How punk are you? Would you really like to know? With this handy quiz, now you can! Amaze your friends, or disgust them outright. Get kicked out of pubs, or finally get invited back into them! Just hit the read more button, answer the ten questions, and you too could be the next punk rock star, destined to couch surf your way to unemployment.

1. You were just kicked out of your home for playing the drums all night, do you?

A) Start checking around for couch space.

B) Look into getting a second job so you can get back on your feet as quickly as possible.

C) Quit your job since you don’t have to pay rent anymore. Winning!

D) Spend whatever money you have to buy a bunch of beer and have a BBQ at your friend’s house and then just never leave.

2. You have to be at work at your new job at 8am, but one of your favorite bands is headlining at the DPC:

A) You figure you just started the job so to make sure you arrive well-rested, you blow off the show.

B) You go anyway, even if you are going to be super hurting tomorrow.

C) Screw it, you just started there, you can always get a new job.

D) You get so drunk before the show, that you miss the band and then sleep through the alarm the next morning.

3. You need a new backpack desperately, but like usual, you’ll be lucky to have enough money to eat for the next few days:

A) Patch up what you have and wait to acquire one randomly through a process known as karma.

B) Steal one.

C) Cut back on your food and quit drinking until you have saved up for a new one.

D) Make a new one out of a pair of old jeans and duct tape.

4. You want to have more money for beer, so what do you quit?

A) Driving

B) Your relationship

C) Paying your gas bill

D) Using hygiene products

E) B & D as they will happen anyway.

5. The police just rolled up on your house party, so you decide to:

A) Make sure no minors have alcohol in their hands.

B) Hide the drugs.

C) Hide the minors.

D) Hide in a closet.

E) Tell everyone to leave.

F) C&D which could mean prison time.

6. You are low on cash, but have the weekend off, how do you scare up some cash for a good time?

A) Collect cans.

B) Steal jeans and sell them.

C) Hang out with your better-off buddies.

D) Have a party and let everyone know its BYOB.

7. You want to go to New Orleans, so first you:

A) Quit your job so you’ll have less strings.

B) Work hard to save up money for the trip.

C) Start being nice to that fat smelly guy you know with a car.

D) Get a posse of punker chicks to spring for gas money the whole way there.

8. Boss tells you to get a hair cut or get a new job:

A) Get a new job.

B) Quit working while at work and see how long it takes to get fired.

C) Avoid your boss like a ninja.

D) Cut your hair.

9. Your girlfriend says she wants an open relationship:

A) Hurry to make sure you sleep with a new person first.

B) Beg her to reconsider and sob.

C) Break up.

D) Sleep with her best friend and tell her women only.

10. A car full of drunk dickheads start to harass you while you are walking home at night:

A) Grab a rock and threaten their lives.

B) Run away as quickly as possible, sobbing.

C) Throw the rock at the car window.

D) Ask them if they have any beer.

Bonus Points:

+ 1 point for each night spent in jail with a punk hair cut.

+ 1 point for each time you have thrown up while listening to live music

+ 1 point for each color your hair has been

+ 1 point for every time you hooked up at a punk rock show

+ 1 point for each time you have had a punk rock show with bands at your house.

Scoring

1. You were just kicked out of your home for playing the drums all night, do you?

A) Start checking around for couch space. + 5

B) Look into getting a second job so you can get back on your feet as quickly as possible. – 10

C) Quit your job since you don’t have to pay rent anymore. Winning! + 1

D) Spend whatever money you have to buy a bunch of beer and have a BBQ at your friend’s house and then just never leave. + 10

2. You have to be at work at your new job at 8am, but one of your favorite bands is headlining at the DPC:

A) You figure you just started the job so to make sure you arrive well-rested, you blow off the show. – 5

B) You go anyway, even if you are going to be super hurting tomorrow. +1

C) Screw it, you just started there, you can always get a new job. + 10

D) You get so drunk before the show, that you miss the band and then sleep through the alarm the next morning. – 5

3. You desperately need a new backpack desperately, but like usual, you’ll be lucky to have enough money to eat for the next few days:

A) Patch up what you have and wait to acquire one randomly through a process known as karma. + 10

B) Steal one. + 1

C) Cut back on your food and quit drinking until you have saved up for a new one. – 10

D) Make a new one out of a pair of old jeans and duct tape. + 5

4. You want to have more money for beer, so what do you quit?

A) Driving + 5

B) Your relationship + 1

C) Paying your gas bill + 10

D) Using hygiene products + 5

E) B & D as they will happen anyway. +15

5. The police just rolled up on your house party, so you decide to:

A) Make sure no minors have alcohol in their hands. +5

B) Hide the drugs. +5

C) Hide the minors. + 10

D) Hide in a closet. + 5

E) Tell everyone to leave. -10

F) C&D which could mean prison time. -15

6. You are low on cash, but have the weekend off, how do you scare up some cash for a good time?

A) Collect cans. +1

B) Steal jeans and sell them. -5

C) Hang out with your better-off buddies. +5

D) Have a party and let everyone know its BYOB. + 10

7. You want to go to New Orleans, so first you:

A) Quit your job so you’ll have less strings. +1

B) Work hard to save up money for the trip. -5

C) Start being nice to that fat smelly guy you know with a car. +5

D) Get a posse of punker chicks to spring for gas money the whole way there. +10

8. Boss tells you to get a hair cut or get a new job:

A) Get a new job. +1

B) Quit working while at work and see how long it takes to get fired. +10

C) Avoid your boss like a ninja. +5

D) Cut your hair. -10

9. Your girlfriend says she wants an open relationship:

A) Hurry to make sure you sleep with a new person first. +10

B) Beg her to reconsider and sob. -10

C) Break up. +1

D) Sleep with her best friend and tell her women only. +5

10. A car full of drunk dickheads start to harass you while you are walking home at night:

A) Grab a rock and threaten their lives. +5

B) Run away as quickly as possible, sobbing. -10

C) Throw the rock at the car window. +1

D) Ask them if they have any beer. +10

Your Punk Rock Rating:

<0 Get back to working on the Jeb Bush Campaign

0-20 You’ve got something white dripping from your chin

21-40 Can you loan me your car

41-60 Oh how cute, is that your first mohawk

61-80 Welcome to the squat, now go get us some beer

91-100 Can I see your cassette collection?

100-110 Yeah my sister is cool, let me give you her number

110-120 Dude we should road trip to that show

120-130 My sofa is yours man

130-140 So, The Armpit Salesmen are looking for a lead singer

140-150 Old School Royalty

150+ Prince(ess) of Punk

What the Hell, I scored 166, but then again, it is my quiz. Hope you enjoyed.

Get some of my punk rock fiction here!