Another Unnecessary Scathing Personal Attack on Pernick

Mick Zano

Somehow unnecessary wars and the Bush tax cuts never seem to match up to Jimmy Carter’s move to get people into homes.  Do I have to show you the graph again?  The Congressional Budget Office numbers site Bush tax cuts and the wars as the two biggest deficit generators.  The housing debacle is ranked third, and is comparatively much less of a projected issue over time, but I understand how third can be first when seen through the magniFoxing glass.

Remember, an unnecessary war is just that, unnecessary.  The ball Jimmy Carter got rolling in the seventies eventually put people into homes, albeit some of them wrongly, but what’s a worse way to spend some cash: putting people into homes, or the bombing, invading, and occupying of a country under false pretenses?  Hmmmm.  And let’s remember, the Bush tax cuts weren’t tax cuts.  Call them what they are, deferrals—they are ultimately loans from China.  Yeah, great plan there, fiscal conservative guy.  But you keep focusing on those numbers you were programmed to focus on.  I’m not defending the housing debacle, but it’s third.  And if you think Barney Frank single handedly destroyed us, you’re [insert any Crank capitalized adjective].

I still use the equation dumb (D), dumber (R), and dumbest (T-party).  It tends to work like a charm on a wide array of topics.  Here’s the big difference between you and I: at this pivotal point in our history, I want a viable, intelligent third party to rise from the ashes of our declining civilization.  Also, lot of spending cuts and some tax hikes are inevitable, because the mess is upon us.  No one really thinks we can do it through spending cuts only (except you).

And, you’re a huge Tea Party supporter  The Tea Party people have some good ideas, but their spokespeople have all escaped from some group home somewhere.  At this point, they’ve seriously missed some important psychotropic med doses.   I’m not a witch.  I’m you…off of your medications.   

If the midterms go all R on us, you did say you would hold them accountable if they keep up the spending.  How will you hold them accountable? By electing Jeb Bush or something?  Why do you keep falling for it?  Was it their pinkie promise they’d be fiscally responsible this time?  Hey, Pernick, I’m going to hold this football and you run and kick it. 

On your website you have a Tea Party rally that CNN allegedly downplayed.  Your quote on your home page says it all:

“CNN reported "at least dozens" on their network.  See the video for yourself.  Is it any wonder so few people still watch their version of cable "news"?”

How is this worse than Fox actually splicing in footage of a bigger rally amidst the Bachman rally?  At the end of the day, Fox was outted by a comedian!  Of course, I realize, our comedians are now civilization’s Uber Journalists, but how can you think that a CNN reporter getting to a Tea Party a little early is worse than Fox’s willful deceit back in some editing room?

Here’s my equation as applied to the media:

CNN = Dumb

MSNBC = Dumber

Fox News = Dumbest

This equation still works every time.  It’s like magic. 

What am I missing, well, more to the point, what are you missing? How do you skip over the worst bunch to bitch about something far more reasonable, pragmatic, and credible…every time?!  You all seem to suffer from this ailment.  Blind ideology has done more to damage this country in recent years than a million “elitists”.  Why, as a seemingly smart individual, do you align yourself with the dunce cap brigade (DCB)?  I live in AZ where the Tea Party thrives and I hear their candidates, every day, saying things like, “I have a gun; I have a truck; I shoot things from my truck; elect me for Congress.” It would be really funny, if it wasn’t resonating with so many other people who shoot things from their trucks.  As I have said, long before the Tea Party, I’ve been advocating for real change.  You’re advocating rebranded republican idiocy (RRI). 

You defend your side of the aisle a bit too much, sir.  I am guilty of this too…er, if I had a side of the aisle.  I should be calling Obama out more often than I do.  But, in reality, the last $1.65 trillion Obama spent was a reaction to the collapse.  It staved off a depression.  TARP and certainly part of the stimulus worked.  I was against bailing out the auto industry and (drum roll please), I was wrong!

Holy shit.  Are you serious, Zano?

Yes, this marks my second retraction EVER.  My first clue should have been that the Crank and I agreed on this one.   I mean, of course, the Obama TARP worked—the part that had conditions, not Bush’s, “hey, where did that $750 million go again?”  I was clearly wrong on the car industry part, so I must now whine about it for several more paragraphs.   No one is discussing this on Fox because they spent too long trying to pin TARP solely on Obama to bother. 

How do you reconcile the fact that most economist of our time say that if we hadn’t done Operation Monopoly Money, the global economy would have flat-lined, for good!  Probably the same thing you say to the 70% of scientists warning us about global warming.  What do you say to the economists who say we didn’t go far enough?  The stimulus was proportionately bigger in parts of Europe and, lo and behold, France and Germany were quicker on the stimulus trigger and quicker to recover.  Hmmmm. 

Again, what do you say to the Congressional Budget Office numbers which site the wars and bush tax cuts as the biggest deficit creators ever?  How do you blame the guy faced with a depression?  By calling him a liar, it seems.   Sorry, not this time.  He inherited this shit, even if it was 60/40 (R to D blame).  Either way he came into his presidency during an economic freefall not seen since my first three attempts to move out of my parent’s basement.  Look, if I step onto an elevator and it starts dropping three floors per second, I don’t blame the guy who punched the floor button.

The kindest history will ever be to the republicans is 60/40 blame-wise.  I have been saying 70/30 or 65/35 but I would be willing to go as high as 60/40, but that’s probably being overly generous to the Bushies.  So, you want that 60% fault group back in power two years later why?  Whereas you won’t defend the republicans’ record, you’re still happily voting them back into power.  Frankly, I haven’t recovered from their last debacle, nor has the country. 

Here’s why the Tea Party remains strangely void of reason.  Where do you find these people?  Why would you work on a thesis for several years, get it just the way you want, and then hire feces flinging monkeys to defend it before the board?   This is what you people are doing.  Aren’t there smart dumb people somewhere who could rally to our cause?  You know what I mean.  Well, maybe you don’t. 

It’s frustrating having people like Glenn Beck leading the charge that America’s broken. Sorry, but I would have absolutely no confidence in a Beck Administration.  And this is the consistent theme throughout the Tea Party.  Their brains have been warped by misinformation, or, in some cases, no information.  So I ask again, where are the frustrated people with a clue?  Well, since none of my movements have caught on, far be it for me to take my ball and go home.

I am starting the Z-Party movement!   It starts here, it starts now! 

Just hit the Contact Us button to join! This isn’t going to be like my last movement, which only generated scorn and nasty emails.  This time, the time is right for real integral change!

I am holding my first big kick off rally in Washington D.C. on October 30th. I don’t believe anything is going on that weekend.  There, I plan to address Other Important Things Previously Overlooked and Stuff, though, we are having a hard time getting this on the poster.  I know this is short notice, but I too have been charged by God, or a dream, or a dream God to point out the absurdities inherent in our broken system.  See you Saturday!

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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.