Information: Why We No Longer Get Any

Mick Zano

Here’s what makes me crazy! …well, besides my diagnosis. During any given news cycle some source article or another somewhere on the web is immediately translated into something resembling political pink slime (PPS).  This new version of reality is then disseminated through Fox News, AM radio and any number of social sites for the purpose of perpetuating an easily dismissible false narrative. An example? How about: Godzilla Sighted Near Coastal City shows up on Twitter as Is Obama Weak on Radioactively Enlarged Reptiles?

Oh, you want real examples. Okay…hmm, did I mention the Mothra one? Actually, for real examples you don’t have to look far. I recently received this in my inbox: Do Penalties for Smokers and the Obese Make Sense? This is a nice little story which begs the question: should we tax sweets and cigarettes more to offset the cost of healthcare issues associated with these products? Of course that’s the source article, which is certainly a topic worthy of debate, but what came to me via the Fox-Newsian-filter was: Lib Media Already Pushing Death Panels for Fat People and Smokers!

I mentioned another example a few posts back when some right-winger claimed Obama Pays for CNN’s Content! The source article, in this case, was an interesting Glenn Greenwald Guardian piece. I’m afraid he would not recognize the Foxeteer’s translation…er, nor would anyone else. But this is happening every day, all over the web. Sadly, my beloved blogosphere is part of the problem. What scant facts we receive is Twitterized for your enjoyment. Whereas the Left has their issues, only the Right seems to routinely create news from the ether. And, as for Obamacare:

Hear ye, hear ye,

Rich people will always have access to good healthcare in the U.S. and now, thanks to Barack Obama, poor people will at least have access to the basics.



P.S. I know, I know scary stuff.

The ongoing Obamacare angle from the Right will amount to highlighting every story like this: Pickled Drunkard Denied Third Liver Dies! Of course, in a Republican run world the original story would read: Pickled Drunkard Denied Substance Abuse Services or Any Medical Care Whatsoever Dies in Hospital Lobby. Yeah, that sounds so much better. Fear death panels. Got it.

We have had and always will have a team of individuals deciding whether or not an individual has enough money and/or coverage for certain medical procedures. And, as we go broke, it’s only going to get uglier, Obamacare or otherwise. This shit already happens every day in the U.S. and the fact so many seem oblivious to this reality is another example of a segment I like to call, “Here’s another subject the GOP doesn’t seems to know dick about.”  To see another subject the GOP doesn’t seem to know dick about, turn on Fox News right now…

All-or-none thinking, a key theme on the Right, is the story I’ve been covering for years and someday the media will take notice.  Summary: things I blog about generally becomes news in about a year or so and thing the Foxeteers blog about becomes either a tragedy or a comedy.  Doocy or not Doocy, that is the question.

As this relates to Obamacare, the GOP bifurcates reality into either:

You are a “taker”: you should die in the lobby because I don’t want to kick in for the bill.

You are a “maker”: we have blocked the entire third floor of John Hopkins for you, sir, and Dr. House is flying in with your Benadryl as we speak. Can I get you a nurse or maybe something from the naughty variety?

Of course, these are extremes but, thanks to folks like Sean Hannity, that’s all these folks seem to understand. And, no matter what they do for a living and no matter how many liberal entitlements they have personally taken advantage of, the Foxeteers will always consider themselves the “makers” and everyone else, no matter how educated or hardworking or affluent will be considered the “takers”.  Nothing in the middle has EVER made sense to these folks. It’s why even when they have a point—which is exceedingly rare—they still get it wrong.

I started out as a “pox on both your houses” kind of blogger, but over the years I have clearly become more liberal. Why? Well, it’s pretty sad when one group is worried about our imperiled climate, while the other blindly supports coal and oil. It’s pretty sad when one group is worried about our insanely high gun deaths, while the other is against even background checks for the criminally insane. It’s pretty sad when one group is worried about our disparity of wealth—which is now ranked among many Latin American countries—while the other is worried about socialism. Really? So when every penny in Springfield goes to the C. Montgomery Burnses of the world that’s socialism? Is it opposite day again? …yep, pretty much every time I turn on Fox News. Hell, by now you peeps should have knee burns worse than Smithers.

This is the same group against returning to 90’s level taxes after their ilk broke our economy. The real reason…they don’t want another 3% taken out of their earnings because they’re going to win the state lottery next week. Yes, most of them think this.

Last week I caught this over on The Dish:

Bashkar Sunkara recently stated the stunning fact that socialism is more popular than capitalism for those between the ages 18 and 30. Here’s Andrew Sullivan’s take:

“I don’t think Sunkara is wrong about this—but mainly by default, because conservatives, instead of trying to rein in a corrupt capitalism, have been defending its excesses as principles, and just ran a Bain executive as its nominee, for Pete’s sake, after an era in which reckless financial oligarchs nearly destroyed the entire global economy.”

I agree, and I have always predicted the selective outrage over on Fox would one day cloud some real issue (my related feature here). I also warned the GOP’s blind support of those sociopathic aspects of capitalism would be the system’s undoing, here. See? I always get to link back to shit, but as for the GOP’s views and predictions…er, it’s best to forget.

