I’m Waving the Cranky White Towel of Disgust

The Crank

We’re all toast. I can’t argue anymore, Mikko. To paraphrase the Grateful Dead, we’re all goin’ to hell in a hand basket, but where I beg to differ with Mr. Garcia is this: I am NOT enjoyin’ da ride.  The 28 days of February saw the U.S. borrow a record 266 billion dollars. That’s more than most presidents’ YEARLY deficit!   In fact, that’s more than most of the Discord contributor’s combined bar tabs…or pretty darn close.

And, yes Mikko, that’s why I said MOST presidents.  Notice I also said MOST Discord contributors (you and the Shaman might skew that score).  But, what is Washington all fired up about? They replaced the paper cups with Styrofoam?  Oh the horror.  Then the Dems threaten to sue the Republicans if they get cancer from them? We need to reduce the deficit by gazillions of frigging dollars. I don’t care if you assholes have to eat off plutonium plates at this point.

Here’s the great budget debate of 2011, summarized for your enjoyment:

Step 1: The GOP decides they want to cut $61 billion

Step 2: Obama downgrades that to $6 billion (which, according to math whiz Geithner, really only entails dropping the one).

Step 3: Then Democrats in the Senate double down on the stupid, “Hows ’bout $4.7 billion?”

Step 4: Then this pill on Capitol Hill goes to Congress, where a handful of newbies are flitting around yelling how the shit is hitting the fan.  And, with pieces of shit actually hitting their faces, everyone else in Congress “poo-poos” the idea (I do apologize for that one.  Just be thankful the faces-feces one was omitted).

I think they finally settled on cutting 6 dollars and 87 cents (probably from my paycheck).

Look up the words “Don’t Get It” in the dictionary and you will find a picture of our current Congress.

Uhhhh, we have a 14 trillion dollar shortfall, folks.  Really, that’s all you could muster?  And Harry ‘kill the prostitutes’ Reid argued on the Senate floor on how unbelievable it was that the meanies at the GOP want to defund the North Nevada Cowboy Poetry Festival (NNCPF).  No shit. I can’t make this stuff up—well, I could but in this case I didn’t have to.

Gas is up near four dollars a gallon. The Mideast is all F-d up. Donald ‘It Ain’t Not A Hairpiece’ Trump had it right.

As his hair waved hello to us in the wind, he recently stated in an interview: “Just when we are starting to dig our way out of a recession by ourselves, the powers that be will figure out a way to screw it up.”

Boy, was he right.

No permits issued for drilling, even though they found a crap load of oil in North Dakota. Have you ever been to North Dakota?

The six people that live there said, “Sure, go ahead & drill.  Just leave the cash by the trailer door.”

Oh, and not one permit issued for a nuke plant since the movie China Syndrome aired in the seventies (a slight exaggeration, but amusing nevertheless). We have a nuke here on the surface of the sun (Arizona), and it works just peachy. No fumes, no glow in the dark creatures, nutin’, just power, cheap power. I have been there many times, and have never seen anything resembling a Homer Simpson working there. A bunch of them do look like Willie Nelson, though, which is almost as bad.

Natural Gas (ppffft). The U.S. has enough Natural Gas to fart-power whole star systems but there is one problem (besides the smell). No permits issued for new drilling. Safe for the environment, clean, efficient? Nah, we don’t want any of that now, do we?  Too easy.

Not one new oil refinery built in twenty years. Even if we did get more oil, we can’t refine it. Have you ever seen the ones we have? Go to southern Louisiana. Sadly, I have. Looks like Mad Fucking Max was filmed there. (They should have let Lake Ponchartraine reclaim Orleans, but that’s another rant.)

Remember, you wouldn’t have to actually drill for anything. Just say you are, and the day traders will drop the price of oil like a DUI trying to ditch his Thunderbird bottle as the trooper approaches the vehicle.

And another thing, everyone in Washington wants to know the secret to job production. Just what is it we need to do? The answer? NOTHING!

No really, don’t DO shit. When they DO shit, it costs us money. They take in three dollars for every one they “invest” (their new code word for spend). The top earning 49% of the people in the U.S. pay nearly 90% of the taxes. The top 5% pay over 25%. A FULL 51% pay NO taxes at all! Can you say “Flat Tax?” I knew ya could.  Even Mikko agrees with this one. Even it all up. If you earn a buck, you pay tax. Period. We all pay the same %, and we all (meaning those of us that actually PAY taxes) will pay much less. Now THIS is MY kind of REDISTRIBUTION of wealth.

As for Madison, WI, unions are a victim of their own greed and stu-fucking-pidity. They took a good thing and ruined it. They will never recover, because the feline has not only jumped out of the eco-friendly shopping sack, it’s working in a sweat shop in China. To review the union phenomenon, we all pay taxes so they can have benefits we will never have (Oops. heh heh, sorry), while adding a hefty pay grade that sends all of our manufacturing to various Pacific Rim environs.

I was a union member for 25 years. At that time, in that business, they were a necessity. I am angry at today’s union leaders. The old Jewish guys that ran mine would eat these newbies for lunch.

To top off everything that’s wrong with this country, they got Julianne Moore to play Sarah Palin in an upcoming pic on the ’08 election. Geeh, Hollywood will surely be non-partisan, right? They better pad her up some. Old Sarah “the other white meat” Palin has some front to go with that back.

By the way, this last item was the straw that broke the Crankster’s back.  I could have lived with everything else, but bad casting?  It’s over. 

The Crank

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