Funding Shortfall Sparks Trump’s ‘Intermittent Border Wall’ Strategy

North of the Border—The White House believes it has reached a suitable comprise after being thwarted by a series of court rulings that block both funding for the wall, as well as the use of the military to build the structure. President Trump intends to erect a thousand mile, unscalable partial wall (UPW), an intermittent expanse stretching from San Diego California to a terminus point the president describes as “somewhere in Colorado.”

In a presidential tweet today, the president said, “You can not get over this wall. Where there is a wall, which is still a lot of wall, it’s unscalable. And it’s a good wall, the best wall. I would like to get the Walmart people involved with the rest of the wall, because they are wall people. They even have a pharmacy, in case people get sick of my wall #MissionAccomplished.”

The president went on to say, “We intend to put the rest of the wall in place after I have full control of the judic- the judiciar …my judges. I already have Judge Janine, Judge Judy and Judge Wopner. Did you know the Wopner is not made with real meat anymore? Yeah, I’m not going to allow that. I have ordered the Burger King to stop that shit, immediately. He may be a king, but he’s not the king.”

In related news, McDonald’s CEO Ousted After In-N-Out Bugger With Other Chik-fil-A

 

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family. 

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