Flo From Progressive Insurance Detained By Trump Campaign for Questioning

FloTrumpML
Trump Tower—A suspicious piece of mail arrived at Donald Trump’s son’s apartment yesterday. The mail contained an as yet identified substance referred to by republicans as Benghazite. A few hours ago the actress from those Progressive commercials, Flo, was bodily dragged from her home in TV land. Donald Trump is calling Flo a “person of interest in the case,” but  has yet to explain why he plans to detain her indefinitely.  “Look, this is covered in the Patriot Act and I am the number one acting patriot.” The Geico gecko and the guys from those Sonic commercials are demanding her immediate release.

Donald Trump told reporters, “I’m not saying she’s guilty, but she’s very progressive. She’s very progressive. She wears the word on her shirt, even when she’s not on camera. So is she worth questioning? I think she is, which is why she was detained by my people. Don’t worry, I have the best people on this. They will get the truth out of her, one way or another. Bundle this, Flo!”

 Congress is demanding Flo be shipped to either Guantanamo Bay or to one of Cheney’s remaining secret facilities. Meanwhile, President Obama has called for the television icon’s release. During his lame duck session there is growing concern he will shirk this duty and just go golfing. Press Secretary Jay Carney is denying allegations the President will be lured onto the green.  Carney told reporters, “President Obama may not be able to thwart Congress on this one as his office is fresh out of executive order paperwork. We’ve been using a lot lately, as you know. We are trying to coordinate with the people at Kinko’s to correct this problem, but thus far a Memorandum Of Understanding between the popular copy office and The White House has not been finalized.”

There is also rumors John Kerry is being pulled off assignment in the Middle East to address this situation. Secretary Kerry is apparently nonplussed by his new task. “I would rather deal with Putin or the Aytollaha any day than those F-ing people at Kinko’s.”

Flo was able to get a message to the Red Cross, but it was mostly garbled gasps for air with intermittent spitting sounds. Hang in there, Flo, Friday is coming! Friday is when Team Trump switches from waterboarding to sleep deprivation and stress positions.

button11

(Visited 645 times, 1 visits today)

  12 comments for “Flo From Progressive Insurance Detained By Trump Campaign for Questioning

  1. August 15, 2017 at 11:23 PM

    Some funny shit

  2. January 1, 2018 at 2:09 AM

    What’s up, always i used to check website posts here early in the
    dawn, as i like to gain knowledge of more and more.

  3. September 24, 2019 at 8:13 PM

    Hi, I do believe this is an excellent web site.
    I stumbledupon it 😉 I am going to come back yet again since i have book marked it.
    Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide others.

  4. January 6, 2021 at 6:57 AM

    Good job! You certainly covered all important points in your post. I want to read more by you. Do you have any more blogs?

  5. January 11, 2021 at 9:25 PM

    Fantastic goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you’re just too excellent. I really like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it wise. I can’t wait to read much more from you. This is actually a wonderful web site.

  6. February 11, 2021 at 9:07 PM

    It’s very trouble-free to find out any topic on net as compared to books, as I found
    this piece of writing at this website.

  7. February 13, 2021 at 12:22 PM

    Absolutely indited subject material, thanks for entropy.

  8. February 21, 2021 at 10:17 AM

    I’ve been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It’s pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all site owners
    and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.

  9. February 21, 2021 at 10:24 PM

    For hottest information you have to visit the web and on world-wide-web I found
    this website as a best web site for most recent updates.

  10. February 25, 2021 at 11:41 AM

    Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular post!

    It’s the little changes that produce the most important changes.

    Thanks a lot for sharing!

  11. February 26, 2021 at 12:42 AM

    First of all I would like to say wonderful blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if
    you don’t mind. I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing.
    I have had a tough time clearing my mind in getting my
    thoughts out. I truly do enjoy writing but it just seems
    like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be lost simply just trying to figure out
    how to begin. Any suggestions or hints? Appreciate it!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *