Dear Ghetto Shaman,

When contacting the spirit realms, should I first put a teaspoon of the lye crystals into the bottle of ephedrine and then agitate?

Sincerely,

Fabio 6

Dear Fabio 6,

No, no.  Dude! Stop! You can’t make ayahuasca, man.  You’re making methamphetamine!  In which case you should use only an eighth of a teaspoon of lye crystals.  Meth is usually snorted or injected but, for a more authentic ayahuasca experience, try dissolving it in a rancid birch beer while gnawing on a stick.

The Ghetto Shaman