In other words, the defenders of capitalism are killing it. If Republicans have absolutely no desire to fix and reform our system, the country will take its ideology elsewhere. It’s yet another example of anything championed by Fox News is doomed. There’s a deep revulsion to the GOP, and rightly so. But, sorry, this is not some liberal media conspiracy, it’s primarily due to this phenomenon:

Republicans tend to talk about how they really feel about issues…out loud…with the microphone on. (Bad Idea Jeans?)

This revulsion to the Right and what Andrew Sullivan calls “the disillusionment with the status quo” is bound to propel us somewhere. I have always believed there is a need for conservative values, but only the ones that make sense. We don’t need AM radio’s juvenile and counterproductive version. As a direct result, we may now be heading toward a period of uber-liberalism, which has its advantages and its inherent dangers.

These days adult discussion is passé as the Fox translator remains set on hyper-drivel. What can come from our political discourse with the current reading comprehension level and mindset of nearly half our country? We must, as John Dickerson suggested over on Slate, Go For The Throat! It’s a good article encouraging Obama to finish off the GOP. The article echoes many of the themes I’ve already covered. Hey, better Slate than never.

This is also what the GOP fears. Maybe Fox is right about something, maybe Obama is going for the knockout punch. Oh, wait, they’re never right…damn it!

Do I relish the idea of one unchecked party? No, but if the GOP dies perhaps some meaningful conservative movement will fill the void. In its current form the GOP has proven itself to be petty, dysfunctional, and wrong on almost any given subject.  So this is a mercy killing. Hannitized for your protection.

I think Fox News was aiming for a certain level of misinformed viewer, but like some runaway Foxenstein Monster even they are starting to question their creation.

It’s a Lie! It’s a Lie!! Sorry. Somewhere Mary Shelley is being reanimated in her grave.

Did you see the NRA President, LaPierre, interviewed over on Fox? Chris Wallace has always been a pseudo-real journalist stuck in the Matrix (check the interview here). Eventually even Fox News is going to say…er, we didn’t really mean for our viewers to get this crazy.

They can’t control their monstrous creation. The Tea Party was just the beginning…

Is a similar problem occurring over on MSNBC? Sure. But at least there’s a logical connection between the source material and their spiel…at least so far. They don’t change the whole premise of the debate via a delicate blend of extrapolation and stupidity. MSNBC has an ideology and they do spin things. I am not defending them or their tactics, in fact, I never have. I have given them negative press as far back as my Olbermann bashing from 2008.

Hell, I would watch CNN if it didn’t make me want to shoot my face off.

This is CN…zzzzzzzz.

In an effort to appear nonpartisan, CNN has given up on the whole premise of actually reporting on anything. Time and time again I have watched some politician or another on CNN voice some completely absurd viewpoint and those people never questioned anything EVER! I remember one time someone interviewing some GE executive, who was complaining about how EPA regs are stifling the markets. This interview occurred to the backdrop, of all places, the Hudson River. And this “journalist” didn’t even point out the fact that GE has been identified as the main polluter of the Hudson River!

They have become MCs, not journalists. They only introduce the next act, “Up next, kids, we have the bear on a trampoline!” Of course MSNBC’s version of that segment would have focused on the PCBs in the water and the dead river behind them, while Fox News would immediately pan up and over to the Manhattan skyline before allowing the GE guy to further explain how Obama is unfriendly to big business. Of course that’s another reason I choose liberal causes…aka, fuck you, GE.

And yet, somehow, the GOP thinks they’re the great defenders of the Constitution. Let’s be honest, they just want to keep their guns. They will not defend, nor do most of them even seem to understand any other aspect of either the Bill of Rights or the Constitution. I always envision some Foxeteer labeled an enemy combatant being dragged from his or her home.

This can happen minus any proof. There will be no trial because Habeas corpus is now easily circumvented, so no lawyer phone call either. This person will then be tortured by the CIA, which is now permissible, and then perhaps whisked away to some country willing to do even what our own country’s Gestapo won’t. The person may then be beaten until permanently mentally ill. Well, this could explain Michele Bachmann.

Oh, but here’s the part they care about…on our tax dollar! Or maybe this person is finally released in this faraway place only to be killed with a drone strike. This has happened to American citizensbefore, like Jose Padilla for one, and countless others under the Bush Administration. Well, not the drone part.

Let’s face it, the only thing a Foxeteer cares about is having access to a gun as the Feds kick in the door.  Their hero in this scenario was at least able to fumble with some bullets before shooting his clock on the mantle before the Feds tackled him. The only thing they seem truly free from these days are the facts. Yeah freedom!

“Are we hampered as a nation in our ability to address real problems in the evidence-based world if half of the people in politics do not live in that world…and, if so, how does that get fixed?”

—Rachel Maddow

Sounds like she’s channeling Zano. And you wonder why I’m more liberal these days. As I’ve been saying, there is a real danger that everything associated with conservatism will be deemed bullshit. And that day is upon us. But make no mistake, this will give a free pass for Obama and his ilk…and there’s no one to blame but yourselves.

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.