Reid Walks on the Wild Side, Steps in Shit

Pierce Winslow

Harry Reid really stepped in it now, but into what did he step? A pile of Republican bullshit, by the looks of it. Senator Reid was quoted in some expose-esque work as saying that America was ready for a “light-skinned” African-American president with “no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.” Soooo, where did he call Obama anything racist? Is Obama not African American? Is he not light-skinned? Does he not have Negro Dialect only when he wants one? I’m not saying this is the best choice of words, mind you, but calling for Reid’s resignation? Please… Can’t we throw him out of office on his own merits?

Apparently now you can’t call someone what they are even using semi-politically correct phrasing. What would happen if someone called him a Muslim? Oh, never mind…

It seems to me that Reid wasn’t attempting to make any statement about Obama at all. Senator Reid was evaluating the mood of the American voter – accurately I might add. The American Voter is ready for {the 27 eight by ten color glossy pictures with circles and arrows…}. Yes, Obama fits the description, and hence the American people are ready for him. Where is the degradation here? America was ready for a light-skinned African-American president with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one. There I said it too, gonna fire me for it? Well, you can’t, because I’m the CEO. So get back to work, bitches!

And if he had said that America was not ready for a dark-skinned African American with a thick Negro dialect, he probably would have been right then too. Do you really think that some boy from the hood, fluent in ebonics, would have lasted through a single debate? I can see it now…

Mr Gibson: Mr. Obama, how would you resurrect the starving economy?

Mr. Obama: Yo Homey, looky heya. We gotsa get mo niggas grindin’ time ‘n’ stackin’ cheese, y’know wha om sayin’?. Too many brothas is keepin’ it real, y’know? Dasa jackin’ me up ma bizzle.

Mr. Gibson: How would you resolve the war on terror?

Mr. Obama: We gotsa grit on these Al Quaeda motha fuckas. Bump dat Iraqi bull-turkey jive, bitch. Bust a cap on Bin Ladin’s ass, ya know? Really ball up that mutha fucka. We gotsa be bumpin’ uglies in Afghanistan, White Bread.

Somehow I don’t think that a performance like that would have had quite the same outcome. Now I suppose everyone out there is going to start calling me a racist. Saying these things does not make me a racist; it makes me a realist. Can you really see Miss Polly Purebread from Morman, UT going into the voting booth and flipping the lever for Snoop Dog? Me neither, racist.

The Republicans could really have used someone with the kind of insight shown by Senator Reid back in ‘08. Who was the dumb mother fucker that said “America is ready for a hot MILF that can’t express a coherent thought and thinks that Saddam Hussein is responsible for 9/11”? Now there’s a guy that should have lost his job. Oh, right… And if they nominate that bitch from Moosefucker, AK next election someone needs to lose more than his job.

Now you want to talk about real political incorrectness? This is how my staff wanted to cover the story…

Harry Reid Sets the Record Straight
Harry Reid Sets the Record Straight..."Sorry, I meant nigger."
"Sorry, I meant nigger."

…now that’s degradation. I don’t know what to do with these guys. They’re out of control. Luckily, I won’t stand for such things as head of the moral beacon that is the Daily Discord.

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Pierce Winslow

Pierce Winslow is the Discord's Brain, Chief Engineer and C.E.O. He co-founded the Discord along with Mick Zano in 2008 and they have both been sorry ever since.