Bones of Ancient "Real" Republican Unearthed

Archeologist discovers the fossilized remains of a traditional George Will-like conservative dating back to the pre-Reagan administration.

"This exciting find could provide key evidence for the comparative study of Republican de-evolution," claims archeologist Sterling Hogbein of the Hogbein Institute and Microbrewery. "The skull is 31% larger than today’s social conservative," continues Hogbein, "and the pelvic bone suggests a much larger and heavier scrotal sack."

Newer conservatives seem to have lost the ability to use tools, keep governments small, and maintain even a rudimentary budget.

"Perhaps," posits Hogbein, "evolution is getting even with the non-believers."

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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