News Of John Bolton’s Experience At The White House Isn’t News

Tweet Tower—Why are John Bolton’s revelations from his upcoming book revelations? Who knew a narcissist could act narcissistic by putting his own re-election over the greater good? That’s the flippin’ definition of narcissism! Why are we still surprised by Trump’s actions in 2020? The DSM hasn’t changed that section since flippin’ Freud. Meanwhile, my friend and blogvesary, a man with a Rorschach-with-an-electron-microscope level of commitment to the minutiae, is still ranting about Spygate and he wants widespread liberal prosecutions. What is your endgame, sir? Trump’s rather notorious place in history is sealed and my Trump/Mussolini and Barr/Franco analogies seem less hyperbolic each and every news cycle. We elected a crime-boss president with fascist friends, and like any other modern-day conservative experiment: It.Failed.Miserably—to the point where the dollar itself hangs in the balance. What are you even hoping for, Pokey? That the widespread incompetence plaguing our country, which no doubt reached our intelligence community, has some positive political implications? Maybe there’s a bad cop in there somewhere so the crime boss walks? [Walk Don’t Run joke removed by the Ventures Foundation.] How do you continue to ignore the obvious? When are you going to see what’s actually happening, not the fantasy foxal matter counter-narrative? When will you realize that when people who share your ideology lead it’s akin to a cluster fuck giving birth to a mega-snafu during an F-5 sharknado?

My friend and blogvesary ended our last messenger FB session with another Spygate rant, something akin to “Strzok lied and people spied. You know I’m right, Zano. Admit it.” What? I predicted procedural errors would be found by Horowitz, and I predicted they would be prosecuted and politically weaponized post-Durham yet, try as Fox & Friends may, no tangible links will be bridged to Obama, Hillary or Biden. The resulting dust that’s kicked up, however, could still impact the election …because that was always the plan.

Zano, Zano. Now that Bolton’s excerpts are leaking, Barr and Trump are finished.

You’re not getting it, Colonel Klink is still in charge of the Stalag. Too old? Fine, there’s still a vacancy sign in front of the Bates Hotel. No? How about, Hannibal Lechter is still in charge of the menu? Our commander in chief and his Sheriff Scheisskopf are not going anywhere. There is no act too egregious for a republican to turn on another republican and they are the law. They are the bad cop protecting the worse cop.

They will persevere. The Trump enablers won’t want to make a change this close to an election. Of course, a medical issue and a Pence/Haley ticket is increasingly likely (Hat tip: Tommy G.), but there will be no next impeachment, no investigation, just more denials and excuses from the cretins that call themselves republicans.

To the backdrop of Bolton’s new damning revelations, Fox News is only increasing their calls to prosecute the agent responsible for the mistakes in the Carter Page FISA warrant. Go for it, but Horowitz found widespread procedural irregularities across the board, so this is selective enforcement. And keep in mind, again, nothing in this country works anymore. Have you tried to do something lately? Anything? Transactions end badly, internet portals suck, and everything is about as easy as IKEA minus the instructions. Hey, the bookshelves are here! …uh, we didn’t order bookshelves?

Meanwhile, my concern has stayed laser-focused on the danger of this president speaking to other world leaders out loud, unsupervised, and woefully unprepared. Bolton’s book isn’t out yet, but here’s a sneak peek per Politico:

Bolton writes that the House should have broadened its impeachment inquiry to other areas of his foreign policy, contending that he can document — and identify witnesses to —”Ukraine-like transgressions … across the full range of his foreign policy.”

So this was our president’s M.O. all along. Who knew?  Oh yeah, me …last year:

“Here’s what I want to know: when each and every conversation this president has with world leaders likely ranges from impeachable to indictable, who gave the order to stop spying on the enemy within?”

If you’re spying on a criminal and no one is there to extend the FISA warrant, does it make a Burisma?

Granted, Bolton should have testified to congress but, like all republicans, he went for the money over principle. Or, my joke at the time:

It’s too late now, so good luck with the book sales, John! Maybe if the dollar collapses, you will still make enough for your lawyer fees.

Crimes are occurring and Trump is selling this country out phone call by phone call, or, per Bolton, “obstruction as a way of life.” And this period will have profound consequences for our future and our place in the world. And this is occurring while my friend, who I still consider a smart guy, remains fixated on the equivalent of some Miranda rights violation. I don’t actually want to downplay the mistakes of our intelligence community, but this is probably how they’ve always operated, badly—just like everything else amidst the last throes of our democracy. People should be punished for the FISA mess, but the bigger story is this: my cat could make a stronger case to keep listening to this president than the FBI managed, and she’s really aloof.

How chilling do events have to become before you take notice, Poke? How many Inspector Generals and whistleblowers must go? How many Saturday night massacres are too many for republican sensibilities? How many Bolton excerpts must leak before a clear picture emerges? At the heart of today’s conservatism, lies an impressive vigilance. They ceaselessly repel any and all facts from entering their field of consciousness. And they don’t even notice because abject cognitive dissonance is an important prerequisite for becoming a republican. And make no mistake, this post-truth world will give way to a post American one. Are your affairs in order?

Let’s end with this gem. Per Adam Schiff, here was a recent exchange with our AG:

Adam Schiff: Don’t you worry how history will judge your handling of all of this?

William Barr: History is written by the winners.

If they are the winners, we have already lost.


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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.