Uncategorized

Carter Uses Last Executive Order To Veto Cancer

AAg4WjNPlains, GAFormer President Jimmy Carter was recently diagnosed with a malignant melanoma. Many on the right have therefore concluded he was a goner and called him such names as, “The Neville Chamberlain of Malignancy” and “Weak on Cancer.” The 91-year old has proved them all wrong again as his last test indicates he is now totally free from the disease. Carter explained the details of his political move to the press: “We all get one last executive order on the way out the door. Bush Jr. used his to avoid being tried as a war criminal, Clinton used his on the other intern incident, and Nixon used his on a cloak of invisibility. You got to hand it to Tricky Dick. I guess he wanted an encore to that 18-minutes of lost tape.”

Post-Bush Republicans: The PBRs Of Today’s Politics

featureHow do republicans remain so oblivious of their own demise? As far as I can figure, they’re so mad at the establishment they plan to suck even more. W’s IQ was among the lowest of any president and Trump is estimated to be even lower, here. I predicted a deterioration, but even I can’t believe how far south of Bush these people have come, the political taint, if you will. Under a republican president we were never going to have healthcare cost containment, we were never going to have an Iran deal, and we were never going to have a recovery in the first place. At minimum we’d be at war with Iran and at maximum our planet would be a radioactive ball of dust. Your candidates belong in a circus, not in the Oval Office. Kidding, circus people are talented.

Wait?! Savage Compared The Donald to The Churchill?

winston_churchillTrump Tower—Have you heard of Michael Savage? He’s an AM Radio anti-personality host who just compared Donald Trump to today’s Winston Churchill. Having heard his shtick, I always thought The Savage Nation had an IQ point or two above the Limbaughs of the world. Looks like another retraction. If Trump were faced with some Nazi aggression I think this is the speech he would deliver to quell the fears down in Glitter Gulch. I call it We Shall Never Sahara!

Pope To Pop Fox News Bubble

foxbubbleVatican CityThe Pope has invoked an amazing amount of ire on the right. I haven’t seen this much angst since Obama tried to insure more Americans for less money. His Holiness recently stated that weapons manufactures can no longer call themselves Christians. What next, is the Pope going to stop supporting our troops? Will he revoke his NRA membership? From my cold, dead psalms! What you are now hearing is the sound of our Fox and Friends being nailed to the proverbial cross. Weapons of Mass Crucifixion?