to share with our four fans.

 

U.S. Convinces Iran to Turn Nuke Program Into Brewery

U.S. Convinces Iran to Turn Nuke Program into Brewery

Tehran, IR—The State Department is hailing the recent development of Iran’s decision to convert their uranium enrichment facilities into breweries as a “major achievement”. Iran won’t have any power but they will have porters. The United Nations supports Iran’s decision to brew beer and approved the distribution of cans, bottles, and growlers. They have yet to give Tehran the go-ahead to produce 22 oz. bombers as there remains a lingering fear that this could be a gateway size.

Iran Brewery will feature several flagship beers including a dry-hopped Infidel IPA, a Sharia Sour, a peach-flavored Genocider, and a Death to American Pale Ale. The Mohammed Malt Liquor was pulled from the racks, however, after an artist died on the rack for what Iran officials are calling “a label design mishap.”

The View from My Guinness: A Stout Pours in Sedona

The View from My Guinness: A Stout Pours in Sedona
Mick Zano

I have been living in northern Arizona for almost a few years now and I have both loved and loathed nearby Sedona.  It’s such wonderful place, a place sacred to both the Hopi and hobo alike, and yet there’s always something missing.  One thing that comes to mind is the lack of a well poured Guinness—actually, any Guinness for that matter. 

Is Craft Beer Bad For Your Sex Life? Those Craft Brew Beer Fart Blues

As the number of craft breweries in the U.S. climbs to 3,500, psychologists are taking note of a developing phenomenon. Studies suggest craft beer drinkers are having less sex. Mick Zano may hold to his man-boob phytoestrogen theory, here, but I think there’s something else lingering in the air. (Visited 475 times, 1 visits today)

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